When you’re out for lunch with the opposite sex but the waiter never asked if it’s a separate bill, does that look like that you’re out on a date?

Question

20thGreatRomances · Accepted Answer

From my experience, not just waiters but, majority of people assume that if you are ALONE with the opposite sex, that you are "together". I am guessing from their perspective, you are on a date or just going out with your partner.

Although often, that is not always the case. I've gone out with my sister to eat and talk about family stuff. Definitely not my date. 🤣

Now, if there are three or more people then, it's easier to assume as well that everyone in the group are friends. There is a higher chance that you will split the bill in this scenario. Unless you are poly and out with your dates but, I wouldn't expect anyone to assume this either. I guess it's our job to ask for the bill to be split or as a gentleman, pay for it all. It's just personal preference, I feel.

Smartman5 · Accepted Answer

Yeah. But if I go out to dinner with the opposite sex, I pay for the meal.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

They might not ask because it could be bad PR for a man with no intention of paying and who now feels pressured to pay because of the question, the standard practice is to give each diner a separate bill and let them privately decide who pays and how much. Asking a man if he will pay for the woman humiliates him if he cannot afford to pay.

Sarahplus2 · Accepted Answer

No unless you say separate bills it will all go on one

NathanDavis · Answer

I never care or worry about these things... whether is friends or acquaintances or a potential date, family or whatever

man or woman...

I always offer to pay the bill, unless they were the ones that explicitly invited me, then I offer to split the bill and whatever they're more comfortable with, I will not argue or anything, we will go with that... lol

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I think honestly it doesn’t, since in my country waiters NEVER ask if bills are split. There’s only a reason for that: since there’s bank commission over every transaction done, restaurants have the main interest in doing less transaction possible. So usually they don’t allow splitting bills and people who want to split have to regulate privately their money.

So, to answer, in my country you can be perceived as being out for a date at restaurant for various reasons (manners, dressing, discourses, presents…) but NEVER for the bill.

ZS007 · Answer

they never bring separate bills to one single table you have to ask them to. It's bothersome for them to charge the meals separately. When we do that we friends and we have cash they ask us if it's easy for us to go inside and pay one by one. So no they don't think you are on date. People who share a table figure the bill out themselves. Thankfully we have revolut now.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Ofcourse, what else woyld look like? The waiter can't read minds, but if he is paying attention to you 2, then he might be able to "read" body language (that's how i used to do). And then he might could initiate the "separate bill", or he might also KNOW that the man Always Pays for "coffee, breakfast, lunch, and dinner"... 😉

Smoothing · Answer

No, not necessarily. It is sort of protocol for restaurant waiters to bring one bill. It is then between the two of you to deposit use how you will pay it. If you don't want that to happen then you must ask for separate bills.

I never get offended and certainly none of my female friends I have ever gone out to a restaurant with take offense to it.

RavVid · Answer

Looks like the waiter/waitress thinks you're a cute couple.

Locally a lot of establishments don't want to do separate bills and it is not unusual for there to be signs up saying that. IDKW exactly but it is probably to do with credit card charges I'd guess and the time to divy up the charges at the cashier.

So most often one person pays by card and the others hand cash to the person paying or else everybody has brought cash.

It could just be their mode of operating.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

If he thought you were on a date (or having a business meeting), he’d ask. If he thinks you’re married, he won’t. …or he could be a lousy waiter. Did he refill your coffee?

Lliam · Answer

Waiters rarely ask if people want separate checks because it's more work. It's up to the people who are dining to ask for separate checks. And that's easy enough. Not awkward at all if you are not on a date.

MTC29 · Answer

The person who does the inviting does the paying. Guys will often split the check, but in my experience separate checks are requested before ordering.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Nah, means the waiter's making a bunch of assumptions.

AviatorTom · Answer

Possibly, but servers are taught never to assume anything, and just deliver the check to the table, unless one of specifically asks for it.

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

Ah hahaha... Lots of servers around here don't ask if we want the bill split even if it's me and my 4 female family members... I'm guessing it's just quicker for the server, but we still ask for the splits that we want, so...

