Why do many women frown at serving their man food at the table?

[Gloree]

I've noticed that many women say "he has hands" or "he is a man, he has legs. He should get it himself."

Personally, I can't wait to do those things. Why? Because I love him. I want to welcome him home with a kiss and help remove his tie or cufflinks.

I want to serve him dinner or bring him breakfast in bed, not because he demands it but because I love him.

What is your opinion about all this?

Updates

+1 y

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is the woman's duty. I'm just saying most women have become too defensive like the way they say it is quite disturbing.

It's about both parties respecting each other. Simple. People should do things based on love not pride or ego.

[AmandaYVR]

A lot of girls are rebelling against this now, because there's not that much difference between the two people both working full-time jobs, so because females tend to spend more hours every week doing domestic stuff (they have higher standards for how they want to live in their environment, for one reason), they tend to resent a modern man who doesn't acknowledge and understand this. They think, "Why should I do domestic things for him, when he doesn't share equal load in that way, or randomly do domestic things for me?" Some men do. But it's the ones that don't, that act selfish and lazy, that really bother young women today. Older generation women were more used to this attitude, and there was a more clear separation of jobs and duties. Now with everything being more shared, split doing the same, girls are fed up.

But if you like doing this, by all means, keep doing it. As long as he likes and appreciates it, it's a nice thing to do. Just make sure he is as kind to you, even if it is in different ways.

People shouldn't keep score. If someone likes doing something, they should feel free to just do it. Women are typically better at creating a homey home. Cooking can be learned by either, it's not gender-specific. (Despite what many of the world's top chefs think.)

[sunflower00]

I don’t think women generally hate the thought of acts of kindness for their partners. I think the issue is being expected to do it all the time, or the partner being demanding about it.


Not going to lie I couldn’t wait for all of that either until my boyfriend and I actually moved in together and he started being unappreciative and demanding. We said we’d split things 50/50 and work together, but he started demanding I do this and that like fetch him a glass of water or make the dinner rather than asking nicely or saying please and thank you for anything. This makes me not want to do it because it’s rude, whereas before I would have loved to do things like this to make him happy and be kind.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

This doesn't affect me at all. However, for those men affected by this, take note of the situation.

If you notice as a man that you're always saying "she has hands" or "she is a woman, she has legs. She should get it herself."

Take action!

Open your eyes for she is not a woman. She must be a round ball of a body with no limbs. Hence, the reluctance to do anything for you as she cannae move!

Take said round ball of a body to the nearest bowling alley and score as many strikes as you can.

When you've finished, hike the highest elevation of land mass you can find, ideally one with an incredibly, insane incline. Once you reach the summit... Let go of the round ball of the body and watch it roll all the way back down.

Stifle your laughter, take in the views whilst you're up there and breathe a sigh of relief as you're now free of said round ball of a body.

Finally, once you get back down, get your eyes checked to ensure that if you do encounter another woman, she has limbs at the very least!

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Thank you for MHO :-)

[Moose304]

Why is it a lady's job to serve her man? At my house, one of my greatest pleasures is to serve my guests. In all honesty though in almost every situation I put my food on the table and my guests serve themselves. I have some guests coming over tonight and I am planning a Mongolian Barbecue.

[Gloree]

That is so sweet

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re saying. Maybe it’s kind of an old-fashioned gender role but I serve my boyfriend food also and I refill his drinks. I wash and fold his clothes. I cut his hair. Things like that. Not because I have to but because I want to. The traditional nature of it is comforting to me. On the flip side, he does all the maintenance on my car. He takes care of the lawn care and landscaping. If something needs fixed around the house, he automatically does it. He opens doors for me. He works more hours than I do and pays a larger share of the bills. It cuts both ways. Die hard feminists might scoff at what I’m saying here but it works for us and I don’t really want to change it… and I think that’s ok.

[Gloree]

Exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing. This is awesome.

