I'm dating 2 guys and I don't know who to pick?

[Anonymous]

I love guy A and I am interested in guy B. Guy B treats me better than guy A but they both come from completely different backgrounds. Guy A is damaged and we have history, guy B comes from a secure background.

I got into this situation because things ended with guy A and I met guy B straight away. Guy A came back (I told guy A that I met guy B and he wants me to leave him).

I don't know what to do... on the one hand I am in love with guy A but I don't feel completely safe with him. On the other hand, I don't know guy B very well yet but he seems like a good guy...

Updates

+1 y

I’m going with guy B.

Guy A really pushed me over the edge today and I really can’t do it anymore. Guy B treats me like a princess. He’s so respectful and leaves me with no doubt.

[bennies_819]

Let me just say first of all you should not be dating two guys at once unless you're just dating and not exclusive first thing I like to say that guy A is not good for you you need to leave him and take him out your life completely he's not good for you and you just explain to us and to yourself but he's not a good guy.

On the other hand the guy B seems to be doing much better than guy A so you need to give guy a chance to just because you don't know a person does not mean that they're not going to be good for you and who knows both of them could not be good for you but you should be dating for the right reasons not for the wrong reasons if you're just dating because you're lonely then that's not a good reason to go and date someone cuz you'll be hurting their feelings or end up hurting your feelings in the process or both give guy B a chance and if it doesn't work out go date somebody else it isn't my one guy thinks you should not let a man control your emotions and all control your life and what you do with it I learned that the hard way in my ex-boyfriends and neither of them will go for me none of them I have self-worth more than I had when I was with them in a better off without them.

[Screenwriter]

Here's your line: "I don't feel completely safe with (Guy A)."

This doesn't mean that Guy B is the answer. But don't ever expose yourself to someone you fear or don't feel safe with. The red flag is HUGE here. You broke up with him for a reason. Forget about this "in love" stuff. LOVE IS BLIND!!! Use your rational head.

Mourn your loss of the "love" you've felt for this Guy A. Embark on a relationship with someone who you've clearly said, "treats me better."

Someone who treats you badly and who you don't feel safe with is a bad bet. Move on. Get this bad actor out of your life. Anyone who TELL YOU TO BREAK UP with someone else is threatened. He knows he's flawed. You don't need damage. Be happy, safe and well treated.

[Lionman95]

Cut off person A for your own security especially if he´s damaged and you don´t feel safe around him that should be a warning flag to you. Because the longer relationship goes the higher are chances that you spend time with him completely alone.
If you don´t feel secure in such a situation you shouldn´t him now matter your feelings because some decisions require to put facts over feelings and as sad as it is there are guys that don´t treat a woman the right way and therefore would put you in danger.
I don´t know either of them what you describe makes me think that Guy A would rather put you in danger than Guy B and that what should count to you more.

[Th3ft]

I would suggest guy B! Even if you can never fully commit to him and decide later that you can feel safe around guy A again you should by far treat yourself with the respect of keeping safe rather then loving on a guy who just can’t give it back… like you dumped guy A for a reason!

[Th3ft]

Good for you girl!! You deserve some serious love!

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[Th3ft]

Ha! And thank you! I like getting MHOs!!

[Asker]

You're welcome!

[Pinay_ako]

Leave them both. Just start fresh. Too much drama. The right guy will come along without all these complications.

[Rose_84]

Go with guy A because it's obvious that you love him. If you just going with guy B for safety, then you won't be happy with B.

Looks like you're really attracted to guys who make you ride emotional rollercoasters. You'll get bored of guy B.

Go with guy A. You'll end up hurting guy B because if you really loved guy B, you wouldn't have allowed guy A to come back!!!

Let guy B have a girl who understands him for who he is and someone who will love him more than a Fboy.

Guy B deserves better. Why will you give half ass love to guy B when 80% of your heart belongs to Guy A?

[BlackBeauty90]

@itsalyssaagain... So you have to choose between a deadbeat loser you have a history with & a decent guy you just met.

Seriously WHY do the more dimwitted women cry when they're abused, treated like shit, etc. when THEY set themselves up to be abused, cheated on, etc.

I mean even a 5 year old child has better comprehension than such women.
Rarely, if not almost never, does a child keep hanging around with other children who treat them poorly when they meet children who are better/treat them better.

