How do I create Healthy boundaries with my parents?

[Anonymous]

I am a 22-year-old girl living with my parents (Desi). Every time I meet someone new, they want to meet them firsthand before I even go on the first date with them or talk faze. They also want me to allow them to accompany me on first dates if they don't know the person. I didn't feel it was right nor allowed me to grow and have my dates feel intimidated, to be honest about themselves and get to know me on a better level. I had two relationships that ended badly because due to my disagreement with my parents, I often needed to sneak out which didn't happen often and often strained the relationship along with some of my flaws that I am currently working on and my parent's attitude towards them. For example, my parents being racist toward my first one because he is black and the second one for being an immigrant Indian and accusing him he is just with me for the green card (Mind you that not being able to see me or go out with me did make the relationship already rocky and on the breaking point). After two years, I met up back with the second one and things didn't go well between us (that's another story for another day). I was talking to my ex-FWB (middle eastern dude the same age as me) the other day because he supports me mentally and is a true friend that helps me when I'm down but why we became just friends with benefits is because we like each other but what we want in a marriage and family life is very different. Due to that, nothing fruitful came of that and why we are no longer friends with benefits. So when the second guy dumped me for a better girl, I told him my problems etc. and he got super mad at me for this and said I shouldn't be like that because I'm lucky to have a family like this and how many girls would wish they had a family like mine who would want to protect them from harm's way. Now I'm at a crossroad of what is healthy and what boundaries should I make? ...

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean, don't fucking tell them and move out asap.

Your parents sound controlling and NONE of that is healthy. I also don't think they sound capable of change.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that. You shouldn't have to.

Honestly, I wouldn't tell them. I didn't tell my parents about anyone I was dating until I was sure I liked them and gave them a heads up about my unreasonable mother.

And she still didn't think I lived with my then-bf for 4 months after we moved in. She thought he drove 30mins back to his parents house every night.

Sometimes, you just need to get out from under controlling parents. Good luck. It gets better.

[BUTIMRIGHTTHO]

Get your money straight and a good career and then move out. Girl you got your whole life for a man. Be grateful for the things that a good in your life right now and be patient. You will get your guy. It's easy. Trust me.

[Guy13]

move out. maybe a roommate.