Why are people (especially girls/women) a bit too brutal/harsh when rejecting someone?

[Anonymous]

I have focused on girls/women as I am a guy and I would face a romantic relationship rejection only from the opposite sex.

Updates

+1 y

Please bear in mind that this question does in no way, from any imaginable angle, asked with misogyny in mind, heart, or even thought about it that way. I don't simply work like that.

For those women/girls who think this is stereotypical or those who are offended or feel upset, please feel absolutely free to correct me, as it is not only I, but other people should also know what you actually think.

And please don't be hypocritical. Not cool.

Updates

+1 y

It was literally completely unexpected for this question to be selected as a 'Great' question by G@G content team. But it got selected as one!😄✌️
I was already thinking that this question was a bit controversial, and I was afraid too, but then also, I posted it.

[ManOnFire]

You don't have to explain yourself by proving that you don't hate women. Whoever doesn't like what you're saying or feels offended can move on to other topics that their sensitivities can handle.

Part of them rejecting guys like this is an ego thing. They like being able to brush off someone who is interested in them but they're not interested in him. A fact of life is that when you feed someone's ego - even not knowing it - it actually empowers them to want to be cruel, because they think the people who are bowing down to them are at their mercy.

But it's also because a lot of women are not taught to have manners in turning a guy down. They are programmed by feministic influence to see a man as threatening or alarming because he's into her and she's not into him, so a woman will be downright rude and unnecessary in how they approach the situation. And as a society we let this behavior in women slide, especially when we try to say that a guy "must've done something" to make a woman act like that. 8 times out of 10, men are not being the pushy, inappropriate creeps that women assume they are, it's just that they're egotistically programmed to assume it. Just because you're not attracted to someone and don't want to date them, doesn't give you a right to have rude behavior towards them.

[OlderAndWiser]

I suspect there are a variety of reasons.

1. As @TacosRAwesome suggested, some women are just bitches; they have an excess of bitch gas and if they don't let it out, they might explode.

2. Some women have probably tried the nice girl approach and had guys interpret that as a "soft" no, so they kept pursuing her. A little bit of that goes a long way!

3. Some girls have probably had guys go postal when they got rejected, so they are just automatically going into confrontation mode.

4. Of course, not all girls go into brute mode when rejecting a guy.

[Asker]

The 2nd and 3rd points did not even come to my mind!!😱 Thanks!
The 3rd point, guys seem creepy there.

[Pinay_ako]

Some yes. Not me. It’s one of the most difficult things to do in my life to reject or turn someone down. One time, I had this guy literally ask me out everyday. One day he came over to my dorm. I had my best friend answer the door while I hid in the closet 😂. I had her lie to him that we’re lesbians and lovers so back off my girlfriend. He didn’t believe it at first but I wasn’t going to make out with my bestie to prove a point. I just told him at the band practice, I’m not into him and my heart ❤️ Is taken. Also, one co worker asked me out and I told him straight up, I have a single girl friend who’s available. The rest is history, they’re now married with 2 kids 😂. I’m not gonna let a good man go to waste. But I certainly won’t lead someone on. However, some people mistake my friendliness as flirting.

[Asker]

It is often realized that a particular girl was just being friendly. Not flirtatious.

How can a guy differentiate between those two according to you? A few tips?

[Pinay_ako]

This will make a good question. Ask it and I will answer there

[Asker]

Thanks to you, I got my today's question.

It is often realized that a particular girl was just being friendly. Not flirtatious. How can a guy differentiate between those two behaviors? ↗

[ShellyB]

I try to be nice but I might be a little mean if I am worried they won't get the message and will keep trying when I do not want them to keep trying. But generally I try to be understanding. I have friends who honestly enjoy being harsh in this situation though, I think it's an ego boost or like a game who can brag about being the harshest.

[Asker]

Appreciate your understanding nature.👍
Do you think their ego boost will vanish with age or is it here to stay?

[DoctorSex]

In my old profession I'd be asked by women on a daily basis for my number. All it took was a "I'm to be married to my second wife soon but thank you for showing interest" .

The same went with female friends I worked with. When they were assertive and stated they had a boyfriend and were getting married, most men U-turned. Another great excuse is. "I would but I'm pregnant Babe and I'm still going through stress as to who the father is" that was a great one to make the guys run!

