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This is not necessarily autobiographical, I’m just curious.
Thanks!!
u I did, in the past... sort of, a version of it
except that she didn't really said she was waiting till marriage or for marriage... she said that she just want not ready and not willing to engage in that kind of love/relationship yet, and that she also was not ready to rush it or consider it at the moment, so she was not able to commit to a "maybe later or maybe I change my mind" or anything like that
she said that it could be "unfair" to me, maybe or difficult or just something I would not want to deal with but, anyway... I did say to her that I was fine with it, and that I was also capable of "handling" a relationship like that, I said to her that my interest with her was also beyond and above the sex component, and well... more than dating, we started our (exclusive & committed) relationship which went on for a few years more
so, nowadays though... maybe I could do it again, sure... but it would depend on many other circumstances and factors that would be even more important than just the sex component
I don't want to judge anybody or go with prejudice but to me... there might be good reasons to "wait till marriage" and there might be "not so good reasons" to wait till marriage... or reasons that I would not agree with or they would not align with my kind of thinking, I think that is more accurate... lol
if their reasons were valid and also make sense to me, then I would not have an issue with it and we could make it work
but it is also true that there is a fraction of the population that would be like " you Nathan are a sinful fornicator that is going straight to hell!! you had the SEX before marriage, so you have to be reborn in the name of Jesus and" well, you can imagine the rest, lol... I don't think I could align myself with that kind of upbringing, lol...
I would, but it'd get harder as time went on- since sex is a big need for me.
For me, my girlfriend told me on date #2 that she was a virgin, and said "not yet."
She played hard to get, and would often stop us before going past a certain point, but I could tell that she wanted to go further. When we went on a weekend getaway she told me that she wanted to wait until marriage/ only wanted to have sex with her husband. And we went out recently and she doubled-down on her body being a temple, etc.
TBH I'm trying to smash within the next two months, and if not I'm probably going to cheat.
No, I wouldn't date them.
I'm against that sort of behaviour, personally, and it's necessary for me to have sexual compatability as well in order to marry.
I'm not interested in marrying only to divorce because we don't match, sexually.
It's an irreconcilable difference, and I don't think the other person is wrong. So it's only right to let them go so they can be with someone who will be able to respect their wishes.
Happy to help, thanks for the question!
Can we at least have oral? Grind? Make out?
Even if we can, I don't think I would be interested. If I want to be with someone I want to see how compatible we are, that goes for the bedroom as well. I want us to know eachother through and through by the time we walk down that aisle.
Opinion
68Opinion
u Yes. . . but it would be a very short engagement!
How long does it take to get a wedding license? :) :) :)
At my age we'd better get straight to it before we kick the bucket.
Me: Hi, pleased to meet you. Wanna have sex?
Her: Pleased to meet you too. Yea, let's hurry and do it before we kick the bucket.
I've lost my virginity... but if I hadn't and I felt strongly about it I would think of my values... it's best to love someone to have sex... but at the same time its sex.. if your aim is to find someone with the same values then you should stick to that... only you can answer that
Nope. Physical intimacy is important to me, and if you're waiting for marriage to do so, that means we will never have that together, which is a no go for me.
Sure.
I would, since I'm looking for a committed relationship.
I like a woman that respects herself to the degree that she only wants to give her body to "the one," which, in my opinion, is a high honor.
I think intimacy brings you closer to someone or farther. Sleeping with every person you come across isn’t my thing but if you are in a committed relationship is some way then I don’t see why it has to wait until marriage.
@kylal412 it has to wait until marriage cause if they were really serious than why aren't they married? 😏
Get married than have sex as much as you want...
@tonymetal_86 I wish that it was like that now a days because then you have the full attention of someone and sex is never important but it’s not like that. People now think they have the best connection when they are doing the horizontal mambo. Trust me I so wish it was like that. You get to learn a person without the stress and expectations of sex. It would be so much easier and natural. But I still stand with what I say because men don’t like the girl that plays hard to get. She’s ends up being a prude or a bitch.