[boggboss]

Not sure why this became a massive thing why gestures of kindness are seen as subservience if I open the door for my girl or give her a jacket when she is cold it's not because it's somthing I feel I must or have to do I do it because I'm happy to help her

[genericname85]

women who frown at that are mostly entiteled, narcissistic bitches who probably never have been with a decent man in their life.

if you're in a "good" relationship, you like to serve each other like that, cause it's reciprocal. he does stuff for you, you do stuff for him. it's just nice to experience someone caring for you and mutually giving and taking validation and gratitude. nobody who had such a relationship would ever frown upon that unless they're some sort of psychopath.

[Haha456]

its not about being reciprocal. It is about the fact that ONLY WOMEN need to cook and serve her man. The man does not need to.

[genericname85]

@Haha456 why care about people who think like that? it's a sad minority. no point in wasting your hate on those. and even then there's women who want exactly that. why get so worked up about what other people want that you don't like?

[Haha456]

because its sexist. you don't think women like their husbands to cook for them too? only men matter, women do not

[Gloree]

@Haha456 this is wrong

[genericname85]

@Haha456 yeah it's sexist. sow hat? it is nobodies problem. nobody is forced to be with a person like that. what this is, is creating imaginary enemies in your mind that you can be angry at. what's the purpose of that? they don't have any sort of power to change anything in your life for the worse. who cares?

[genericname85]

@Haha456 i personally enjoy cooking for myself and for others so i would actually not let her cook exclusively. but that's my preference and my opinion. i don't tell other people what they should prefer.

[Haha456]

@genericname85

yea you're refusing to criticize sexism, which means you do encourage sexism. you like sexism but you're too afraid to say it.

[genericname85]

@Haha456 no i refuse to infringe on the individuals liberty to live their life how they wanna live their life. if a guy wants a woman who stays in the kitchen, he's free to want that. there's women who want to be that. who am i to tell people what they should want. i think you're trying to dictate other peoples lifestyle from the moral high ground of calling it "sexism" and i'm not a fan of that.

[genericname85]

@Haha456 women aren't mens slaves. they can choose not to be with a sexist man if they don't want a sexist man. and if they want a sexist man, how dare you tell them they can't have that?

[Haha456]

@genericname85

because men who force women to be in the kitchen do not tend to see women as equals. they see women as inferior to them. and they see women who are smart as a threat to men. they want women to stay stupid and inferior. one of the best ways to do that is to force them to stay in the kitchen. Its immoral.

[Haha456]

@genericname85

and it takes a certain level of lack of respect for women if a man thinks he has the power to boss a woman around or control what a woman wants to do with her life. since when can men dictate what a woman should do in her life?

how would you feel if a woman constantly thinks she can dictate what a man does in his life?

[genericname85]

@Haha456 again. no woman is forced to stay with a man. you're ignoring that women have free will choices. so you're being sexist and oppressive. i have no reason to keep talking to someone like you

[genericname85]

@galoree i'd like to hear your opinion what was wrong about it. i blocked this other person.

[genericname85]

@Gloree sory misspelled the name

[Subarugirl]

The issue is when it’s not reciprocal, they both work all day and then when they get home she does the majority of the domestic labor as well.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl well in that situation you're free to leave. nobody forces you to stay with a person like that.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl it's not like the 1950 where women were financially dependent on their men so they virtually couldn't just leave.

[Subarugirl]

Obviously you are free to leave but it's never quite as black and white as that especially when their in children and co-owned property involved. The issue is that are many many men who do this, and who have that expectation and then weaponize incompetence to get out of their responsibilities as an adult part of that household. Most people want to work on an fix problems in their relationship instead of throwing in the towel as soon as there are issues that need to be addressed.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl why would you have children with a disrespectful man who expects you to stay in the kitchen? Why is it that this feminazi narrative that you're repeating after never gives women any accountability for their own actions? I'm not calling you a feminazi. I'm just saying those are the typical arguments that managed to make their way into pop culture that in my opinion are just completely ignorant of female accountability.

