Hi there i’ve just got my first boyfriend! whoop whoop! lol. Anyway i’m not really sure what to do say or text and stuff. i’m meeting him to go out for lunch Tuesday but i’m nervous! i’ve never dated or kissed anyone before so if he does lean in I don't know how to react. We’ve been friends for a while and are close and stuff but now i’m getting scared about how i’m supposed to be as his girlfriend.
anyway any advice would be really helpful!
S
Any guy worth spending time with was attracted to you for who you are, so just be yourself. You don't want to become someone different, just because you're on a date. If you go on a date with an ice skater, would you expect him to take you roller skating?
This is a time to get to know each other. This isn't a race to see how far and fast you can go. Show curiosity to know him deeper. Ask him to share how he got into his interests or talents. Find out what's important to him. Seek clarification if he gives you vague/general responses. Ask him what he sees as the differences between your old status as friends and your new status. Show him you truly want to see everything through his eyes. Make sure he feels safe; never accuse, blame, criticize, demand or tell him what he should or shouldn't do.
A hug and a peck is fine, but never assume you have to pay him for the date with any type of performance. Relationships that build slowly tend to be more stable and long-lasting than ones that are rushed, yet you want to be able to measure the growth without having to watch time-lapsed photography over eons.
Well, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but it sounds like you do want to kiss him. Don't worry about doing it exactly correct (that will come quickly with practice), just enjoy it and don't be nervous or self-conscious.
Just be yourself is the most important thing. You want him to get to know the real you. That is important in the beginning of a relationship to make sure the two of you mesh personality wise.
It is also not a bad thing to have a few talking points stashed in your head if there is an awkward silence. Just 2-3 things you can bring up. I would focus on a few things that you know he is into that will get him talking.
Maybe he likes sports. Maybe a hobby. Things about his family. Perhaps if they holiday, where do they like to go or what would be his dream vacation. Not hard to come up with a few ideas.
It is the first of many steps and you don’t need to worry. Not everything will click on the first couple of dates. You are feeling each other out right now. I hope you have fun! Good luck to the two of you. 🙂
Opinion
4Opinion
Take it slow. Smile and talk slowly. Where’s lunch?
Just be straight forward with whatever you want to say to him or with whatever you want him to know for how you feel about stuff. Don't rely on hints. Being straight forward usually works best for guys.
I hope the best for you. I really do. I'm burned out on believing in anything innocent without some strategic plan.
Just be honest and yourself and remember he has feelings and you'll be fine. Love isn't perfect. But it should always be authentic. Otherwise there's no point.
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