What questions can you ask a man while on a date that will reveal his true character?
Questions like:
What would you think about dating a woman who makes more money than you?
What steps have you taken to improve your relationship skills?
What is your biggest weakness when it comes to dating and relationships?
His responses, reactions, mannerisms while addressing these questions, regardless of what his actual answer is will reveal a lot about who he is and where he’s at in life. Even if he hesitates or doesn’t answer these directly, even that in itself gives you some data to reflect on how to proceed with him, or if you want to at all.
What are some other questions you can think of?
Ladies, what qualifying questions reveal a man’s true character?
What 5 male characters from movies are your favorites and why? For each one, do you want to be like him and why?
I was motivated to say these because of what happened to me in 1988. Back then, I was in graduate school living with 2 other women attending a prominent STEM university in upstate NY. One was rather annoying and I don't want to discuss her. The other was rather attractive and also a hedonistic nymphomaniac. Astrologically, she was a "Cancer" and she definitely was representative of one.
Anyway, we were talking about movies and she had mentioned Scarlett O'Hara, the central character of "Gone With The Wind", and how much she admired Scarlett and wished she could be like Scarlett.
... and, indeed, she lived like that - she got the attention from the guys and definitely used us to satisfy her... needs...
But, when I heard she admired Scarlett, I knew this woman was dangerous and not to be trusted because she'd be selfish and manipulative. Not reliable or loyal like men need.
That said, she was full of love and does care for people - including me - and she was a good mother which was strong in her instincts.
Anyway, you can tell a lot about someone by finding out who they admire or who are their heroes.
Some men are very good liars. They know women fall in love with what they hear vs men who fall in love with they see.
I was never a good liar. I know it has likely costed me a few opportunities to get my foot in the door and/or get laid (with attractive women too). But when you start a relationship with a lie then you have to continue to think fast to cover your bs. Unless your a pathological liar it’s a lot of work.
However I’ve seen women “forgive” men for lying. That is the guy puts on a false front and establishes a connection with a girl. She starts catching feelings for him but she later finds out he was lying earlier. She thinks she can “change” him to be a more honest better man. So unfortunately his bs actually worked out to his benefit. Had he he been honest from the start he would of been immediately ejected and never gotten a chance. I HATE that but I’ve seen it happen several times in my life.
Anyway ladies it’s easy to want to trust and love what a man is telling you. But again talk is cheap.
Pay attention to his actions vs his words. That’s easier said than done (pun intended) but again you need to think twice when he tells you something you want to hear.
Unfortunately people can be rather convincing liars, especially when you don't know them well enough. I'll ask about previous relationships (if it seems appropriate but it's not too hard to make it appropriate) and about their friends and life in general. Something to pay attention to is them being a victim of everything. They're such a great and loving person and everyone and everything has done them some injustice. Another thing to pay attention to is how they treat others and how they interact with them and how they talk about others in general.
In general I ask questions where I learn about the person and their character but won't ask directly if that makes sense. Or I'll instead make the question into a conversation topic instead of directly asking.
In general it always takes time to figure out a person and until then everyone is an enemy playing nice and dumb in my book.
the best way to find out someone's true character is to give it time. Go through day to day life with him, see how he acts when you both reach certain obstacles or conflicts or disagreements. Its easy for anyone to lie. But actions speak louder than words.
I am currently seeing a guy who was the sweetest, bubbliest , nicest thing when I first met him. Now a month in, I'm seeing he is dishonest, a bit selfish and very very inconsistent. He denies it but remember : actions speak louder than words. Trust your own judgement, because if you marry the wrong guy , its your fault.
Trying to figure out if someone is compatible or worth your time... In a date is a waste of time. There are no tricks. It is a crap shoot. Men and women put in a show. The mating dance if you will. It's not real. It is unrealistic to think that there are magical questions to determine a person's true nature.
People men and women are consistent over time. What they do and not what they say will give you more insight. Testing them verbally or non verbally says more about you and your insecurities than them.
1. Good, then she won't ask me to pick up the tab and I can pay for my own damn meal without having to worry about anything.
2. It's already as good as it's going to get by me doing anything by myself, I need more dating experience. I already introspect hours upon hours every day so it is time for me to learn by doing.
3. I don't put my foot down soon enough, I have to be more selfish and stand up for myself rather than self-sacrificing for the sake of the relationship.