[Rania05]

Talk to guy B about your relationship history and see his attitude after careful communication, if his response is mild tell him also about guy A coming back and your confusion, if his reaction is intense leave right away after confiding you're not suitable to him.

That's it's your choice to make, but not your right to hurt anyone by making things convert.

Be clean and cut in emotional matters.

[Rania05]

Congratulations 👏
I hope you can always stay happy

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Gloree]

Hi, get to know guy B. Tell guy A to go. Break it off. U guys broke up for a reason. Don't go back to your vomit. Listen to that wise saying. Vomit is stench and disease and disastrous and unattractive and repulsive.

Get to know guy B. Learn to be decisive. I hate indecisive people. They cause trouble for themselves and their loved ones. A word is enough for the wise.

[Asker]

The indecisive thing you said is me to a T

[Gloree]

The ist step to change vis realizing u need it. Now u can get on tract by just stopping to be that way.

[Asker]

Yeah hopefully

[slatyb]

The answer is likely "none of the above".

Guy A isn't ready for a relationship. You may love him, but he's not loving to you. You can't fix him. You need to end it, but you knew that, right?

How do you really feel about Guy B? Sure, he's nice but are you attracted? It sounds like you really aren't. That's ok, there are plenty of nice men. Nice is normal. There are some very nice men that you will find attractive.

[atiquahbby]

Do you love A to the point where you are willing to let go of / sacrifice a lot of things for him? If so then go for guy A.

If not, go for guy B as he seems more stable. Do they know that you're dating them at the same time?

[Asker]

Only guy A knows

[atiquahbby]

I think guy B should know that guy A is in your life again, or else he may be misled by the whole thing. I would deffs suggest take some space out from both of them, just for a couple of days, do other things and then think over this again from a fresh perspective, you'll find it easier to decide form there- good luck :)

[Asker]

I know what you mean but I don’t want to scare guy B

[atiquahbby]

Do you want to dm me about this? I can have a chat and maybe offer some advice if you'd like :)

[Asker]

Thank you girl. It’s alright me and guy A are done x

[atiquahbby]

No problem sis, so glad you came to that conclusion.
Good luck :)

[Anonymous]

Simple, the answer is guy C.

You presumably ended things with guy A for a good reason so he is out of the running.

You are also not ready for a new relationship which means guy B is out of the running too, sure you could pretend that you can circle back to this when you have had time to process your feelings etc but in reality the moment has now been lost and it is unlikely that that would happen.

Conclusion : Guy C.

[brezzybaby]

I feel like maybe if your going to pick one you should at least get to know them a little bit before you go jumping the gun. People can put on good fronts and tell you what you want to hear just to get you and then... Poof he's a murderer? You get what I'm saying

[EndGame55]

Either way. You'd better choose quickly. I mean if the circumstances were different you might would have more time and could leisurely date multiple men as long as they were aware. But this one where love is involved. Might be life changing. Guy A could never stop loving you. Even If he has to let you go. If he actually loves you. If you're afraid of him. It might not be love on his part. Could be obsession.

[Twalli]

The way I see it, the issues with guy A are not gone. Therefore even if you do leave guy B, you leave what may be a good relationship for one that already has unresolved problems. I guess it depends on whether or not you see yourself as "in love" with guy A. If you had to choose now, would you consider marrying him? If you can't see yourself marrying him then go for guy B.

[Anonymous]

And I take it Guy B has no idea about Guy A right?

I feel sorry for Guy B because you admittedly love the asshole Guy A. My guess is you will completely go back to Guy A and try to friendzone Guy B.

[Opinion Owner]

I am glad you made the right decision.

Now you are going to have thoughts about guy A but remember what happened today.

[Asker]

Very true

[LexiXide]

I suggest you take guy B. you better get rid of 1 of them or you'll lose both

[LexiXide]

I think you made the right choice girl:)

[Asker]

Thanks girl

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Guy (A) will be a pain in your neck down the road. I understand you love him but it's probably one sided anyways.

It end for a reason with Guy (A)

Give Guy (B) a legitimate chance and see where it goes. Its only a upside for you especially when the guy treats you well.

[RealMarek]

I recommend running, not walking, away from Guy A and telling Guy B you want to be friends until you have time to get over Guy A.