I agree with everything you have said miss kayla except for a man claiming that such women are playing hard to get and that they are prude or b*tches...
A lot of men might be like that but personally if a woman wants to stay a virgin till marriage, she ain't playing hard to get cause that's the right thing to do and her decision makes me a lot more attached to her, a woman playing hard to get ain't only sexually but will play hard to get when it comes to communication!
I support and admire each lady who decided to stay virgin until marriage or at least not to have sex until she makes sure that the guy with her is going to become her husband...
Sex means nothing without love, i prefer to focus on her as a whole because sex is important but not more important than her character especially when it comes to marriage cause this woman is going to be mine forever and she will be the only one so making me happy and being the woman that i desire is more important than sex, at least for me that's how i think...
Well damn shut me up why don’t you. Sadly there are few of you. I think that’s amazing. And for a woman to stick to her guns is honestly great. She is not wrong for sticking to what she believes. I only said what I said because it has happened to me. I wasn’t a virgin but if I chose to not want to sleep with a guy that’s the result I got. And I wish that was how it went for me but I was dealt different cards in life. She was definitely taught better values than myself. But you said your words beautifully and I can not disagree with you.
You're a nice lady miss kayla but sometimes life puts a lot of pressure on you and the society will have no remorse towards you...
Any man who pressures a girl for sex before marriage should be dumped because this is a big red flag that he's not into you for who you are, he's just into what you have as a woman and when he gets it, he will dump you or get bored and search for someone else...
If a man can't feel happiness because of you're presence, voice, the way you talk and walk and behave than he doesn't really love you...
Sometimes a hug and a kiss are more than enough, he sees in you're smile magic and wherever he is, you're always in his mind, whenever you feel bad or sick, you see him always next to you and won't feel good until he makes you feel good and healthy again 😌
@tonymetal___86
@kylal412
You all are having A very nice dialogue 🙏🏼
@kylal412s
orry for the miscommunication. Honestly I forgot I put this to guys. I thought I was asking women also if they’d wait. Sooo I thought you did dint want to. Are you saying you’d prefer it but it’s difficult bc if wait a lot of guys want?
Just because they said it doesn't mean it's true. My future ex-fiance tried to fend me off by telling me about her hubby. She WAS legally married at the time but, not in her eyes, since he'd already had a sex change years before and then reverted. Once we started considering being a couple, she owned up about him not being her 100% hubby anymore and that it was okay for us to fuck around. She was just using him as a protection against potential assholes.
Another girl kept telling me about how she's a lezzie and wouldn't fuck ANY guy! A few years later, she fucked my guitarist, got pregnant and had his kid!! Another few years later I caught her fucking my singer! Apparently, girls don't want relationships, they just want flings!
No, but let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with being someone who wants to wait, I'm just not interested in that.
Nope, I respect their decision. I want to know that me and my possible future partner our sexually compatible.
No. I don't want to be married ever. So no point in dating and being forced to wait forever.
I'll go find another guy more open minded.
About a year ago. I had a stalker, so laid low for a few months. Came back on the net with all new accounts.
I can say 90% of guys would say no to a girl like that. Or those who pretend to say yes will eventually break up with her.
@haha456 i said yes, also i'm not pretending and will never dump a girl who loves me from her heart just because she wants to wait, in contrary i'll support her and encourage her to do so cause she's doing the right thing, sex comes after marriage...
a promise ring does wonders for a guys sex life and they only cost a quarter in the vending machine
u No, because I don’t plan on getting married, so we wouldn’t be a good fit.
No way. Sexual compatibility is far too important to leave until you get married.
As someone who didn't have sex until he was married... You can tell if you're compatible without doing it.
@CountryWanderer
That’s interesting & I think you probably could bc sex is an entire sauce not just sticking it in. You get a string sense of each others energy rhythms etc plus you can discuss it 😊
@CountryWanderer You got lucky. There's no way either of you can know what you like, let alone whether it will be compatible, if you haven't had sex.