My experience is girls ask three questions. Usually indirectly but none the less they ask them 1. What is your relationship status (am I going to be the side chick here)? 2. What is your cash flow (what do you do for a living)? 3. What is your net asset backing (do you own your car/home)?
After satisfactory answers to all three, girls prefer to talk about themselves thereafter.
I don't mind that cause it means I don't have the pressure of making conversation.
In my opinion, only time reveals a person's true character. You can't know who someone really is just by asking questions on a first date.
However, you can ask open-ended questions on a first date to determine if you'd like a second date or not.
If a guy asked me those questions you've posted if run a mile 😂it's best to just let the conversation flow naturally. Keep it informal and not too personal on a first date.
I will rather observe. People have the capability to lie and mislead but they can't fake it forever.
Don't ask these uncomfortable interview questions as the guy who is afraid of commitment will go to great lengths to lie to you to get all the benefits.
The commitment PHOBIC guy will go to this extreme and say "I will marry you babe".
Questions like these should be instant red flags that the women is bat shit crazy. Actually had a women try this on a 1st date a couple months ago. I gave her the answers she needed to make her feel good, banged her and forgot about her. Advice like this is why so many women remain single. You may be able to get away w/ doing this if the guy is a Lake but for guys that are active and have experience these kind of silly questions we've heard for years.
You act like they’re trick questions. 😏 These are simple, straightforward questions to ask in order to get to know someone’s true self and to determine compatibility. Too many people spend far too much time with others they’re actually not very compatible with to start with. We’re too busy for that these days. Of course, nothing is going to be perfect and these questions should be well placed in a friendly abut conversational manner. Certain questions can filter out people you know you don’t want to be around, including men who have a problem being asked. Yeah, some won’t like it and I don’t care. In fact, if this were me, I’d rather know sooner or later that he has a problem with this so I don’t have to waste time dealing with him any further.
@MzAsh Later down the road, questions like this may be appropriate, however if a woman is asking questions like this on a 1st date it should be a clear indication that she has been hurt b4 and is operatiing from a postion of hurt, shame and fear. A 1st date, or any date for that matter should simply be a chance to create chemestry and set up an opportunity for sex to happen. As said b4 you may be able to get away w/ this w/ an inexpirienced man that doesn't know his worth, however any man w/ self respect is either going to end the date after the 2nd question, or do what I did, tell you want we know you want to hear, bang you then forget you. Think about it. I'm 6'2 former college athlete, I reported just under 7 figures in income last year and own multiple properties and vehicles. If I take time out of my hectic life to go on a date, I'm certainly not going on it to take a standardized test. As stated b4 your idea and concept are solid, your issues is that like most women, you only uderstand relationships from one side becasue society has tricked you into thinking that you have all these options when in reality the type of man they want is very rare. I'll give you some free game to help your business out. Here's how you should be asking these questions in order to attract the type of men women want.
@MzAsh 1. I make $ __________ per year, is that an issue for you? 2. My last relationship was __________ years ago and I've learned a lot since then, what have you learned since your last relationship? The weakness question I would leave out, because any human w/ common sense is just going to put that question right back on you, and women aren't good at discussing their weaknesses to men. Like I told the woman who did this after she text wondering why I never contacted her again. No successful person man or woman, wants to go out w/ a stranger for an interrogation. Keep the date light and fun, and as the relationship develops, you wll have time for more of these types of questions. Hope that helps.
My motivation behind this topic was because I’m eventually going to write a blog post of appropriate questions, and I think you and others have made some good points that I’ll include. I think you’re right that some questions may be inappropriate for the first few dates. You want to keep things light and fun, and any questions asked need to come through organically and conversationally. You don’t want to have them feeling like they’re being interrogated because that’s not the goal. The goal is to get to know them, find a connection and discover some character and personality traits and if you’re a woman interested in a long term relationship with a quality man, it’s wise to do this *before* sex happens as part of the vetting process. In a convo, you can look out for moments of opportunity and lead with curiosity, but stay away from heavy topics that could lead to an uncomfortable energy either for you or them. At best, one can learn how to direct a conversation with transitions but sometimes a moment of opportunity to touch on a particular subject won’t come regardless and you just got to leave it alone.