[RealMarek]

I’m glad you chose the guy who treats you well.

[Asker]

Thanks

[Changiis07]

I think we are all rooting for guy B. You need to feel safe with someone. You shouldn't have to question where you stand with someone. You will know by their actions and if they so what they say they will do, otherwise don't waste your time

[Still-alive]

Your instincts are telling you guy A is trouble so youd better listen to that. Go for Guy B

[Still-alive]

Do you find guy b sexually attractive though? Curious.

[Asker]

Yes I do

[Still-alive]

Ok good cause i know some chicks will like the good guy who treats them like a princess but aren't truly sexually attracted to them go the point where they can actually imagine having sex with them.

[Asker]

No of course I’m attracted to him otherwise I wouldn’t date him

[Still-alive]

Ok good. I hope his sex appeal far outweighs guy A’s then

[Asker]

They don’t look alike but both are attractive in different ways

[Andres77]

tell A that you're still figuring things out. a big question for me is why did things with A end in the first place?

[Asker]

he's got issues that’s why it ended. But to him it never ended apparently

[Andres77]

well then he has no authority or right to demand anything. i know u already know this. ur a smart girl but i'm just reinforcing the point. especially if u don't feel safe

[quaranta]

Exactly, agree

[Andres77]

@itsalyssaagain
See?
She’s smart and she agrees with me…
Bottom line, you need to be safe.
I hope this all works out for you.

[Asker]

Thanks

[Truthatanycost]

While you waste your time with this, you are not finding yourself. This is just a distraction and you do not love either of them. Women never seem to learn from each others mistakes...

[fonduegirl]

Neither. A is damaged and B is just a good guy.

[vald9inches]

She likes them both though lol

[fonduegirl]

@vald9inches I know

[Still-alive]

I thought it was nice guys that had the issues not ‘good guys’ hmmm

[fonduegirl]

@Still-alive nice guy or good guy, he doesn't deserve to feel like second male lead of this love story just because the first guy came back

[fonduegirl]

@Still-alive and she shouldn't punish herself by throwing herself in the damaged guy's arms

[Still-alive]

ok cool that clears it up. the way you said 'just' a good guy sounded a teeny bit derisive

[fonduegirl]

@Still-alive sorry about that

[Asker]

Thank you. It’s both tough.

[Anonymous]

You're going to continue to have problems with guy A. Guy B you could probably grow in love with also. Guy B will always take care of you and cherish you. Who would you rather be with guy A. He would always treat you like trash.
Guy B will always treat you beautifully cherish you lavish you with many gifts. Guy B will probably give you breakfast in bed.

[Staximus]

You don't feel safe with guy A, time to pull your head out of your ass and leave him in the past. If you were only dating one guy at a time and not acting like the town tramp, you wouldn't have all these problems. Why do you feel the need to create all this drama in your life? Are you filming a shitty tv show?

[AviatorTom]

Put together a list of pros and cons for each guy, and see which one comes out better. Based on what you put in your post, you may find out that guy B is the better guy for you.

[yucel_eden]

Guy B.


I know your history. Forget Guy A, move on.


He’s outright abusing you

[Asker]

Can I be real... you remind me of guy A. You guys are distant, closed off, difficult to open up and emotionally connect with. But when you do, it's deep.

[Asker]

Also you're both very determined to make something of yourself and you work very hard.

[Asker]

Also you both have attitude

[yucel_eden]

I am not similar to your ex, I do not abuse women. There’s a difference between tough and dominant, and abusive. That guy has serious issues.

Go to guy B, choose someone better.

[Asker]

he's not abusive

[Aerissa_Jade]

Feeling safe would be my number one choice, can't be with someone I don't feel safe with.

[PeteBy]

My gut instinct is go with guy B. Clearly there's a reason why you're not with Guy A anymore.

[Anonymous]

NEITHER of them. Wtf. Learn how to be single. You don’t stay with someone who treats you like shit an you’re scared of, and you also don’t get into a relationship with someone you don’t love or even know!

[Mark987]

Go with your gut feeling. Which ever treats you better as a woman. You might care more for A but B might be the better choice. Do what you feel is right, but don't just jump on anyone, weigh your options.

[d3n0939]

you had to think of a B. It means you can end the A

[Browneye57]

Keep dating them and one or the other will reveal themselves as the better choice.

