Exclusive / Dating?

[Anonymous]

I started talking to this guy a couple months ago, we hit it off early and I like him however I'm bothered with our "relationship". I have met his family, he takes me out on dates, he invites me on his family vacations, and calls me all the pet names you can think of. Its been like this for a couple months and I decided to ask him what we were because we never established anything and I like knowing where we stand. He dropped this bomb on me that he doesn't like labels but he wants us to be exclusive. I don't really understand the point of being exclusive when he treats me like his girlfriend anyway. I thought he liked me more than that. I am older than him and will be graduating school before him and I don't know if that has any reason to do with him not wanting a relationship but the whole "i don't like labels" honestly offends me. I don't know if I am overreacting because he does a lot for me but I'm not sure how to walk away from this or approach this effectively.

[JamesDiaz11]

While I've never dated an older woman, I've treated girls like girlfriends with no intention of being with them long term. A girl that I was messing around for a few months earlier this year came at me exactly as you did, saying "what are we?" I just kinda stuttered out a, "well, you know I'm planning to move out of the country, and when we met you knew I was selling my house in this city... etc. etc." Basically, any answer that isn't "you're my girlfriend" is just a guy wasting your time.

She asked me again a month later, even had her younger brother ask me "you're her boyfriend?" "We're dating," I responded. I still didn't say it, and it's NOT because I don't like labels. The only reason guys would "not like labels," is if he wants to keep his options open. IF/ WHEN a guy finds the girl he wants to be with he will lock her down asap, I kid you not.

My suggestion is to end it. It'll hurt, you'll feel bad, he might even send you those hurtful messages ("I miss you/ miss what we had, etc. bullshit), but trust me, this guy has no intention of actually being with you- he'll just hit it until you graduate, then move onto the next.

[spartan55]

He is covering himself in case he wants to fuck around.

[Anonymous]

Ugh I’ve been there. I was “dating” a guy and he treated me like his girlfriend but when I asked him what we are he said that he “doesn’t like labels”. I then stopped acting like his girlfriend and just took it as he’s not ready to commit to a relationship. However, some people really are terrified of labels - either they have commitment issues or they have some bad experiences in the past.

Maybe you can ask him what his expectations are and what you can expect from him, try to discuss boundaries (what kind of things are okay), you can even ask him what he wants you to refer him as (your man? Significant other? boyfriend?). Then just take it from there - make sure to really set your foot down and tell him that you just want some clarity as to not cause any misunderstandings between the two of you. Good luck!

[Guy13]

He is too immature for you ‼️‼️