@MzAsh Agreed, only thing I would say is if you want the honest answer to these questions you should do it after sex. B4 sex a man is more likely to tell you what to hear. In fact a man is typically most honest immediately after sex. I'm not saying that should influence your decision of when to have sex, but you should probably tie those two closely together.
@MzAsh It's not that their "not qualified" It's that there's no real benefit to a man to be in a long term relationship. I'm sure you've heard this question b4. Besides sex, what's something tangible women bring to the table in a relationship?
Yeah it’s a question usually asked by guys who haven’t been around the right women, for various possible reasons.
A woman can bring a life partner to who complements his life, shares his time and companionship with, shares financial and household responsibilities, raises his children, intuition, compassion and empathy, takes care of him when he’s Ill and when he’s older, a woman who’s got your back in hard times and other times in need, loyalty and reliability, someone who encourages and challenges him to be the best version of himself.
@MzAsh It's a question anyone who has respect for himself should ask. I also noticed you weren't able to mention any "tangible" qualities outside of "financial" which typically falls on the man in relationships. All the other qualities you mentioned are intangibles that are things that are important to women. "Raising his children" those are her children so that's not an advantage to me. The fact that you're unable to provide a real answer should answer your question about why guys are reluctant to get tied down into relationships. What tangible things are in it for them?
@MzAsh So you're just going to ignore my question? Am I to assume this means you dont have an answer to what tangible things women bring to a relationship? You dont think thats odd considering you're attempting to provide relationship advice?
I didn’t ignore the question. You ignored that I said household responsibilities which is statistically proven to fall mostly on the wives in the relationship.
@MzAsh So now you've added dishonesty to the equation. I'll ask again what tangible things are in it for men? You claim you spend your time advising women attempting to help them yet seems like you're not able to answer the most important question that men have. If you dont even know what you bring to the table why would you be advising women on how to keep a man?
I’ve already answered your question with a list of things women can bring to the table, half of which any decent man is going to be lucky to receive and he’ll know it. Quality men aren’t going to be pestering a woman about this. You and I both know we’re not talking about the same type of men.
@MzAsh You've provided a list of intangible things that you believe that men should accept. You haven't provided anything tangible (I'm assuming you understand the definition of that word? ) If a man doesn't have the ability to articulate what he wants from the women that he chooses then how can he be of quality? Correct. You're talking about beta males that dont have any standards and are happy to get attention from any woman. I'm talking about the type of men women actually want. Please highlight to me on GAG where a woman is bragging about being w/ a subservient beta male?
@MzAsh TY for making my point. I asked you to highlight a woman a GAG bragging about a relationship w/ a beta. You claim that women should settle for betas yet even you yourself are embarrassed to admit that you had to settle for a beta male. You're unable to articulate your tangible value and you aren't even willing to accept that your own SOI is a beta. So seems like you're in agreement w/ my premise. I'm glad I could help educate you on this matter.
Any woman who wants to be happy in a long term relationship is going to have to have a man with key agreeable personality traits. Call it beta, call it settling all you want, but I don’t see you or anyone here like you who has the relationship success I have.
@MzAsh Of course not it sounds I've had more success than you. I can't speak for the other people on GAG but you certainly dont know me so your statement is more of an emotional outburst lacking any substance or fact or specific knowledge. The bar for men is quantity, and I've been w/ more women then %99 of men walking the earth. The bar for women is quality and you yourself said you dont have a quality man so you're the one thats failing. A better way to examine this is that no woman voluntarily wants what you have while every man wants what I have. That's ok if you're happy settling, but your bussiness model only proves that women dont want what you're selling. How long have you been w/ this beta man?
@MzAsh TY for sharing this. I'm actively teaching this to young men rn. When women dont like something they react in 1 of 3 ways. 1. Exceptions - No all Men Women 2. Equality - Men do it to 3. Personal attacks- Who hurt you Yours follows under #3. Which is usually followed by the fake empathy of "if you're Offended" Claiming that the exceptions to your belief are somehow flawed simply because they are the exceptions is known as circular logic. Notice how in one sentence you're begging women to lower their standards yet are bragging about a HV man settling for you. So which one is it? The late great Kevin Samuels did a fabulous job of explaining this. The #1 trait of a HV man is that he is seen as a man of value by other HV men so your characterization of him is irrelevant. In fact all you have done is validate how important it is for woman to retain men of value.