I am dumbfounded why anyone would date someone they don't 'feel safe with'.

[Browneye57]

On update...
And it won't take long and 'guy b' will absolutely bore you to tears. I can nearly guarantee it.
No woman is a 'princess'. And any guy that subverts himself to some 'princess' is instantly disrespected by her. The truth is, you're clueless about men and relationships. Oh well.

[LztutuIsCute]

If you can't decide, would you imagine yourself marrying Guy A?

[Asker]

I want to marry him but he has to ask me first

[LztutuIsCute]

Then wait for him when he's ready.

[20thGreatRomances]

Guy B sounds more promising and we all want what is best for us.

Good luck to you both!

[Lenell]

If you do stuff like that you're not good to date and you will have a lot of relationship problems i life.

[Gopnik]

I highly agree, not only is this demeaning to Both guys but it goes to show that she is incapable of being an independant person, something you should be before going into relationships. My solution would be drop Both and start again because this shit is not something you can sell to a guy, if she tells this to guy B and picks him not only might it make him feel like a second option but she feeds into the problem as if girls are allowed to 'pick' out of several options. You date 1 guy at a time or you date no one. Or get an open relationship. But this is very untrustworthy behaviour.

[dustybiker]

It’s easy. Imagine they both died. Who would you miss more?

[spartan55]

Of course you are 'in love' with the asshole... I can't see this ending well.

[YollyM]

I believe you should choose the one who loves you more and gives you the princess treatment.

[linka_pat307]

Just take a break from both and refresh your mind and compare according what you think ur partner should have and don't have

[ArtemisSilver]

Flip a coin or better yet make them settle it via a fist fight or duel lol

I'm sure you'll find a reason to complain about either choice.

[JSmuve]

Alyssa's been alpha widowed! Poor guy B.

What are you looking for in a relationship and which guy can provide it better for you?

[MysteriousDarkness]

You don't feel safe with guy A and it seems like you got with guy B too soon after breaking up with guy A. I say go your own qay.

[TammyVeracious_III]

Things ended with A so keep that ended. Give B a try!

[maximumpower]

Why pick either?
Play the field while you can.
Too soon will come the day when you no longer can.

[ElvenMr]

Worst advice ever lol.

[maximumpower]

@ElvenMr Not really. Obviously, you're a novice in the field.

[vald9inches]

Just keep dating both until you get to know guy b more! 🥰

[Bklynbadboy12]

Take your time you don't have to make a decision right now and if guy A doesn't like it then to bad. What situation did you get into because of him

[B4852]

Go with the guy who doesn't make you feel insecure with. Buy B. Especially if guy A doesn't make you feel safe.

[9inchestrong]

If you're dating both, you don't deserve either.

[OddBeMe]

Again, flip a coin, but dont look. you're prob hoping for one over the other.

[Theabcking]

I'd say pick the third option. Guy C is me and I am Sexier than both guy A and B.

[Anonymous]

Kind of feel sorry for those two saps...

[likelyOK]

When you say A is damaged how so?

[Asker]

can't communicate. Disappears. Anger issues.

[Cuminginside]

Ok let's go there, which 1 do U let cum/finish inside you? There's your answer.

[bean2k21]

[Amur8711]

Stay with guy B learn to know him better. Besides he is the one your with currently.

[Rangers]

Tell both of them that you're cheating on them and leave. You don't deserve either of them and they both deserve better than you

[YourToy69]

and the fucking? That's a main factor, isn't it?

[Asker]

Haven’t slept with either

[dolemite89]

whose hotter? 🤣

[Asker]

Both

[Wise4myage]

Go on dates with both, then flip a coin.

[Anonymous]

Why would you be dating two guys at the same time Maby break up with both

[Anonymous]

why don't you feel safe with guy A?

[Asker]

he's an asshole

[Opinion Owner]

how so?

[Asker]

He gets angry, only makes time for me when he wants to and things always have to go his way

[Opinion Owner]

everyone gets angry though and people do get busy in their lives and he might just want some organization and control over the outcomes and events in his life without everything being disorganized and chaotic

[Asker]

But I think in a relationship there has to be compromise and respect

[Opinion Owner]

you're right

[JohnK123]

Well that’s not good