[genericname85]

i mean it always seems like people are looking for the most far fetched low propability example to still make their point tha they then wanna form into some sort of description of society as a whole. i'm sure you'll find that one man who betrays his wife in mean spirits by playing the perfect husband for 10 years and then suddenly completely flips, doing completely nothing. but is this really that sort of social development that is evolving into a big issue? i don't think so. i think this is the feminist narrative that creates male enemies that don't exist or barely exist.

[Subarugirl]

why is it that you are so focused on the people who suffer from that kind of behavior instead of focusing on the people who behave that way. If you want to talk about accountability shouldn't the person who is actually doing something wrong being held accountable? That's like blaming the victim of a crime saying they are some how responsible for what someone else chose to do them.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl well that's exactly the point i was arguing before with that other girl that i blocked for calling me sexist before you came into the conversation. like isn't it your accountability to choose your partner according to your liking? and obviously nobody forces you to date a man who considers women a kitchen appliance right? and there are women who like being the stay at home women making their man a sandwitch when he calls for it. so like to each their own right? i'm not going to forbid anyone their chosen way of life.

and what i'm saying is that most people look for a partner according to their liking, while already living that livestyle that they want a partner to fit into as they meet people to potentially stay with. men as well as women do that right? am i going out too far on a limb if i say that the overwhelming majority of men do not play the perfect "equal partner" husband for several years just to get a woman to marry her, have children with and then suddenly flip into becoming a deadbeat misogynist macho?

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl so the narrative you're creating is claiming that men routinely fool women with false promises. and i'm just not buying that narrative that makes women the victim.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl like sorry but i just don't buy that women are that naive and stupid. i just don't wanna think about women that way.

[Subarugirl]

No the narrative is that this happens and men are conditioned by society to believe that the only thing they need to contribute to a relationship is a paycheck, and while that was widely accepted 100 years ago when wouldn't count get a job.. now women work just about as much as men do and are still expected to do all of the domestic labor as well. You've seen all the men talking about wanting a tradition woman... you know what that mans right? There is only so much a person give before there is nothing left. You blame women for marrying a man who ends up refusing to contribute to the household in a meaningful way, instead of holding the men who expect their wives to act like domestic slaves accountable.

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl "now women work just about as much as men do and are still expected to do all of the domestic labor as well" no they aren't. not generally speaking and by the "modern man". there's conservative men that expect women to do the household chores but those typically don't also expect the woman to have a full time job and arer typically willing to fill the breadwinner role.

women aren't expected to have a full time high profile career and do all the chores and rise children. that is just not true. that's a fabricated reality that feminazis use for their narrative. this is not an accurate picture of greater societal tendencies.

[genericname85]

and yes, i blame you if you marry a completely deadbeat bum that doesn't help in the household at all. you are free to not get with such a person.

[genericname85]

i do not buy the narrative that men typically pretend to be modern and share chores but then end up not doing shit while expecting her to do everything. that's a misandrist distortion of society and i condemn you if you're "really" trying to make that point.

[Subarugirl]

I see that reality every day...

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl i'm not intending to insult you with this. but your eyes see what you look at.

[genericname85]

and what you look at is never a complete picture of the realtiy of things. like i've witnessed a lot of women who fool men into parental obligations by fucking them intentionally "forgetting" birth control with the intention to bind the man to them. that's what i see a lot. i still wouldn't ever conclude that this is "what women do" generally speaking.

[Subarugirl]

That’s exactly right, just because you don’t recognize an issue doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but you’d have to blind not to recognize that society still expects women to do the majority of emotional and domestic labor in heteronormative relationships

[genericname85]

@Subarugirl feminazis propagate the standard for women to be a ceo and a caring family mother. not normal men and women. men certainly don't expect women to have a high profile career AND do the entire household AND care for the children. society as a whole does not do that, no. and just to be clear: what's shown is not to be confused with a social realtiy.

the social reality is that the male breadwinner model is running out because inflation has decreased household buying power over the years and women tend to work part time to compensate while chores are shared between both marital partners and the child rising duty is mostly externalized/deligated to schools/daycare institutions. that is the "social reality". not this feminazi bullshit that paints all men to be misogynist assholes.