The bottom line is, I help women have happy long term relationships. If they want to be miserable in situationships with men like Kevin Samuels then I am not for them and they aren’t for me and I don’t bring them on.
@MzAsh Based on what you have said I dont see why they would even need you. Essentially your service provides things that the customer doesn't even want. Is this service for free or do you charge for this "service"
I definitely charge. They would find my help useful if they want long term relationships. I know you don’t understand what that entails because you don’t do relationships. You only sleep with women. The criteria is very different as there is a man’s sexual market value and relationship market value which are usually two very separate and different groups of men.
@MzAsh I understand your business, I just dont understand why a woman would pay you to learn how to get w/ an average guy any woman can do that. Also your business model doesn't seem to factor in men at all and they're the ones that control relationship. A womans sex value and relationship value is different but a mans is pretty much the same. The type of man that can have sex w/ multiple women is the same type of man that women want to be in relationships. Name me one young, athlete, actor, entertainer in the history of the world that has ever had trouble getting a relationship and I will stop this conversation immediately. I'll give you some free advice, you seem reasonably passionate about this subject, but dont let that passion blind you from reality. Businesses created at of spite rarely are successful.
While the men might be average economically, they are above average in their character. A man’s sexual market value and his relationship market value is absolutely different. Women want to marry and have babies with a man who is going to stay loyal to her and his family with her. The failure of a woman is committing to a man who isn’t loyal to her. Khloe Kardashian is a perfect example of this. Her naïveté and devotion to an unfaithful male has ruined her life. First with Llamar, now Tristan. She has zero self esteem or self respect. She starves herself and edits her photos into oblivion, creating all these different variations of a new identity and Tristan has cheated on all of them. It’s sad. And I want to help women avoid that.
Tristan, on the other hand, will never have a real relationship now. He is now and forever a baby daddy and that’s it. He can’t properly devote his time, attention, or resources to a deserving wife and kids because he’s now spread so thin. No self respecting woman will sign up to be in a relationship when those are the circumstances. Only women with no dignity such as Khloe.
@MzAsh Wow! TY so much for sharing this. Full disclosure TT played for us in H. S so did PJ Washington, the one that had a kid w/ the instagram ho. I bring that up because I know for a fact both of those guys have heard my speaches regarding women. You're anology kind of proves my point. the KK and all of them for that matter don't have any more value amongst HV men. They're known as pass arounds. TT has a lot of issues, but one issue he doesn't have is finding a women that wants a long term relationship w/ him which validates my point about a man's sexual and relationship value being the same. You comment fals under #2 Equality, you don't like the fact that there's a double standard in how women and men w/ high body counts are viewed so you've chosen to be dishonest, and pretend that u know something about something you don't. It just so happens you picked someone in my wheelhouse. I wish u best of luck w/ the business, but I don't believe any woman is paying you to hear that they should settle for average men, in fact if you could teach a women how to keep a man like TT then your business would have some value in my opinion. Even the anology you just shared disproves your point so why share it? Where can someone learn more about this alleged service? My instincts tell me it doesn't exsist and you're simply a frustrated women looking to bash men on SM. Are u referring to yourself when you talk about your negative expriences w/ HV men?
"TT has a lot of issues, but one issue he doesn't have is finding a women that wants a long term relationship w/ him"
Aka dumb girls that don't know how to categorize men properly. You can't turn a ho into a husband. They'll learn, eventually.
"you don't like the fact that there's a double standard in how women and men w/ high body counts are viewed..."
Correction, how *some* view body count. My man has never once asked me about mine. I would never date anyone who did, because I know what it reveals about their character, and it isn't good.
"if you could teach a women how to keep a man like TT then your business would have some value in my opinion."
There IS NO keeping a man who doesn't want to be kept. Like I said, you can't turn a ho into a husband. He's for the streets. No woman with brains wants a man who used to be community dick. That would be a bad, useless strategy.
"Where can someone learn more about this alleged service? My instincts tell me it doesn't exsist and you're simply a frustrated women looking to bash men on SM. Are u referring to yourself when you talk about your negative expriences w/ HV men?"
