When do I tell a guy I want an open relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'm currently single but would like the idea of having just one boyfriend but dating others for the sake of it. The other guys would not be my boyfriend, just whatever guys.

However, I don't want to cheat. I imagine having a boyfriend that would be ok with that type of arrangement. I'm ok too if he wants to date other girls as long as I'm the girlfriend while those girls aren't.

When do I tell a guy I want an open relationship? How many guys would be ok with that arrangement? Has anyone ever done that?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Find a guy who starts off as a decent friend and be honest with him about how you view sex. You don't have to do it all at once or necessarily force the conversation. But you need to have it relatively early on.

I had an open relationship before and it was awesome. It took a while to find a good person to do it with but it was fun, and because we had several conversations before about both of our views on sex it never became a problem. It was probably the closest I got to sealing the deal with someone.

[Asker]

cool

[Chris_Morgan]

I imagine that's something you discuss very early on, like the 2nd date. You don't want to waste his time if the guy is the monogamous type and he doesn't like that idea at all.

I've never done that kind of thing, I'm scared of STDs and I wouldn't want to give my girlfriend oral if she's been having sex recently with other men. I would honestly feel disrespected just being in that situation.

[SlothySlob]

Polyamory is a thing, and some people can do it. The way you want it is not going to happen. At any point he's going to be just a tad bit more romantic with one of the girls and you'll start wondering if he's railing her too, slowly but surely the whole charade will fall apart.

[Truthatanycost]

Only a simp with zero options would even consider that (but there are plenty of simps around). I'd laugh my head of if any girl even suggested such a thing. I'd laugh so much...

[Asker]

The reason I want that is because I don't want to end up cheating. I broke up last year for that reason. Hypothetically speaking, if I were forced to stay in a typical monogamous relationship, I might end up cheating.

[Anonymous]

That's just called breaking up and being single. Sex with the ex is a thing. Since you're preemptively thinking about this instead instead of trying to make an existing relationship work, it is recommended you should stay away from relationships and stick to polyamory.

Either that, or say you prefer an open relationship before dating that person so you don't waste your time with unnecessary drama and possibly ruining your reputation.

[Asker]

This also part of what I would want too (this scenario):
Have a boyfriend, then we agreed I'm going to be seeing another guy. Or my boyfriend pretends to show up at the same mall I'm seeing the other guy just in time to see us kissing. But he would already know in advance and is just pretending (acting) to be upset but isn't. Same vice-versa.

[Asker]

Then he tells the other guy it's all part of the acting and he's cool with it.

[FilmGuy93]

Most guys won't be down with that in practice, even if they conceptually agree to it. I'd be cool with that, but I'm definitely not a "normal" guy.

All you can do is clearly state your desires and hope for the best.

[Ironic_Method]

Polyamory is a thing. Look into it! I will tell you that it's harder to make it work as it requires impeccable honesty and communication which most people are not equipped with. But when it works it's amazing.

[tzdc21]

Very few guys would be okay with that. And a guy who has self respect would DAMN sure not take that deal.

[Summeroflove]

You don’t. I would leave immediately if a girl said that

[Asker]

But it's not fun only having a boyfriend and then breaking up because you don't want to end up cheating. I would like this scene:
Have a boyfriend, then we agreed I'm going to be seeing another guy. Or my boyfriend pretends to show up at the same mall I'm seeing the other guy just in time to see us kissing. But he would already know in advance and is just pretending (acting) to be upset but isn't. Same vice-versa.

[Asker]

Then he tells the other guy it's all part of the acting and he's cool with it.

[Summeroflove]

Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to. You’re just a troll coming here to start a problem. I knew you were based off the question.

You didn’t like the answer you got. So you’re here with these lengthy comments trying to get me to tell you the answer you want to hear. It’s not gonna happen. Have a great day.

Enjoy your sad life.

[Danny_dan92]

Hate to break it too you, just cause you agree to have an “open relationship” doesn’t mean that you sleeping with others when you have a “boyfriend/girlfriend” isn’t cheating.

[TakingitEasy15243]

It's actually pretty common, I'm usually upfront about it. I'm definitely okay with it but not all guys by any means

[exitseven]

I think you should tell him today. He needs to know the truth.. I would not be okay with this.

[Asker]

So I should tell him right on our 1st date?

[exitseven]

yes, as soon as possible.

[Berethor]

Sounds slutty, and only beta males would agree to that, tell him as soon as possible.

[BJP21]

Before he puts the engagement ring on it let him know. This could end up in an emotional disaster if you dont communicate that.

[Asker]

If anyone ever mentions the words engagement ring or marriage, I'm either yawning or running out the door fast. That's how I feel when some of my family members pester me with it at the table. I'm minding my own business and waiting for a call to hang out with my friends (either to a party or movies) when all of the sudden that topic starts again.

[Asker]

Another word that would make me run out the exit door fast is ''baby''.

[BJP21]

Remember every guy and girl is different in regards to the open relationship.

[TroyDT2]

Just tell him. Most won't be okay with being your "boyfriend" but having to share you, but some will.

[MountAverage]

Don't you think it would be quite unfair of you to not tell a guy from the very beginning?

[Asker]

On the 1st date?

[MountAverage]

Yes. For many, if not most people an open relationship is a deal breaker. So it's only fair to be upfront about it.

[Jerre]

Yes, I do that. Go ahead and tell him, then date others.

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

You don't

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS, ARE NOT RELATIONSHIPS

THEYRE FUCK BUDDIES

[Cheerfull009]

If you like to sex with one, then why you want other boys for relationship?

[Asker]

I don't want a monogamous relationship where it's either breaking up or cheating. I don't want to cheat. I like the idea of a boyfriend catching me kissing someone else or going out a date with another guy, then he pretends to be upset (but it's all an act) and I pretend to be sorry. Then we tell the other guy it's just acting and everyone is ok.

[ambayside]

Up front is best. There are apps like feeld that are designed for exactly this.

[DJB72]

As soon as you want him to leave.

[Asker]

Eventually there must be a willing guy that will accept that deal.

[DJB72]

No decent guy is going to agree to that. Sorry but good guys don't want to share their girl

[Asker]

Yet there are a bit more willing women that accept the deal when guys ask for the same. Yet some of those very same guys that expect us to share them can't do the same in return. Hypocritical don't you think?

[Asker]

Very hard to find a non-hypocritical man that would be ok with the deal. I would wish this scenario to play out:
Have a boyfriend, then we agreed I'm going to be seeing another guy. Or my boyfriend pretends to show up at the same mall I'm seeing the other guy just in time to see us kissing. Then I'm pretending to be the remorseful girlfriend asking for forgiveness and begging him to take me back. But he would already know in advance (both the day and timing) and is just pretending (acting) to be upset but isn't. Same vice-versa.
Then he tells the other guy it's all part of the acting and he's cool with it.

[DJB72]

That's the point. No decent guy is going to ask for an open relationship.

And sorry, but if you want one I'd question if you're the decent girl. Truth is if you were really open about it, would you be asking anonymously? You don't need to answer me, but you need to have that answer.

[Talksik6]

Id be ok with it. We can share guys and girls idc