Do you think men who refuse to date single moms are very shallow or they just have standards or both or neither?

[Rab1901]

Just curious

Very shallow

They just have standards

Both

Neither

[Avicenna]

They are smart to avoid doing that. Dating a single mom is generally a financial sinkhole, very chaotic and ropes you into doing at least some things that the biological father should be doing (either because he doesn't care or the mother is playing keep away).

[Avicenna]

Some guys have no option but to date a single mom, or else they'd be single a lot more often, but it should be avoided as much as possible.

[DizzyDesii]

Depends on the guy. My mom is a single mom and she always financially supported her kids on her own. Even worse, she supported some of the guys too. One dude did her dirty and even cheated on her in the truck that she bought him. My sis liked him but i always gave him a hard time because i was territorial. He begged my mom for a kid of his own despite her saying she didn't want anymore kids from the get go. He knew her tubes were tied and he told her that he wouldn't propose until she gave him a kid. Pretty ass backwards. So they dated for 8 years (which was dumb on her part for dating someone that long without getting a ring AND dumb on his part since she already had her tubes tied).

[Avicenna]

@DizzyDesii: Your mom must be a good one because she raised you, but look what a clown she got. It’s often guys like that that single moms get.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea she prob felt like she had to settle. But then there was a time she got a good Christian man who was also a single parent and she did him dirty and ghosted him. It was crazy because she wanted him for years, got him, and then didn't like that he was a good two shoes who wouldn't put out until he was married again. You’d think thats what she’d want in a man but nope she left him for some college crush who left her to marry someone. And now that that guy had divorced, she wanted him. But he did her dirty a second time and got back with his wife. I bet she wish she wouldve chose the good guy 🤣

[Avicenna]

@DizzyDesii: No kidding. It’s rare to get one of those if you’re a single mom

[Aerissa_Jade]

Women do it too, there was a time I tried dating men with kids and they had joint custody but I was always shoved aside for them first. I evolved and decided not to, simply because I didn't want to be an after thought and I also did not want to make him choose between me and his child.

[DizzyDesii]

Depends on their reasoning. Sometimes i say I’d date a single father of one but no more than that. And the child would have to be between the ages of 2-7. But other times i say, i rather not date a single father because I’d like to feel that i come first until we have kids of our own

[Avicenna]

I have four kids, so if they all lived with me, I wouldn’t even try to date. They’re all good kids, but that would be too much to ask a woman to put up with.

[DizzyDesii]

@Avicenna yea if i had kids, i’d either stay single OR only go for other single parents OR go for guys who want kids but can't conceive

[Avicenna]

Honestly, I wouldn’t even try that. My mom was a single mom too and she never dated until my sister was in college.
Other single parents means drama and chaos.

[DizzyDesii]

@Avicenna heeeck no lol. I couldnt wait til they reached college. But i’d wait til the age they start dating themselves. When i started dating at 15, i wasn't trying to ruin my moms relationship as much anymore 😂

[Avicenna]

I see what you mean

[Avicenna]

By the time my youngest is 15, I’ll be 64

[DizzyDesii]

@Avicenna yea no do not wait around that long 😂 I’ll say this. I’ll likely become a single mom by choice if i go through with this invitro stuff. If i do, i dont intend to actively seek out a future boyfriend/husband. If they come, they just come

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you’ve got it planned out

[midnightmoon05]

I can see why so many are discouraged. Such hot mess out there.
There are also lots of success stories out there.

[Jay3344]

I think that taking on the responsibility of potentially being a father to a child that isn’t yours biologically can drive many men away. Some single moms are totally worth it though, so don’t set rules for yourself would be my advice and make decisions based on how you feel too.

[fonduegirl]

Depends on his reasoning.

"I don't see myself as a good father figure" is okay, "fatherhood doesn't suit me" is also okay, them continuing the interaction by becoming friends with the single mom is ideal, but "oh you already got a bun in the oven eh?" Or "dang! I ain't raising someone else's crotch fruit" etc is really, really insulting.

[midnightmoon05]

I think many don’t know how to pick good/quality women. They can be single moms or single women.
prob. more single moms bring so much drama. I read all about these daddy/mommy issues…sight…It’s unnecessary if they are truly living for their children instead of their selfish needs…then life would be much more pleasant for all and our future generations.

[anonpabo]

i think its just that some people aren't prepared for the responsibility of raising a child and thats ok. if they truly wanted to be with the mother than her being a single mom shouldn't be as much of an obstacle for him

[Anonymous]

If wanting to protect one's self is shallow then so be it.

Fathers have virtually no rights in parenting, and few in marriage. Why in the world would a man choose to subject himself to that for someone else's children?

Also, unless a single mother is widowed, there is almost always a story behind there that reflects badly on her choices and/or her character. It's a red flag that should not be ignored.

[Rosamedijo]

I guess each guy would have their reasons. Putting myself in there shoes it would really depend how many children the woman has and there ages. Being with a single mom Also means loving her and loving and caring for her kids so that really is a big decision and risk to take. I personally as a woman I never liked dating single men with small children because when there small you have to deal with mama drama trouble and there is just way to much fish in the sea to deal with that

[Robbey]

I don’t think it’s an issue of either shallowness or standards. Some people just don’t want the responsibility.

[Berethor]

It's not shallow to not want to raise other man's children, it's logical.

[TheUniqueOne96]

They have standards and it's hardly unrealistic, unlike some other ones that people have.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Neither. Lol what type of standard? Do tell me

[LimitedBenefits101]

So you want men to be responsibility for other people's kids? gtfo.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You’re only shallow if you’re standards are high, ZINGO!! Get it?

[Rockstarrrrr]

They have standards... It's only okay if you're old or also have children yourself.. Other than that it's a really bad deal

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Totally depends the type of single mom.

Single moms who husband has died via illness, military combat or accident is totally different from a single mom who was whoring around.

[Anonymous]

They are weak, childish and don't want to deal with responsibility.

[bamesjond0069]

Never date single moms. They are all bad news.

[Anonymous]

Dating a mom is bad. All the attention she gives to her son is non given blowjobs

[Anonymous]

Not everyone wants to be obligated to children, their body their choice

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

men shouldn't be expected to do anything