Some may be derived from personal experience, and some are from the experience of loved ones and those in my social circles. You can learn more: http://damesthatknow.com
@MzAsh #3 Personal Attacks - The girls are dumb because they're tangible evidence that contridicts your theory. Considering that the majority of women in the world are going to chase men exactly like TT are you saying that the majority of women are dumb? #2 Exceptions - Your man is only one person and his individual decesion in no way is a reflection of the majority of men. Also as you yourself have mentioned your man is average to everyone except you, therefore he is more likely to tolerate poor behavior because he has limited options. How many women was he with before settling for you? #3 Equality - "You can't turn a ho into a husband". This phrase is most comonly known as "You can't turn a ho into a house wife". You've reversed it as you attempt to search for equality. Reality is society doesn't respect persmiscus women for a number of obvious reasons. Society however glorifies permiscuses men, there's a reason why guys like Derek Jeter, are applauded for their off field roster as much as their on field play. There's a reason why someone like Beyonce as popular as she is stays with Jay - Z even after public knowledge of him cheating on her. there's also a reason why all men understand that he's going to cheat. This is an example of a clear double standard that benifits men, and women become vocal at those. Women however remain silent when the double standards that benifit them are pointed out. TY for sharing, and Validating my assumption. A lot of people make the mistake of believing their small circles represent, the general public and it looks like you may be doing the same.
@MzAsh And TY for the link to the site, I browsed it and did some research, and it looks like you're still in the start up phase and just recently receieved accreditation. I liked it and will definitely look to read more, as I always enjoy reading Women's POV's on relationship. On first glance it was what I thought it was going to be which is out of context relationship advice presented from a very limited POV. However one thing I liked is your encouragement of women to have an abundance mentality. So do you agree that men should also maintain an abundance mentality? Is is that one of the double standards you're reserving for women only?
When I say “dumb girls” I’m not saying it as a personal attack. I’m criticizing the behavior itself. It’s foolish for women to chase men like Tristan. Actually, it’s foolish for women to chase any man since women by nature are in higher abundance than men but it’s especially foolish for them to chase men like Tristan.
I don’t believe my man is a reflection of the majority of men, and thank goodness for that. He’s on a higher frequency that most men will never understand. He had one or two little girlfriends when he was in high school. But I’m his first real relationship. He’s had other options and I’ve seen them. Other women have hit on him and I knew about it, but he knows he has a great thing with me that he’d be a fool to let go.
Yes, parts of society glorifies male promiscuity and shames female promiscuity, and what has this resulted in? Misery and dysfunction. What reasons do we have to look to most of society as an example? Instead, we should be looking up to the exceptional few.
When it comes to business, yes I’m in the startup phase. I also do this part time, because the rest of the time I’m a copywriter at a local website and marketing firm which is also the host of my website.
In regards to abundance mentality, I think it’s good for anyone to have, men and women. However, women are particularly force fed scarcity mentality by our society when it comes to looks and fertility. We’re constantly being told life is over once you hit 30, which is a lie, and a dangerous one at that.
@MzAsh Unfortunately, I'm not able to judge your intentions, I can only respond to your actions, and you did say that they were "dumb". In fact you've been vocal in attacking women, who contridict your beliefs evident my your "foolish" comment. TT is 6'10, young, successful and has a networth of over 40 million $$$. Which puts him in the top 00000.1 % of people in the world, beautiful women are a dime a dozen, so he is in higher abundance. Based on what you have told me your man if a direct reflection of the average 80% of men and does not qualify as HV. He only had "2 little" girlfriend's in high and then got married to the 1st women that gave him attention becuase he thinks he can't get better. He may work for you, but in a room full of Alpha's he would be thrown out.
@MzAsh All of society glorifies male promiscuity, and shames womens for it. You said you were happy, I love that dynamic, and TT loves the dynamic, all my women love the dynamic, So what demographic is expirienceing the, "misery, dysfunction"? Start ups can be tough, I get it, and I understand that you're passionate about this subject, however it's difficult to run a business based on emotion. Researching that school, only a few receive accrediation as a "relationship coach" and half of them were failing, and u yourself, have had to keep a full time job while trying to turn a hobby into a business. You may want to ask yourself if your customers are actually passionate about this opinion. Some free advice, scrap this plan and throw it in the trash, it will save you tons of time and money. What you should do is release videos of your sessions where you attempt to convince women why they should lower their standards. I don't believe it will work, but I do think you will be able to tap into an audience for entertainment purposes. You're response to abundance shows a misunderstanding. women are not fed "scarcity" they are dosed with reality, based on what the customer "men" have demonstrated. Men value beauty, youth, and fertility, in a woman, AND THAT'S IT. I realize it hurts and women want to belive that "they're special (you don't know how many times a girl has tried to tell me that she has a dope personality.) but that's the truth, and every piece of evidence in human history has validated it. Is their 1 or 2 exceptions? (#2) yes, but if you line up 100 men and have another man ask them privately they will say the same thing. Please keep the dialog coming and I will make sure to read your site when I have time, becasue I believe your POV is fascinating. thanks.