There's literally no reason to be rude as there's so many fun ways of of scaring people away lol

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Pegases]

Just allow it to make you better. Truth is, there are a lot more women now with inflated egos due to social media, and these women usually lack emotional intelligence, and thus do not have the capacity to be polite to someone they aren't interested in. It's the same level of immaturity that comes with people that can't see a reason to treat a waiter/waitress or janitor like a human being. How a woman acts in these instances will always tell you what kind of woman she is, so don't let the rejection get to you. She did you a favor. Simply see it for what it is and get back out there and be your best self.

[fonduegirl]

I'm only harsh when I once turn someone down and they think to themselves "I'll ask this same question later! I'll wear her down!"... that's how things get brutal. I'm not typically mean to anyone who's expressed interest in me of any form, I'm only enraged when they can't take no for an answer and confuse persistence with harassment. I think it wouldn't hurt for guys to take it down a notch.

[Asker]

Not accepting rejection is the most immature thing to do, I believe. Just like a child.

[fonduegirl]

Yeah.

[silvermoon84]

I can’t answer for every woman, but me personally, I try not to be nasty when rejecting someone. I try to take the guys feelings into consideration and I’ll politely tell him that I’m not interested. I’m only rude when he does some asshole thing like negging me, or if he continues to ask me out despite me politely telling him “no thanks”. I’ve been rudely rejected myself in the past. It only happened one time, but I know what it feels like, so I try not to to be that way myself.

[Anonymous]

I’ll be frank and straight forward but I don’t want to make a big thing about this. I used to support feminism for years, I supported politicians and different parties on their views about things. The older I got, the more I learned in university, the more I critically analyzed things myself. I realize how screwed up and disconnected society is. I don’t know why women and girls do it but it’s quite clear it’s based on 3 things — 1) past experiences of how previous guys have acted. Maybe they behaved poorly in response to her rejection so that caused more frustration in her. 2) immaturity on her end, she doesn’t know how to conduct herself. 3) She goes based on an assumption — reject a guy regardless because he’s not worth my time. I don’t believe in women or girls being forced to like someone or talk to someone or accept someone. But if I didn’t like a girl I would tell her in the nicest way possible.

[mermaidrocketship]

I think women are often afraid of giving mixed signals, so we can be unnecessarily harsh. Sometimes we’re rude if we think a guy is creepy just to get him to leave us alone. I’ve done that. Sometimes I’ve been uneasy by a guy’s behavior and I get a tad aggressive to make sure he gets the point.

[Horse-girl]

I think it probably is to make themselves seem like they have lots of choice. I personally would never humiliate someone for having feelings for me it's cruel.

[Asker]

What do you think? Do girlsbhave lots of choices practically? I mean population wise, girls seem to have choices. What do you think?

[Horse-girl]

I think that girls definitely have it easier than guys dating wise.

[Asker]

I definitely agree with that one.

[PinkRose24]

I'm always respectful and kind when I reject a guy. And every guy has been respectful and mature when I reject them. The only time I made a grossed out face at a guy when he asked for my number is because before he asked me for my number he said "don't freak out" it got on my nerves like he was assuming how I was going to react. Like I'm not going to get freaked out if he asked my for my number but I got annoyed that he said that.

[TacosRAwesome]

Some women are bitches and just enjoy harshly rejecting men. But sometimes men don't accept the rejection and need to be told harshly to get lost.

[Asker]

That is true!!! I have seen guys refusing to get rejected too!

[TacosRAwesome]

Yeah exactly.

[MzAsh]

I try to be nice about, but some men don’t get the picture. They’ll try harder. Or they just don’t care I have a man and that pisses me off so they get bitchy me.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't think women are generally harsh when they reject you. Women who are like that are pretty easy to avoid though.

[Asker]

That's true. They are quite easy to recognize. But some guys are just too blind I guess!😅

[Telekinetic-Potato]

To be fair, it's can be hard to resist talking to someone you find attractive and at the end of the day there's not much wrong with shooting your shot

[Asker]

Trying matters. True. Not much harm in it for sure!

[Chazmatazz269]

Some guys don’t take seriously gentle rejection. Women who have experienced this are more likely to be firm, or downright rude.

[Asker]

They are directly to the point.

[menina]

They probably don't like being asked out or they think they're superior.

[Asker]

I find it funny that people have attitude regarding something that has been gifted to them naturally, and not earned by themselves.

[Asker]

Guys and girls both.

[menina]

Yeah, I guess it is too.