Except that we DID have an idea of what it would be like, without actually doing it
Yes for as long as i could ;-) It is not all about sex but sex is a component.
No. I think you need to live together before marriage
Living together before marriage actually increases the likelihood that you get a divorce.
@poppyjames123. Well if marriages last on average 8.2 years but you live together for 5 years before hand then I guess you have 3.2 years left after you do marry.
It is probably multi-faceted.
It's not just that. Couples who live together also say they are less satisfied in their marriage. Probably because it doesn't seem like marriage wasn't as special because they did everything before they were married.
@poppyjames123 That is interesting indeed. There would be a difference in going into it on a 'death do us part' attitude as opposed to a 'till it stops being fun' approach.
On the other hand you could be dismayed your new spouse is a dud lay :)
You wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive first, would you? Forgive the crude analogy lol, but in all seriousness, I'd want to have slept with a partner and probably even moved in together before getting married in order to know what I'm getting into and make sure it's sustainable.
No definitely not. I wouldn't even marry someone that I didn't have a child with first. Mostly since couples change drastically after having a baby together. They either get stronger or fall apart. I'm extremely thankful that I had my son before marriage so I could see how my husband was as a dad and that our relationship got stronger.
I would yes, but I would like to have other sexual activities like oral sex. I can wait for vaginal sex to be till marriage only and would prefer to actually. But I think oral sex is good practice during the relationship so you connect with each other deeper
Yes, because I had the same convictions. I'm married now and I'm glad we waited.
Thanks! We dated for seven months before I proposed, and married 14 months after that. We were long distance for a good part of our engagement.
We were okay with being intimate and sexy, but avoided sex (including non-penetrative forms) and nudity, and didn't sleep together.
We never slept overnight in the same bed together. Not that we considered doing so to be wrong, but for us it was something we wanted to save until we were married. Plus we knew that other people would assume we were having sex.
It would need to happen at least 1 week before marriage. I prefer waiting to have sex until I know everything about her, but I would need to know the sex is good to kniw if I want to marry her, (and i mean good in terms of comfortable, not good in terms of skill).
Yeah. Takes all the pressure off. But the question is, is she telling the truth? Or just saying that to see his reaction. Most women say that to me then turn around and make the first move.
Why do you think they do that? You mean to see if sex is all he wants? I don't know but if she was being honest would you do it? 😊
Probably as a test yeah. And then it backfires on them because then I'm turned off because she lied to me.
Yeah. I said yeah! I wouldn't have said yeah if I didn't mean it. But that doesn't mean I don't expect her to not show ANY affection. I mean we don't have to have sex until marriage. But if she shows know affection at all then I'm going to think she has no interest in me at all.
Probably not
Gotta ride the pony before it's yours
If I was looking to marry quickly, otherwise probably not.
The good guy side of me says, yes sure I'll wait
But I know that I never have waited for marriage for sex.
Gotta test drive before you buy
I know this might shock a few, but I need to know if they are good in sack before saying I do
That is not the direction things went with my current relationship but if she had wanted to wait I would have been willing to. I would be extra vigilant to look for red flags though because I waited before marriage during my first relationship and a lot of problems would have been very apparent if we had been having sex.
Only if she is a virgin, NOT of she is trying to "reform" or says she is done with her 304 phase.
Yeah, it would be preferred but it also depends how long we're waiting for. Are we getting married in 3-6 months or something?
It would actually make her much more appealing if she was telling the truth. Some estimate that for every woman who saves her virginity for marriage (estimated to be between 1% and 2% of women) another seven lie about it.
If she’s falsely claiming to be a virgin, her desirability drops to zero.
Well... as religion plays a big part in our do's and dont's, the answer is obvious.
i would want to see if she fit my needs emotionally, i would hope an expression of physical emotion/love might happen eventually. other wise, I might imagine them as emotionally stoic. Might….
But i would respect anyone that would want to wait, even admire as i did not have a choice when i started having sex.
