How should I ask her if we should clarify what we want from our dates if at all?

[Anonymous]

I finally jumped into the world of bumble. It was a strange place, but after 4 months I actually had a match that wasn't a bot scam from India. I matched with a girl I used to drink at the campus bar with in 2015 and we both moved around since. At this point we discovered we live in the same city and messaged an hour before we decided to catch up in person with a walk in the park. Next meeting was a coffee meet up. Then dinner and a few drinks 2 weeks ago was our first date. Last weekend I stayed at her apartment cause she wanted to see if her pets liked me. Before we went to bed she asked if she could delete bumble off my phone and I in return delete it off her's. I agreed and this weekend she is spending Saturday/Sunday night at my apartment. The one thing we haven't done is clarify our end goal. Is it necessary or is the naturally flow of things going as it should?

[DaveJord]

So I have been through the online thing, like 16 dates, 12 different women and 2 relationships, in the last year. One was four month and the other is 9 months and it currently getting iffy for me. My current relationship went great for 6 months then you start finding out all the little things that makes you thing long term your not sure how it is even possible for this work out. But the sex is good.

So as you know you got to message like 100 women to get maybe 10 responses and out those only 1 in 10 will result in a first date, and then out of those only 5 in 10 will result in a second date... so here you are on the 3rd date and you already got sex... so you're like in the top 1% of men... congrats!

I mean its seems as if she is already looking for a committed relationship, so I would assume that is the case, but I would not push to "define the relationship" at this point. Once you start throwing around the commitment word things change... it good enough that it seems you both may be looking for that long term commitment so just take it easy and see where it goes.

So I have been through this with a women and totally removed the dating app and so did she... but the truth is enjoy the relationship for as long as its last and get what you can, out of it and if it leads to more then great. At the same time even though I deleted the app from my phone I still can log in to through my browser. Just to to keep tabs on things incase this relationship doesn't work out. Like said I been through this and did all the right things and 4 months she was iffy on commitment, and when it didn't work out I had to start all over again. While she was still on the app the whole time. So you go to do what you feel right about doing.

Like said enjoy it for as long as its lasts, and if more come of it then great... but do not put any undo pressure on the situation... I mean your getting laid so let it play out.

[Anonymous]

'Before we went to bed she asked if she could delete bumble off my phone'

So after just a few weeks she's asking you to delete Bumble and you're already sleeping together?

Here is the issue. If you aren't on your life purpose, all relationships will also follow suit and you will simply go through the motions, go out, have fun, have sex, maybe become exclusive and then it will fizzle out because there is no life purpose behind the 'relationship'. I assume you haven't discovered your life purpose because you are asking about 'going with the flow'. If I'm incorrect, feel free to ignore this comment. But I've seen the pattern repeatedly.

[Asker]

I have never committed to an area 6 years after college and traveled until I was over that life. This is the first time since college I have stayed in the same area for more then a year and plan to stay here. She has hit that point as well and has a long-term career role. I am finishing this contract up and decided last January to leave the contracting world and get a career job here. Settling down has been on my mind for 9 months now so this recent resparking of catching up with a girl I knew when I was 21 happended later.

[TikiTook]

“It was a strange place” hahaha

Honestly it sounds like it’s all going so well, just let it unfold naturally.. or discuss it, I’m sure she is thinking the same thing. So I don’t think it matters. Congrats!