[genericname85]

what's shown in the media***

[Lionman95]

I can understand both of sides. I think many women have given up on it because they´ve been the feelings guys that such actions of kindness were taken for granted and not appreciated.
If you do something for someone and he never shows that a sign of gratitude I think it´s likely that you give up on it.
I personally like doing myself but I would try to show a woman my gratitude if she did something like that for me.

[NamerOfStars]

I'd guess because they feel unappreciated, or more likely, have thought that the gesture is INHERENTLY unappreciated, and so ignore it, losing one of the best (and easiest!) chances to please their man.

I think a lot of people these days ignore a lot of easy ways to make their lives more pleasant out of unspoken, theoretical resentment.

[msmissydc]

If you like to do it than no one should stop you from it. The only think I wouldn't like if it would be expected of women. On the other hand, if someone has something against women who dont do it that is the same problem. Free choice here is important!

[Haha456]

Maybe because you're just a "misogynistic woman" yourself?

why do i need to serve him food? why can't he serve me food? you dont think its fair for him to cook for me as well?

sexist bitch, you probably also say that only women should do all the cooking in the house as well so men do not need to know how to cook.

[Gloree]

Hey, read the words. I didn't accuse every woman. I didn't say they are wrong. Neither did I say it was the woman's duty.

I just said I can do such things for love and not because it is an obligation.

I just pointed out that some women frown at everything they do for a guy. They are always on the defensive as if it is a spelt out slave master thing.

[Haha456]

@Gloree

I swear to god, the number of misogynists on here is ridiculous.

Just a few days ago, I came across another guy on here who said men shouldn't need to know how to cook because women should only be the ones cooking for their man.

how much dumber can this get?

[Agagagagaga]

Someone’s got some sand in her vagina 😂

[grega239]

Ufff someone's triggered

[Haha456]

@grega239 @agagagagaga

I wouldn't say im triggered. Just another excuse to roast your asses. Its not like I take you seriously. Most men on earth aren't like that.

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 I agree that there a lot of misogynist on here, but I don't think she is one of them. If I'd be happy to cook and clean if the woman I am with is bread winner. But if a guy makes most the money and his girlfriend is just a Grocery bagger and the man's a surgeon, how is it sexist to give house work duties. I mean if she's bringing in more money and busting her ass off I wouldn't mind doing that.

My friend broke up with a girl that thinks like you. He bought the house, paying all the bills to give her a better life. All She did was just sit on Facebook all day and when he asked her to do some cleaning she would say "oh, it's sexist to expect a woman to clean" just like how you are. I feel bad for your boyfriend, but I respect the fact that you know how to get what you want.

[grega239]

Where's the roast?

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

you're just looking for excuses.
I dont know what gave you the impression that its stay home wives who claim they shouldn't be doing all the housework cuz its sexist. Vast majority of women nowadays are working women.

Vast majority of mothers are working women. Most of us do not have the luxury of sleeping all day at home. And most of us women aren't interested in the idea of relying on a man for food. We work to support the family, help you pay bills so you can have extra money to go to your baseball game, pay for children's expensive college tuition.

Secondly having our own stream of income gives us freedom. If you don't like begging your wife to buy your favorite video game, then what makes you think women like begging their husbands to give them money to get their nails done?

Housewives are outdated, unaffordable, and struggle to exist anymore on a societal scale.

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

it is sexist to expect vast majority of us WORKING WOMEN to have to finish a 8-9 hour shift then come home to continue cooking, doing most of the housework, childcare. And this is the reality of the modern-day woman, it is always the woman taking time off of her job to take care of the kids. It is always the woman sacrificing her job for the kids. In vast majority of households, it is women who STILL DO majority of the housework.

By the way, you're clueless if you think a surgeon will marry a grocery bagger. Nowadays, male doctors are marrying female doctors instead of nurses. Do you really think someone who has dedicated 30+ years of his life to his studies would marry someone who isn't smart enough to even get accepted into college?