JosyJosy · Answer

If they don't ask it, they probably think you're a couple.

worldscolide · Answer

It's the restaurant assuming it's a date.. Kind of sexist if you ask me, because most restaurants assume the man is paying too.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

No. Wouldn't that more mean that the waitress assumes you aren't together?

Gamer24 · Answer

Guys and girls can be friends without it being romantic. Lots of people make assumptions but if you're wanting to go dutch then just put both cards on one check.

jengeorge26 · Answer

The server usually asks if it is separate check?

Still-alive · Answer

i'd say it's roughly an 80% safe assumption to make lol.

rosemilk · Answer

even with friends, they usually don't split the bill unless you ask them to. so no, not all the time they just assume you're on a date.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

No if he says it or else it does but depends on age of date if I'm on a date 20yr older they think it's my mom and I get that look when I've dated that old an if I'm out with a 18yr old I look like it's my daughter

melanieeeB · Answer

I don't think so... maybe they forgot to ask? I don't know

qwert1234 · Answer

Probably but I do not think the waiter cares. He/She just wants to deal with one less person probably. lol

wingattebaby16 · Answer

usually.. hahah or a lunch business meeting.

BlueScorpio · Answer

They probably forgot to ask or assumed you where together/on a date.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Happens frequently. I do think the servers think I'm on a date

dolemite89 · Answer

depends on the context of the situation, If it looks like it’s for work I wouldn’t assume so.

boobliker · Answer

i never have that as my SO always pays she get more money than I do now

Andres77 · Answer

Yup…they see the scenario through experienced eyes. their perspective counts for something

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't think so but I would cover the bill no problem.

collie22 · Answer

it could look like a date or he could be your brother. just ask for separate checks when your ordering so then no worries

joeldalton · Answer

I doubt there's much thought put into it by the waiter. Most would just assume a guy/girl at a restaurant are a couple.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Waiters usually brimg one bill unless otherwise requested.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Never thought about it. I guess I don't really care what it LOOKS like.

MiseriaCantareAFI · Answer

Out with the opposite sex, alone. Def. This is why girls and guys can't be "just friends" Don't use people

nawtee_me · Answer

If you and the person you are out with know it is not a date then it doesn’t matter what other people think it is.

D1ana13 · Answer

If you know you’re not, why would you even care what the waiter thinks? He will ask that even if there’s 10 people most times

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I could care less what it looks like or what it doesn’t.

Iron_Man · Answer

Not necessarily most waiters just bring one bill

macjets007 · Answer

No separate bills, the man should always pay.

TroyDT · Answer

Most servers I've dealt with avoid asking about separate checks.

convo_king89 · Answer

if I’m with someone and we look roughy the same age I get asked.

Fuentes · Answer

If it's not a date I'm not paying, you got it

Jerre · Answer

Yes. I will always pay when I take a woman out.

lisalikes · Answer

Who cares? Put with any luck, the guy will buy LOL

Lucy68 · Answer

That's a good question

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yeah that makes sense

mr4435669 · Answer

Even on a date, he wouldn't pay for a woman's food.

MCheetah · Answer

Yes. Ask for separate bills.

Guardian45 · Answer

Yeah, that's usually the assumption

Zolly99999 · Answer

I often wondered the same thing...🤔🤔🤔

bigpauly · Answer

Yea most likely lol

FashionPrincess26 · Answer

Pretty much, Get it girl!! 😂😂

jimmy2 · Answer

Lol well who got stuck

ProudWoman · Answer

I've never paid for my food on a date.

Avadarling · Answer

Yesss

MsJackie2001 · Answer

Ask separate bill.

Twalli · Answer

I think so

Xtendable · Answer

Highly likely

When you’re out for lunch with the opposite sex but the waiter never asked if it’s a separate bill, does that look like that you’re out on a date?

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If someone says "let me take you out to dinner" is this a date?

When you’re out for lunch with the opposite sex but the waiter never asked if it’s a separate bill, does that look like that you’re out on a date?

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If someone says "let me take you out to dinner" is this a date?

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