If someone is being foolish then I’m going to call it out. It’s same way men call each other out for being simps, which is essentially what women who chase men do, they are female simps. I’m not that invested in the choices men make. I’m interested in the choices women make and what will lead to happiness for them in the long term. And the women who chase men like simps are ending up getting screwed over and coming to get help. We see it often here on GaG: “provider” husband lying and cheating, controlling the relationship and it’s not serving her.
I don’t believe in “alpha males,” at least not the way our society does. They ones who claim to be alpha and the ones who society claims to be alpha are unappealing to me, and I’ve passed on plenty, no thanks.
So, I choose to have my day job because I love it and at this point, I don’t think I want to coach full time. That may be partially an introvert thing, and I need a lot of quiet solitude to conserve energy, but I’m a writer first.
I don’t seek to “convince” women, especially those who aren’t at least willing to listen or cooperate. My job isn’t to convince. It’s to coach, consult, and empower.
I went through the coaching program to refine my actual coaching skills. Most known “coaches” in this space aren’t actually coaches. They’re advice givers, which is different. Coaches don’t just give advice, they hold space for people to come to conclusions on their own, take action on their goals, and hold themselves accountable. Coaches empower people to find and implement solutions within themselves instead of just telling them what to do. And I believe I have learned to do that.
The men who value “youth, beauty, and fertility and that’s it” are exactly the men I help women recover from. We’re not interested in those men. We’re interested in men who value women as partners, and yes they do exist and they’re amazing.
@MzAsh That's your perogative, I'm simply pointing out that on one hand you claim you're helping women, the next you're insulting them for having a different standard than you do. You want to lead women into relationship happiness, w/out having an understanding of what men want? How is that possible? You don't need to believe in "Alpha Males" you wouldn't be the one in the room, it would be your husband. Nothing wrong w/ keeping the day job. You literally told me in a previous post that "maybe I should be talking the women that you are talking to" So obviously part of your strategy is to convince women of your belief. You're in the service industry so this is not uncommon. I only saw three coaches from that school and one of them had already failed, You don't have to convince me about your ability to coach, the length of your business and customer base will do that for you. There are plenty of men that want partners, they just priorties youth, beauty and fertiltiy as they should. Men are the ones that control access to relationships and take all the risk, so anyman that doesn't have standards or self respect enough for himself to articulate them to a potential partner isn't the type of man that women chase anyway.
There’s a difference between what immature boys say they want and what matured men actually want and respect in a woman. To prioritize youth, beauty, and fertility is what immature boys think they want. But what they fail to recognize is that an adult relationship requires much more of him and of her than he realizes. This is why guys who say they prioritize youth, beauty, and fertility far above character traits and life skills will end up with a woman he can’t stand later on. And it’s the same with women who seek wealthy, high status men. It’s imperative this is understood.
@MzAsh The fact that you feel the need to namecall men who have standards shines insight into your own immaturity and character flaws as you yourself were unable to articulate what women provide to a high value man. It's also ironic that previously you claimed "I'm not invested in the choice men make" yet now you're attempting to tell me about the fate of men who have standards, how would you know? To believe that you can somehow improve someone's relationship outlook by only focusing on one half of the problem is absurd and may be the reason so many women in this space have failed. Why would a women need to pay you to end up w/ the same basic guy she could have gotten w/o you?
To say that calling out immaturity is “name calling” is quite a stretch. There’s nothing wrong with making the distinction between grown adults and other individuals with an underdeveloped sense of awareness, or juvenile standards between the awareness and standards that leads to long lasting and fulfilling relationships. It’s clear that many people need help with this, as many people have juvenile standards and outlook expecting their relationships to last, and most simply aren’t.