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

I live in one of the richest cities in the world, NYC. Plenty of millionaires and billionaires here. These rich couples are usually very educated men and women who hire nannies, babysitters, maids, cleaners. If a husband is rich, he would rather hire a maid to do all the housework rather than have his stay home wife to do it.

[Gloree]

@Agagagagaga what does that mean

[Agagagagaga]

It means someone has some sand in their vagina.

🤷‍♂️

[Haha456]

@Agagagagaga

Sounds like you just have a stick up your ass.

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 I am not saying she be Obedient or slave to me. I'll cook and clean every now and then. But what's wrong with her supporting my success. I don't understand why being nurturing and being supportive is frowned upon. A doctor needs his nurses they're not useless. Why do women feel like femmine is so shameful? Why does society tell women they need to be more like men or she is nothing. I think it's sexist for me to expect her to obey me, but not to expect her to help around the house that I pay for. And I'd prefer a woman who works, but if she's making most of the money, you damn right I am going to cook and clean. Just like how if your man is busting his ass all day running a business you should be supportive of his success.

[Agagagagaga]

@haha456 Are you an authority on shoving sticks up asses? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised. Most of the people on this site are degenerates. Why should you buck the trend?

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

I , myself, want to be a mother. Its one of my biggest life goals. As a person, I am kind, very sweet, nurturing, caring, compassionate. By profession, I am a nurse. Very high earning nurse. I would love to be a stay home mom for a couple of years after my kids are born. But I can't imagine doing it for the rest of my life. I can't imagine doing nothing else but washing dishes, washing clothes, sitting in the kitchen, sitting in an empty house waiting for my kids to come back from school everyday for the rest of my life. Isn't that a very dull boring life?

I am a learner, doer, explorer. I want to meet new people, take on new challenges so I can grow as a person, I want to make a lot of money. Its very sexist when its acceptable for a man to want a rich lifestyle but its unacceptable for a woman to want riches. At the end of my life, I want to have overcome challenges , met all the people I ever could, learned everything I possibly can. I want young people to respect me for my knowledge, wisdom and expertise. By the time I am 60, I want to be able to mentor young people. why is it that when a man wants these things, there is no problem. But when a woman wants these things , she is always ridiculed?

we still don't live in a world where women get equal treatment.

there's more to life than just being a mother. My life does not stop once I become a mom. My desire to learn explore will not stop once I become a mom.

I was raised by two full time working parents. My mother and father were both career men and women. They worked very hard to raise my brother and I into decent, professional educated adults.
My parents nurtured and cared for me the same way any other parent did.
Plus, you can be a sexist and insist that you want a housewife all you want. But there is a good chance you will never be able to ever afford one.

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

you're so fucking sexist that you don't think a woman can work and yet be a nurturing mother. My mother was the best mother on earth, yet she worked a full time job so that she could have enough money to pay for my college. You're just nothing but sexist stereotypes.

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 now you're just putting word in my mouth. I just said "I want a woman who works" wtf are you talking about. And I also mention "a woman shouldn't obey me" and I also mention "a woman shouldn't be a slave to a man" why are making up nonsense and trying to gaslight me now? I also mentioned if a woman makes more money than me I would happily cook and clean. I never said anything like that. Wtf are you saying? You're nuts. If a woman in the relationship is more nurturing than the man and wants to be supportive and compliment the man in the relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. If a woman is more practical and the man is more nurturing and supportive of his wife's, there's nothing wrong with that. Actually now I am starting to think you believe every man or woman who has an oppressing opinion is a sexist. Considering you're trying to gaslight me and call me a sexist. I have a high respect for women I'd would never disgusting like "a woman shouldn't work" my mom work hard for me and I love respect. So don't call me a sexist. You don't know shit about me.

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 my mom is a nurse practitioner in NYC and I love and respect the work that she did for me. So fuck you.