[Vampirelover_12]

Because it's an insult to the time and effort we put into our appearances. Not even just that. You all stick a middle finger in our faces when we show you all basic feelings.

It's an insult to our femininity. We want YOU. Not some other mother fucker. YOU.

[Nikki1989]

I am always nice to people, but people almost always take it the wrong way.

[Asker]

That is genuinely a problem. People just take advantage of your niceness.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it happens like that sometimes.

[DenizLikesTennis]

It's like when you being nice to guys, they see it as a sign of interest and chase you

[cth96190]

Women enjoy being bitches and shredding men.
Young men should ignore women and pursue their purpose in life.
Women are not worth the effort, cost and considerable risk.
After 30 those bitchy party girls who told you to FOAD when they were 20 will come sniffing around.
Treat them with the disdain with which they treated you.

[Anonymous]

Consider they have revealed their ugly personalities early on. If it happens to you, don't worry about it, you have dodged a bullet or 2. Imagine the poor bastard being fucking MARRIED to them! 😂😝😝

Run like it's Dead by Daylight and the exit gates are open!

[Anonymous]

What's sad about your question is women rarely face the kind of rejection men face. That's why they don't see it as a big deal. They rarely if ever hear the word "no".

[Asker]

That's true.

[MCheetah]

True. Many lack empathy.

[NathanDavis]

I do think it is quite immature of you to make this a thing about "all women and girls"

and then do that solely on your limited personal experience, if any...

not cool...

[Asker]

It is not only my personal experience but my friends too.

[Asker]

But still, you are right, to some degree.

[NathanDavis]

let me ask you something... are you and your friends just going around asking girls to be your girlfriends just like that?

or worse... are you all going around proposing girls to marry you guys just because you like them?

I mean, how many times could you have been rejected that you feel the need to come here and bash all women and all girls as whole?

one girl, two girls? 60 girls in a row?

[Asker]

We have a very very wide network ranging from institutes to institutes and these things keep on happening everywhere every time, in every year, from 1st to 4th year.

And agreed, not all are like that, but some are and they get highlighted and inadvertently are seen as gender representatives by most people. Setting up a bad example in the process.

[NathanDavis]

you did not answer my question though...

are all of you asking women to marry you guys just because? or are you guys out and asking girls to be your girlfriends or go out just because you like them?

because if this is the case, then you are all immature, desperate and entitled >> throwing a blanket here

[Asker]

Definitely not about marriage.
Some about girlfriends.
All about liking the girls.

And teenage people are the ones who are literally immature, in the majority. And meanest too. And some people do not become mature even after their teenage years. What is their mentality, is my question.

[NathanDavis]

well... just the fact that are over 20 years old and now focusing on teenage girls, that does say a lot about your level of maturity...

[Asker]

It is just that people do not really change, their condition changes. People remain the same.

[NathanDavis]

so... are you going to spend all of your 20's blaming your own lack of "fortune"... on teen girls?

is that what you and your "network of many guys across institutes" are planning to do?

because that indeed looks a lot like misogyny spreading schools

also, do you know which are the ones who are susceptible to these misogynistic idas? only the weaker man fall for these ideas, so if this the case... maybe you should reconsider the type of circles and connections you make with these people

you would not want to end just like another incel that spends years and years avoiding responsibility and just blaming it all on teen girls

[Asker]

Misogyny is hating girls without any concrete reason. Or for some personal reason.
I am simply asking for the mentality of the select section of girls. Nothing else.

And people have given their opinions, their own personal preferences too.

[NathanDavis]

yes and many of them who hate women do start exactly like this...

looking for reasons to blame them in large groups... and avoid your own responsibility as an individual and as a man

[Asker]

You are wrong.

I am willing to ask them about this behavior by a section of their own gender. I am willing to work with them to find a probable solution to it. Without assuming anything.

And assumption is what a misogynyst would do, clearly. That is a mistake other people do, that I will never do.

[NathanDavis]

but you're already blaming them as a whole...

and all that based on your personal failure

you do judge them first, and ask later... that's a big mistake because it prevents you from truly understanding, if you start with prejudice in the first place

[Asker]

And women have admitted that they are harsh in some cases and gave justification for the same too. Which is just what I initially wanted. Nothing extra.

Personal failure does not come in it, as, a rejection is a very common thing.

Initial judging is what everyone does. But noteverybody is willing to modify the result as per the person in front of them.

I understand that each person is unique, not a part of a horde. Hence, I reset the slate for each person, but with some points intact that can be subjected to changes, and are changed.