So glad I dont play this stupid bullshit mind game bullshit. If it doesn't come easy to me then it won't come at all. I will leave it at that. My only stupid mind game I play on a woman I am interested in and if I know she is interested in me is that I pretend I am poor even though I am far from now. That way I will know if she likes me for money or likes me for me.
This is hilarious. “Fuck you for your mind games, oh wait here’s one I play because reasons.” It’s interesting to me how some people get so offended any time I advocate for putting any type of thought or mindfulness to dating and call it “mind games.” These are straightforward questions. No lies or deceit. If you don’t want to answer them, fine, but don’t expect to get another date with a decent woman.
I don't think these are mind games. The point of date is getting go know someone. There's nothing wrong with wanting to know what a person is looking for in a relationship. A date is basically a interview to see if one another are a potential match. Men are also looking for qualifications as well.
It's a date, not a job interview. You go into it loaded up with questions, prepared to make your final assessment based upon his answers... I mean come on.
Keep it casual, everything comes out throughout course of conversation.
Indeed. I definitely think any questions you ask can and should be done so casually and organically. You don’t want to startle them with “how’s your steak? Mines great too oh by the way have you ever cheated on a past lover and why?” 😬😂
No never have cheated, but should of because my exwife didn't deserve it, she was a terrible person. But I stayed true, but not out of love. Let's say it was a morale obligation, didn't want to hurt my kids. Too scared of getting caught and her running off with the kids. Other that I totally would of, because she deserved it... she treated me like shit.
I advise ALL dads to take the guy out on a drive and JUDGE him by his driving habits at every situation. Driving habits and practices tell a lot about the person... more about his nature than his character. But a person's nature is just as important.
I reckon the only one that would reveal his true Character would be asking how many Girls he has been with before, If it's a low number or none there is better chance of him being a good Good Guy, If he has a high number chances are he is not going to slow down just because he has a Girlfriend.
While you're watching a movie together and an attractive actress appears on the screen, ask him, "Would you do her?" and squeeze his crotch to see if he's telling the truth.
Exactly. When a girl acts like a hiring manager, I call her a nosy ass bitch and walk out leaving her with the bill. On the other hand, if we're just two people and an insect farm, we can just talk about anything, like finding spaciousness between the things we typically define ourselves by and being free of the things that limit or narrowly define our existence.
I believe there’s a friendly and conversational way to ask questions that won’t make it feel like an interview, and that’s when you lead the conversation with genuine curiosity.
Behavior questions. Is/was he close with his grandparents. How does he react in an emergency. The off-the-wall “sounding” questions that give a great deal of intel into his character.
You should ask your date his solution to the train csr dilemma, if cysiphus is happy or not and his thoughts on if a ship with all it's parts replaced over time remains the same ship. That ought to do it.
That's an easy and seemingly clever retort, but it's really a strawman that begs the question. We're talking about 19-20 something "boys", and my point is, even a positive response has to be taken with a grain of salt.
@loveslongnails I didn't lack character or honesty or integrity at 20 years old... nor maturity
I would have never had a problem with such question
in fact I was around 20 years old and my girlfriend to be was 19 when she asked that same question
"could you live in a relationship without sex"
"would you be willing to be with me and love me for everything else while I am not ready nor willing to have sex"
she wanted my true and honest to answer to that, but not only the answer to that... it was only the start of a very long conversation and talk about that and other subjects around that one thing... and it lead to understanding and sorts of communication that are vital for any relationship that is going to be healthy and lead both to happiness and satisfaction
so yes... it can really reveal the true character of a person and their intentions towards you, believe it or not
@NathanDavis And how WONDERFUL for you! There's always "someone" who pipes up and says "that's not me.. that doesn't to ME." And again, my compliments on your character development. But again, it begs the question completely. The vast majority of 20 something year old boys do not fit into that category. And that, is my simple, so I thought, point.
@loveslongnails right... but the question was not about "how many 20 years old are honest or not"
so yes, thank you for your input that proves what true character is... and how not everyone has it, therefore... there are certain questions that could be asked to find out it
@NathanDavis MissPkira lists herself as 20 years old. Whom would she be asking this question of? I took it to pertain to her age group, that's all. One man's interpretation of the question at hand. Have a good night.
@NathanDavis I don't really know why you're lecturing this point, or me, any further. I understand the nature of question, and the responses. Ms Pkira's point. Whatever my personal answer would have been then is irrelevant to my point. You call it cynicism because of your personal, subjective viewpoint, but my assertion is based on the behavior patterns of boys that age - statistics.