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

[ I don't understand why being nurturing and being supportive is frowned upon. A doctor needs his nurses they're not useless. Why do women feel like femmine is so shameful? Why does society tell women they need to be more like men or she is nothing. ]

You implied that a woman can't be feminine or nurturing if she is a working woman. I am a working woman, and I AM feminine and nurturing. what gave you the impression that you can't be nuturing as a working woman?

why is "wanting children" a feminine goal? 90% of the guys that I know , all want to eventually have children.

why is staying home purely a feminine ideal? I know plenty of lazy men who don't want to work jobs and rather stay home. but they never do it because they know society would ridicule them.

doctors are marrying doctors nowadays. they're not chasing nurses. Doctors in the 1950s used to marry nurses because there were barely any female doctors. Now in modern day, female doctors are a dime a dozen, they're everywhere. Dont think a male doctor will prefer to marry an idiot when he can marry a genius.

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 Wow and you're a nurse. So retard lol. I said I don't understand why society makes women feel bad about being femmine. You get it? I think it's good that people feel about who they are as a person. No should ever feel ashamed about wanting to be a house wife or a careers. I guess wanting women to feel comfortable with who they are and what they choose to do in life "misogynist" to you 🤣. Omg you probably work in one of those shit hospitals in the Bronx with 1 star rating. Are you confusing what I am writing with the other guy or something I don't know how you even think I am misogynist. All I am saying there is absolutely nothing with being femmine or a career woman. I prefer a woman who works. I don't want a woman who acts like a princess and I have to always kiss her ass and say something good about her all the time. I like women a sense of humor not to make laugh, but so we can poke around a playful. I don't like a princess who takes everything up the ass and gets offend by every she doesn't like. Women should never be a slave. Women should never obey a man. She has free choice to do as she pleases. Whatever you want.

[Haha456]

@MaxRobespierre

you can deny it all you want but this :

][ I don't understand why being nurturing and being supportive is frowned upon. A doctor needs his nurses they're not useless. Why do women feel like femmine is so shameful? Why does society tell women they need to be more like men or she is nothing. ]]

proves your true stance on women. you think all career women are like men and are lesbians who are afraid of being feminine. you think all working women are unfeminine, cannot be nurturing.

this paragraph was what pissed me the fuck off.

its misogynistic to insist that women should stay home or say condescending shit about working women.

women have right to choose what they want to do with their lives. we don't need a misogynist like you telling us that all women with careers are lesbian or don't want kids or are unfeminine or can't be good mothers.

I had a working mom and she was a damn good mom. I love my mom

so shut the fuck up

[MaxRobespierre]

@haha456 you're a retard. You don't know shit. I'm done wasting my time with you.

[Oigit]

I don't think its required and I think some women lose it over the idea due to them being convinced it's required. Also in general I'd rather get my own food. Simply because I know how much I want and I know how much salt and pepper I typically use on my food.

[motownplayer2000]

Because society is telling women that that’s sexism and that they don’t need to be doing that, while pushing men need to be doing everything for women. Truth is both parties need to serve each other. Whatever that looks like it’s up to the couples and the individuals in the relationship

[TheUniqueOne96]

Because those women probably view traditional roles as sexist, when in reality they want men to be traditional without doing their own part.

There's nothing wrong with simply being nice to your partner and I bet some of the women that complain about that, fail to understand that it takes two to make it work.

[Bee-Hatch]

Ok that's your choice, if you like it, great I hope you're fulfilled. For many of us we've other stuff to get on with like raising kids, keeping the home in check while maintaining a full-time job. Haven't got time to be serving a fully functional adult.

[Mia-Wallace]

It's not a rule for us but I work less thus I cook. There are exceptions when I am extremly busy with a project, and he doesn't mind at all.

And yes, I love to cook for my guy. It's even lovlier, however, if he rewards me with a kiss or a little more.

And yes, I think this stigma and "frown" is just an ideological BS to make lives yet more complicated and depressive than they already are.

[Dinklex3]

Because most of them do have hands and they do have legs, lol.

People show love in different ways.

I dont think most women mind, i think people just don't want others to think it's owed to them.