Funny you should ask that, just yesterday I saw a couple who have been together for 8 years where the woman keeps him sexless by telling him she won't have sex until marriage and she keeps finding excuses not to marry him. And that fool keeps dating her and paying for her whims for 10 years like a lamb.
I would wait a month before asking for sex. After that, if she refuses:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/GUHPFgwn9d0
Voted e, actually if it wanted a serious relationship that leads to marriage than i'll be dating such type of women!
It's simple to me cause i don't want sex before marriage, it must be special in a honeymoon and the couple should be married and blessed by god in order to make love 😌
I dated a virgin man a few years ago and although it was okay for me in the beginning I wouldn't do it again.
Yes. Truth is those girls wouldn’t be able to wait. Especially if theirs ANY form of physical contact. How long can a girl be a couple with a man before she gives into sex? How many dates can she withstand? Eventually there will be hand holding, a kiss goodbye. Eventually kissing on the lips. Then the neck, ears, deep kissing, nipples licking, oral sex, and boom it’s over. When do they expect the man to propose? Or since she is being celibate, will she propose to him?
I was all for it. A girl I liked said the same thing. But she took it extra far. She said not only she be celibate, but god would deliver her partner to her. She wouldn’t need to date. They would just know and get married. She was a nice girl. She became a teacher in Korea last I heard. But yes I would wait if she was worth it. It’s very easy to just masterbate.
I'd respect him for it, but if he is planning on like a 2 year engagement, no thanks...90 days, sure... after dating for 3 to 6 months.
If you don't know if your compatible by then, you'll never know.
Longs if ain't for religious reasons sure thing. Because I wouldn't like them anyway since religious then that would only reforce my ideas it's about limiting freedom.
How I would like to build relationships in perfect world. 1. Date for a month without sex 2. Spend a lot of time together 3. Get to know the family and expectations of the partner 4. Get married have sex every day lol…
looking each other and smiling, holding hands, cuddling, cooking food for each other, listening, caring, respecting etc are way more important and better than sex for me. Sex is just 20-30 minutes of physical bonding that adds to above mentioned qualities.
"Waiting till marriage" sounds rather religious and I'm just not about that. I'd more than likely have to say no. I think its important to know if you're compatible in that regard before agreeing to a lifelong commitment
I wouldn't have dated someone who seemed like they WERE NOT waiting.
No I wouldn’t. Sex is a big part of a relationship. She may not be willing to do w everything I want to do, so for me it would be a turn off. Now I’m stuck in a marriage unless I get a divorce.
baby a girl's got needs and if you're not at least gona go down town it's not gona work cause i can't hold out.
Meh I’ve heard that a few times but their moral convictions are easily overcome. Unless they’re like arab or indian then the family will kill both of you.
Probably not, but if there was something particularly special about her, I would consider it.
No, absolutely not.
Sure , but i would try to sway them away 😂
Lol nice pic who sent you that 🤣
Lol what for us haha either you will be embarrassed or you will be a celebrity 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, but depends on the woman.
I doubt I would be attracted to a woman who puts out that kind of vibe, which is not to say a) there's anything wrong with it or b) that I'm attracted only to promiscuous women.
Because this are people who may latter be fucked by other and after they will tell you he or she may say he made me feel matter or I couldn't control myself or I am sorry which will be most heat breaking
Yes, I am currently engaged to one now.
Yes but only if she virgin and if she is planning to marry and not just wasting my time.
Yeah, it's cool, if I really liked them, it's something I could wait an eternity for, because friendship is sacred. So they would be really good friends even if it never worked out.
I'd tell her, "That means we'd never have sex, since I'm not pursuing marriage."
I did this once and would not do it again.
Yes. I’m waiting too.
😊😊 thank you
@VIVANT you're welcome :-D :-p
That's a simple ''no'' to me.
I wish her good luck otherwise :)
Literally, throw me a bone here
I'm to old to find a woman my age "still" waiting. And since I want no kids. Compatible sexual relationship is not off the table.
I don't believe in the institution of marriage so no.
Hell fuuckin no especially if she was average.
What would be worth waiting for?
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