I feel uneasy after my date. He’s really overly touchy even after I hinted that I didn’t want to be touched so much. Should I block him?

[Anonymous]

[FilmGuy93]

Well, I guess it depends on the other elements of your interactions, but I hear "blocking" and that intuitively strikes me as a major overreaction. It seems like you really just need to set more clear boundaries with people.

How did you hint that you didn't want to be touched?

One thing that I'm discovering as I have become a more mature man is that there are a lot of problems throughout life, but especially in romantic relationships, where people have a very difficult time identifying and communicating what they need and want people around them to do. And that's especially true for a lot of women, many of whom genuinely believe that men don't care what they think.

[Asker]

He kept touching my hair and I said please stop touching my hair. So then he kissed my neck and back. Both of work my hair touches. I know this is silly but my concern is I washed my hair earlier that day and wasn’t planning to wash it again til next day. I don't know I’m a clean freak. Anyway, then he kept moving my leg on top of his thigh and I said a few times I just want to sit and just chill and not do that. He kept trying. Then as I was talking he kept trying to kiss me and I was like “I’m trying to talk right now.” I don't know he was just pushing my boundaries and I was annoyed. He walked me back home after that and I didn’t want to talk at all but he demanded I tell him what is on my mind

[FilmGuy93]

Oh wow. So you didn't actually hint at anything; you said it flat out. I can understand why you want to distance yourself from this guy.

[Asker]

Yeah it’s repulsive. I’m usually chill and patient. But this this really ticked me off.
I just basically told him I’m uncomfortable and just didn’t want to see him again and blocked him.

[Sandeeppingping]

The way I see it that's irreversible damage, you're not gonna change your perception of this guy so do whatever you want, my advice though would be to tell him before you block him, I know you don't see it that way but he probably meant no harm and was just trying to genuinely get closer to you, in an oblivious socially inacceptable way agreed, but these were his intentions not to use you or disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable...

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yeah. Block, cut all contact, and be very careful - men who don't respect boundaries are honestly very prone to becoming violent.

You don't owe him anything. Just block and gtfo.

[Asker]

Thank you!! Yes I’m sooo done with men who don’t understand boundaries. I got so pissed today about it. I feel like some men get so offended if you don’t want to hold hands or kiss and make out and cuddle by the third date. Like I’m only comfortable doing that with a guy if he’s my boyfriend.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

He sounds like a major douche and you deserve better. You dodged a bullet.

Also, there's plenty more people out there. You're bound to meet one who treats you with respect and isn't going to rush you. Don't settle.

[grierwrange]

If you made it clear and he’s not listening, it won’t get better if anything he’ll be more like this when you continue dating. Was it the first date too?

[Asker]

It was the 3rd date

[Staximus]

I don't start getting touchy feely with a woman until she is kissing me and invading my personal space. If you were not into him touching you and made it known but he kept doing it anyways, the guy is a shit bag. Get rid of him.

[Asker]

Thank you! Usually I would talk things out with a guy to end things but this feels different. I am annoyed and tired by the number of times I had to tell him I just wanted to sit there and not make out and put my legs on him and asked him to please stop touching my hair. And he did anyway like later.

[Asker]

And he’s obsessed with the way I look. And wants numerous pics and videos of me.

[Staximus]

Hold on a second. You can't be laying on a guy with your legs on him and shit like that and expect him to not want to touch you. If you don't want him to touch you, you shouldn't be putting your legs on him. That basically means "touch me" You're giving him mixed signals

[Asker]

No I didn’t put my legs on him. He kept moving my legs on top of his thigh even after I said I just wanted to sit there. And he told me I looked closed off.

[Asker]

by the way we were in public on a bench in the park. After dinner.

[Staximus]

If you told him not to do it and he kept doing it, he's a shit bag. Get rid of him.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m really frustrated. And we’re not even like exclusive. I am not comfortable making out with and holding hands with a guy if he’s still dating other women too.

[20yearsolder]

You should tell him exactly what he did wrong and then tell him to fuck off and then you can block him

[Shamalien]

If it’s the third date sone touching is expected. If you made it clear that you weren’t into it then he should respect that though. What did you tell him exactly to make it clear?

[Asker]

He kept touching my hair and I said please stop touching my hair. So then he kissed my neck and back. Both of work my hair touches. I know this is silly but my concern is I washed my hair earlier that day and wasn’t planning to wash it again til next day. I don't know I’m a clean freak. Anyway, then he kept moving my leg on top of his thigh and I said a few times I just want to sit and just chill and not do that. He kept trying. Then as I was talking he kept trying to kiss me and I was like “I’m trying to talk right now.” I don't know he was just pushing my boundaries and I was annoyed. He walked me back home after that and I didn’t want to talk at all but he demanded I tell him what is on my mind.

[Shamalien]

Hmmm sounds like the vibe ent there

[Luckycharms12]

Why would you block him was just trying to hit on you clearly you felt nothing just say you're not interested

[Asker]

I told him to stop and that I didn’t want to be super touchy numerous times and he didn’t really listen

[Luckycharms12]

Well he was trying to bring you round I'm not sure what was going on in his head he probably thought you were playing hard to get 🤣🤣

[Asker]

No. I’m just classy and not allowing a guy to overstep. It’s that simple.

[Luckycharms12]

Okay well you do you

[Iron_Man]

I hate blocking you don’t do that to people you talk to them and work it out

[Asker]

Usually I would. That’s usually how I handle ending things, but this I don’t feel comfortable with. In particular with him. He seems persistent about excessive touching and that’s a red flag.

[LazerBean]

First tell him why he's a loser, then block him

[JustADudePlayinADude]

How long have y'all been dating?

[Asker]

It was only our 3rd date and 1 week

[JustADudePlayinADude]

Then tell him you aren't interested in him and goodbye. That is rude and creepy he acted like that. After you tell him that you have every right to block/ghost him without feeling bad in any way.

[Asker]

I told him it was overstepping. Im so grossed out. Im tired of these types of men on dates being touchy and when I don’t reciprocate they “don’t think im attracted to them sexually.”

[JustADudePlayinADude]

Yea, that's not an okay thing to do. Hope you find someone more respectful of your boundaries in the future.

[jimmy2]

He might be just clingy

[BLP11520]

Ditch him