I already share my opinion on the other post. I don't mind serving.

[dustybiker]

We all choose our own ways to live. My home is all shared. If something needs to be done and the person who sees it first is able, it gets done. Meals are all helped to cook, serve each other and clean up.

[HighValue]

If one person works and supports the other, that other non-working person should do much more of the stuff at home, whether that is cooking, or other stuff.

For the people that say it should be 50/50, then they should be timed and have to do 40 + hours of work at home too.

[Chazmatazz269]

If that’s all true, I’m certain you’re a rare woman. So rare that it’s difficult to believe. I’ve never in my life met such a woman.
Generally, if a man is happy it’s considered a bad thing because it’s proof of the patriarchy. Ell oh ell!

[Lliam]

I think it's really sweet as long as he doesn't come to expect or demand it or take if for granted.
It shows that she has nurturing instincts and loves to please the man she loves.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Whoever cooks the meal, serves it.

Whoever has been served the meal, cleans the dishes afterwards.

That's not patriarchy, that's just good manners. If I've invited a date round to make her a home cooked meal, I'm not gonna point at the kitchen and say "there's your food, you've got legs..."

[Anonymous]

Yeah--I think there's a super toxic strain of what for lack of a better word I'll call "feminism" which basically seeks to re-direct a woman's natural inclination to nurture away from where it's typically directed (her family) and towards other pet causes. That's almost always a bad trade for the woman. But it's part of the rise in all of the "toxic compassion" that we're seeing leaking out into the public sphere.

[Subarugirl]

Nothing pushes a woman away more than having to become a mother and caretaker for someone who is supposed to be her partner.

[Roseboy]

whoever cooks the food should just serve the food too

surely thats just normal right? that's what always happens when i visit friends or anything

regardless of who it is cooking; man, woman or any other; whoever cooked should also serve it

[Subarugirl]

The issue with that is while women work just about as much as men, on average they do the majority of the domestic work aswell

[Roseboy]

i don't see what that has to do with me saying whoever cooks should serve the food
i know that, its the case in my house
well not anymore since I do most of the domestic work instead of either of my parents but still

[VanessaValentine]

Some girls are bitches

some guys are douche bags

that’s the way the world spins.

[TheFlak38]

Because society tells them this is sexism. Women have no opinions of their own. They must always follow what the system tells them is trendy and socially acceptable.

[FilmGuy93]

A lot of western women associate being "submissive" with being a maid and they've heard the horror stories from decades passed when women were effectively servants for men who would run off and leave the woman impoverished

[awwazraa]

That mostly depends on the circumstances. There is nothing wrong if a woman wants to do that their for their man , provided he treats her with that respect. In a relationship duties have to be spilt 50/50 . Often at times it isn’t followed and this is when things take a turn. It’s not right if a woman is expected to serve their men as their duty , otherwise nothing wrong in it.

[_deeznuts]

lol i just put the food on the table he's a grownass man, he can serve himself. It's not just that but sometimes I don't know how much they eat and I end up putting too much or too little.

[MaxRobespierre]

You sound like a lot of fun.

[_deeznuts]

i am thank you chad

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Because you are not all women and not all women are you.

Congratulations. You are a sentient person with your own distinct preferences.

[Adronicus]

If the men knew what to do in bed they wouldn't be treated like that.

[Anonymous]

I always serve the Master of the House first, he gets first dibs on everything, then the Lady of the House, then I get to pick at whatever's left. Nobody eats until he begins eating, then her, then the rest of us.

[Gloree]

This is not a good one

[Opinion Owner]

It's part of our protocol which is part of our lifestyle choices. I am there willingly.

[SenseiSeptred]

Depending on the situation, I more than likely would be the cook of the family as a husband. She would more than likely need to get used to weird food combinations, but that is a big part of being with me.

[driven159]

The only person that is important to you is you and your husband it doesn't matter what people think it's what makes you happy and what you like to do

[LimitedBenefits101]

Very good question but the feminist hate such question and specially if it asked by a woman LOL

[maximumpower]

Had a spouse with a crappy attitude like that.
Seems the only time she was interested was payday.
Now she pays her own way and I enjoy my meals.