[NathanDavis]

initial judging might be natural...

but negative prejudice from the get go... that's just a tendency

and this is a tendency mostly observed from incels, misogynists and all that sausage fest community of the MGTOW

[Asker]

What is MGTOW?

[Asker]

I have already been rejected, and that too like crazyily.
But I did not let that experience come in between when interacting with girls. They did nothing in it. Don't even know it. All cool.

But when I saw other people, many people experiencing the same, I thought about asking the question directly.

[NathanDavis]

it is a very very wide network ranging from institutes to institutes of men who keep blaming their bad experiences on women...

[Asker]

I have a feeling that you failed to understand the motive behind the question.

Even girls understood just what exactly was expected and gave their opinions. They understood it perfectly.

[NathanDavis]

which is only going to reinforce your perspective that you are right

and that it is ESPECIALLY WOMEN being brutal and harsh on all of you poor boys...

[Asker]

Just read those opinions. They are really good, and insightful too.

[NathanDavis]

I did however, I noticed something... you did give a like and also engages with the opinions that will mostly side with your prejudice that "women are this or that"

but I also noticed that @MzAsh gave you an absolutely honest response that comes from actual experience in her life, and also one that makes sense and it gives a very clear insight on why men can also be the responsible ones when this happens

and yet, her opinion is the one with no likes but even disliked answer... you completely ignored it as well, because it does not align with your narrative, you didn't engage with her either to understand more of her very valid input

so I ask why... because you missed it entirely? because you're not interested on her experience? or just because it does not align with your already prejudiced perspective?

which one is it?

[Asker]

That experience of hers has been said by many girls. I simply missed her opinion as it was pretty similar to other responses.

That simple.

[Asker]

Look at @shellyb response. I am talkong about people like her friends.
Definitely not people like her. In fact people like her are much kiked and appreciated for their considerate behavior.

[NathanDavis]

well, then I do hope that you also get her ver real and valid insight as well

just to balance things out... it is not only ALL AND ESPECIALLY WOMENS fault... there is also responsibility that needs to be addressed by men and their actions

[Asker]

Sure!

[rienna888]

Umm to be honest it’s because I’m not attracted to them and the thought of being with them disgusts me. I know it’s really hurtful but humanity is brutal.

[rienna888]

Also because men are the ones usually asking girls out, so I guess they never experienced rejection as much as men. So they become more brutal

[tonamimargaux]

oh yeah because we don't like to sugar coat while rejecting and trying to keep them hanging around for sport like most men do.

[MCheetah]

They lack empathy and tend to overall be generally sh*tty/grumpy/rotten people.

[MCheetah]

Some of the other answers are pretty good, too.

1. They're b*tches.
2. Some guys can't take no for an answer.
3. Some girls get a power-trip from it.
4. Some girls are scared/afraid of men.
5. They do it as "revenge/payback" to separate men who have rejected them.

[Anonymous]

First off you have to understand men don't have feelings to women unless they're dating. And thier feelings only matter then because his feelings are connected to hers.

The problem isn't whether women are harsh in rejection or not (in fact they should be harsher). The problem is because men have no feelings to them they can send any mixed signal they want and that's fair game to them. It's women's ambiguity that actually cause them so many problems.

[Ninania]

Cause most guys don't respect "no" if it's sugarcoated.

[Steamnir]

Because they tried to be respectful to other people and they didn't take no for an answer so they assumed everyone's same

[zagor]

I think some are afraid the message will be misunderstood if they're too nice. With some justification.

[TroyDT2]

I rarely get that, and if I do I just smile and walk away knowing it's her loss.

[dustybiker]

Experience. Past hurt. These things make people defensive.

[UnknownSwede]

Without reading other replies I'm guessing it is to make it extra clear that they don't have any interest in the person, to not have the person keep trying.

[lightbulb27]

they generally aren't. if so, I'd attribute to alcohol.

[Zolly99999]

I have never been mean while rejecting anyone.. I know what it feels like and it sucks.

[Andres77]

Is that a really common thing?

[Andres77]

I mean the harsh rejection. Not just rejection

[Asker]

Many girls reject quietly but then go on spreading the news like wildfire. I think that is even harsher than spot-on rejection.
Some boys are also like that, but since the majority of girls get proposed to or confessed to, their proportion, in this case, is larger than that of guys.

Do you think I am correct or wrong here?

[Iron_Man]

Because they are mean people