Well just by your writing still I can tell you are probably a very educated person and think their right regardless. The point was never about me asking this question at all. And I said nothing about age. All that was said was this question would reveal true character. Even if we are considering age, then I think we can all agree that younger men lack character maturity. But immaturity is immaturity no matter what age and every man should be responsible for having a good character. I think you owe Mr. Davis an apology for your rude comments such as "How wonderful for you!" (Suggesting his personal experience is besides the point and invalid) and your comments about the logical fallacy of a "strawman" is really insulting considering I wasn't oversimplifying and making the argument any easier to attack. Rather the problem has a simple answer which Mr. Davis and I addressed. You aren't the only one that is educated to kindly think before you speak.
My comment was rude in your view, but it was to illustrate a point regarding "anecdotal evidence". It's all too prevalent here when someone wants to refute a point because they have no direct experience, or the opposite experience. Nor did I suggest that HIS personal experience was "invalid", but rather, that it has very minor bearing on my point about "20 year-old boys" in general, just as my experience, or yours, puts us on the rare side of the curve.
The strawman comment was for you, not him. You slung it because, in your opinion, my "sarcasm" which is based on facts, was somehow revealing about my "true character". Let's just say that it's been a provocative discussion, and maybe we all learned a thing or two.
That is direct experience on his part and yes I know that comment was for me. Even if his experience is rare... it still proves that men are capable of good character and not a lot of men have it.
if you refer to my anecdotical experience as less valid
and then you go on to present statistics... which are a collection of anecdotical experiences that are then subjected to mostly a biased interpretation
that is just desperate... lol
like I said... you went on with a very cynical approach to her answer and to my experience, because you decide to ignore us as the individuals in here, and you rather decide to focus on the statistics of all those allegedly 20 year old boys that are not mature or lack character and just to push your own point of view on others
that is the cynical part of it and rather a desperate one
so let's go ahead and address the point as individuals that we are
were you not honest and did you lack character and integrity when you were 20 years old?
are you not honest today and lack integrity and character today?
how about you participate with your actual input and real life experience for a change
@Pkira525 That's a bad question because men are only going to give you the answer you want to hear. Most of these questions highlight while women stay single. Any man that is experienced w/ woman has heard these questions 100's of times and knows how to answer them to get what he wants.
How is a person going to love you unless you’ve known each other for a long time? It’s like the guy asking you if you would love him if he didn’t have money.
@GlassTop my girlfriend loved me although "I had no money" no car, and no house... she didn't care for that, didn't need it either, not from me that is
we were in college, and expenses paid by parents... lol
over the next three to five years though... we made it happen, we got jobs (business), cars and a house and stuff...
so yes, a woman can still love you even if "you have no money" THAT as long as you have many other things that matter and that speak of your true character as a person
@NathanDavis my response was to the original poster about a relationship with no sex. I think even no money is not enough. It would be like asking if you would love me if I still had a relationship with an ex.
@GlassTop not wanting to rush into sex because you do not feel ready... that is a reasonable proposal
asking someone to get into a love triangle that can cause all kinds of trouble... that's not a reasonable proposal that's just a stupid and immature proposal
@NathanDavis I don't care to engage you in any way regarding what I was at 20, or who I am now. It's irrelevant to my point. I never said YOUR personal experience was invalid, don't put words in my mouth. I said it was a singular, anecdotal experience - a rarity among 20 yr olds. My collection, as you put it, of anecdotal experiences is extensive in volume, but I'm not going to survey 20 yr olds today simply to prove a point we all know is logically, statistically, valid.
You call me desperate - you call me a lot of things that are "uncalled for". This sort of bait " how about you participate with your actual input and real life experience for a change" is juvenile, especially the "for a change" part, as if you somehow know me?
My comments throughout GAG are based on a combination of personal experiences, facts and referential information. My discussion of this topic, with you, is done. Be well and see you next time.
@Ga-girl There is no personal history of my own behind the questions I proposed, other than to say that I have paid attention to the behavior of women over the years, and have also paid attention to the concerns of many men that are my friends, acquaintances, and colleagues. These concerns gave rise to the questions I proposed. I do not care if they offend you since your questions were equally offensive, if not more so. There is no truce or amnesty or forbearance here anymore.
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