Can friends with benefits ever turn into something else?

[Karenjjj]

My friend told me a few months ago that she met this guy and it was their first date they both did tell eachother prior to the date that they weren’t looking for a relationship or anything serious and they both just did some oral stuff and they both were happy with just being friends with benefits and she asked him if it was just gonna be them doing stuff together or if he’s gonna mess around and he said for now it’s just her and she told him if he is gonna see someone else to let her kno because she’s prone to bacterial infections down there and he laughed but said he will let her kno and now she’s catching feelings for him after a few months what should she do she asked me but I don't know what to tell her I’ve never really been in a situation like this

[BullShark]

It's usually advised that you don't catch feelings for your friends with benefits, and that too, for numerous reasons. It's gonna be a slightly long one, so buckle up. Now personally I myself am NOT a friends with benefits kinda guy but I've had friends in the past who've done this, so I'll just narrate their POVs here;

First and foremost, you have to understand why a person might wanna be friends with benefits. Most of the time, you just do it because the sex is good but there's no real chemistry there to actually make you guys fall in love with each other. It's basically two friends who just happen to also f*ck around and get frisky. There's no feelings involved and before getting into a friends with benefits relationship, most people usually make a pact and agree that if by any chance either of them does happen to catch feelings for the other person or gets into a relationship, they'll end things right then and there.

Moreover, you have to understand that it's also unfair for the other person too who may not have feelings for you or just doesn't want to have a proper relationship at he moment. A proper relationship requires trust, exclusivity and solid commitment (not mentioning those dorks who have open relationships over here), and most people who become friends with benefits don't want that. Catching feelings or finding out the other person has feelings for you now can also get pretty awkward at times, same as how it may be if you happen to find out one of your guy friends has a major crush on you but you don't feel the same way because you never saw them that way or just can't.

In the unlikely circumstances that each of them DO fall in love with each other, I'd say to just cut the crap, admit your feelings to one another and make it official, 'cos that's the good ending. But as I said before, a proper relationship requires commitment, and if both of 'em are ready to commit to one another and only each other and make things work, then they should go for it.

[Karenjjj]

Thank you so much for your help and response ☺️💙you definitely explained it really well i appreciate you

[BullShark]

@Karenjjj ain't no trouble at all. I'm glad you liked it ^^

[ohsheeT]

Tell your friend really has to pay attention to what goes on if she gets back to your infections because most guys are going to lie to her and tell her what she wants to hear there is no guy there's no girl worth becoming sick over it so she has to follow her heart no matter what she does she has to do it because she wants to not because he wants her to and if both parties wanted to turn into something else it very well could happen the friends with benefit relationship is probably one of the best relationships I've ever had and that's because there were no ties you could be your exact self you could be who you are the only back and that is a freeing experience that is a beautiful experience but she should not sacrifice herself because of this guy it's a guy really cares he will let her know that he went out with somebody else is the way that I see it

[Karenjjj]

Thank you so much for your response but only thing is she said he didn’t message her after their first meeting and he usually does that anyway so that’s not new but he was barely interested in what she had to say when they hung out and was very respectful

[ohsheeT]

Yeah I don't know I think that kind of tells me if he's not engaged with everything that she's talking about then she's going to end up with a broken heart probably and the thing is is she sounds like she's a good girl because how open she was to him about things I think there's a lot of guys like him out there that will mislead her so she has to really be careful

[Karenjjj]

Thank you for your response ☺️💙

[ohsheeT]

You're very welcome and you should tell your friend that she should have no problem finding a guy she sounds like she's a good person with a good heart

[AsaKyo]

I guess they can, but I highly doubt it and think it's an arrangement that's doomed to fail from the start, hence why I wish it would just die out already

[sawno]

Mine turned into the best relationship I could ever have imagined, but in my case we started out as friends with benefits because we didn't expect us to be able to make the long distance work. But as time went on it was obvious that she was the one for me and that it was worth trying, and that no local girl could live up to her. So we tried as best we could, but ultimately could not make the distance work in the short term.

If I ever get a good chance of trying again with her under better circumstances I 100% would, she is incredible and I still love her immensely.

So for your friends advice if feelings start becoming a thing its time to get a relationship on the table, if he feels similarly they can either get in in a relationship or work up to one. If he doesn't consider her for more than sex its important she knows so she can prevent herself from falling deeper or quit it altogether.

[Karenjjj]

Thank you so much for your response and I’m genuinely so happy for you that it worked outtt makes me believe in true love again lol rare but definitely out there😭❤️🌹

[sawno]

I mean in the end it didn't work, but that was only because the current situation prevented me from physically being with her. Was still an absolutely amazing relationship that lasted 2 years, but there is only so much you can do online to prevent lonelyness. If we had been given the oppertunity for me to move in with her I am certain we would have been one of the healthiest and happyiest couples, but unfortunately that was not meant to be, at least not right now. Perhaps in a future we are both single, the lockdowns lifted and our lives align again.

[Karenjjj]

I hope what’s meant for u that u get it and find genuine love and happiness in your life u sound like a very nice guy whoever ends up with u will be a very lucky lady 😘💕🌹

[Chris_Morgan]

I think she made the mistake of getting involved with an emotionally unavailable person from the start. He made his intentions clear to her.

[Karenjjj]

But that’s the thing he likes her back but they both are just busy with work and school 🥲

[glennos89]

If can start as friend with benefits but anything can happen from there to be honest. Once you have sex with someone deeper feelings become involved in it and it could end up in 1 person or both of them getting genuine feelings for eachother

[Anonymous]

Much in the same way that you can meet someone and marry them on day 1 and then fall in love with them. ANYTHING is possible. But I wouldn't do it expecting it to happen.

[Karenjjj]

Thank you so much for your response and Time ☺️💙

[AimeeKyle]

It hasn’t happened to me but I don’t see why it couldn’t.

[Cedman]

Yes but would have to ask to go steady.

[Anonymous]

Please learn to use punctuation.

[Karenjjj]

Please learn to not be a bitch if u don’t understand it then scroll away Karen