[andreasderjuengere]

Who are these ''many women'', I wonder.

When giving and receiving is at a good balance - no one has a reason to frown.

[Vegasrunner]

I would say because men tolerate this behavior. Most guys rarely speak up when women are being disrespectful, allowing women to get away w/ this attitude.

[altaboy]

I think they're concentrating. That's what I do! "Don't drop the mashed potatoes! Don't drop the mashed potatoes! Don't drop the mashed potatoes!"

Silently to myself, of course!

[TheSpaceGnome]

I agree, and I'd be happy doing the same for her.

[007kingifrit]

they've been poisoned with ideas that it's more important to be independent than anything else. happy people aren't independent

[KrakenAttackin]

Because these women have no idea how to get/keep a man.

[grega239]

That's true. Men have hands and feet and can do it ourselves... the door is that way

[exitseven]

I like getting waited on once in a while.

[Iron_Man]

They should be happy

[Anonymous]

Because he lets her get away with it.

[Subarugirl]

If he wants a maid an cook then he should hire one lol

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl he should just stay single rather than have someone in his life who demands special treatment and then refuses to show any gratitude.

[Opinion Owner]

Or find someone who knows how to treat a partner.

[Subarugirl]

What would she have to be grateful for? Having a job and cleaning up after yourself is the bare minimum of being a contributing member of society. Your wife is your partner, not your mother, or your maid or your cook lol
A man that knows how to treat his wife or girlfriend doesn't treat her or expect her to act like a domestic slave.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl "What would she have to be grateful for?" - that right there is why I'll never get married again. Women don't appreciate good men, so men need to preserve the right to walk away when we're taken for granted.

[Subarugirl]

That wasn’t a redundant question… besides a having a job like any functional member of society, what would you contribute that someone should be grateful for?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl @Subarugirl I laid tile in the living room and hallway myself, saving four grand in labor, in five days. I reroofed our entire house myself in a week, saving eight grand, I've fixed her car, saving her at least a grand. I cook in five different languages. I not only clean up after myself, I help with the more intensive housework. I do the lawn work. I do all the heavy lifting. And I pay all the bills except her car and insurance.

But that's just a bunch of stuff men are expected to do. Nothing worthy of respect or appreciation

[Subarugirl]

Those are all admirable accomplishments. But here is the thing, if you both own the house your not helping with house work your just doing your part and doing your part shouldn’t be something special it should be the standard

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl I already know that, obviously. And thank you for proving my point

[Subarugirl]

You were the one who said you were helping with the housework. I didn’t prove your point I’m asking about why you made the point you did, that chip on your shoulder isn’t helping

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl my point was that women have absolutely no respect or appreciation for good men. My point is also that we need to respect ourselves enough to say goodbye to people who won't do something simple when you ask. Don't walk ten miles for someone who won't take two steps for you.

"You have arms, get it yourself" should be answered with "goodbye". I used to say that you should talk about it, but experience tells me that it doesn't work in the long run. A person who doesn't appreciate you doesn't deserve your time or effort. So now I just walk.

[Subarugirl]

I love, respect and appreciate my father, my husband and my father in law they are genuinely honorable and good men, the issue is that have have men way more terrible men than good honorable men. However honor and respect are things that are earned. Having a job, or picking up after yourself or knowing how to cook doesn’t make you honorable, being honorable is in how you treat others, it’s about having integrity, it in your ability to be empathetic and listening to someone when they tell you what they need.

[Opinion Owner]

@subarugirl all that is true. But you really only said it as a rationalization for not respecting a man enough to serve him a plate of food. My thinking is that if you don't respect him, you shouldn't be with him. And he should have enough self-respect to understand that a woman who refuses to do those little things shouldn't be in his life.

Would you stay with him if he didn't do the little things that show thoughtfulness and respect for you?

[Wise4myage]

Feminist.

[jimmy2]

It's a way to join him