I feel sucky bc I don't have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

hi guys! i've been feeling kind of sad lately bc some of my friends have bfs/gfs, including one of my best friends. everyones getting these rlly cute homecoming proposals while i dont even have a date. i mean dont get me wrong i love going to hoco with my friends but like i kinda wish someone would ask me.

i dated a guy before but only for like a week but i rlly liked him and it took more time to get over him than the time we were together. i remember also being happy that i would finally have a date to go to dances with, and ofc, that never happened.

there have been a few guys before that i talked to, or guys that liked me and i liked them too (even if we didn't end up dating) but right now it seems like literally no guys have an interest in me at all (and i feel like i can usually tell when a guy likes me?). even for the guys i was slightly interested in, none of them really seemed to care at all.

on top of all this, i just found out a guy that liked me all of last year (and i liked him back) who i started talking to got a girlfriend and did a really sweet hoco proposal ;-; and like idek what to do at this point bc i feel so LONELY

pls give me advice i know being in a relationship doesn't matter in hs but it just doesn't feel that way! thank you!

[SnowedIn]

Hi! You are totally normal to feel this way. (FYI, guys feel this way too. Maybe not as much or as hard, but they do.). First, you said that you know this doesn't matter in HS -- but it does and that's okay. Yes, it isn't the most important thing but it is important to you and what's important to you is valid. Don't push it or rush it, but also you control some things. Make friends and be friends and talk to guys. When you talk to them and interact with them, it puts you on their radar. Also, be the best you you can be. Don't change for them (or anyone) but be you. And, finally, it's okay to feel sucky. Just don't wallow in it and let it control you. Make sure you find those fun things that make you feel great and do those and those friends who validate you and do those things and hang out with those friends. That/they will make you feel great.

[Asker]

this is such a kind response! thank you so much for the advice, this is actually very helpful and comforting :))

[chicosuave]

Wtf is wrong with u. Your too young to have a boyfriend. You have a long life ahead of you. Many guys will ask you out when you get older.

[Asker]

harsh but true - i feel that way sometimes but its hard bc it feels like everyone around me is getting in relationships, like i literally know people who made high school relationships into marriage when they got older, and i feel like i could never have that. harder bc im a romantic haha

[Anonymous]

this will continue as you get older. it turns into the "i feel sucky because i don't have a husband and my friends do". it can really get you down if you let it. it sucks big time, i know!

just gotta be comfortable being by yourself for the time being. comparing yourself to others is the worse disservice you can do to yourself.

[Asker]

thanks for the advice - this is def true! i'm trying to be comfortable being myself. i've been told i come across as confident and i do feel comfortable in my skin, but i feel like im always comparing myself w others bc it just seems like so many people are in relationships or talking to guys and rn i have none of that - however, taking ur advice, i will try to stop comparing myself to others

[Stevefiveo]

Hmm, if you can't find someone in your school maybe try the mall or somewhere else where people hang out.

[OddBeMe]

where are you looking.

fyi not hitting on you. you're underage. :)

[Asker]

i mean im not like super actively seeking out guys, but just amongst my male friends or crushes that i have, i always try to get closer (and it hasn't seemed to work lately)

[OddBeMe]

I was totally in your spot during HS. Had crushes on so many pretty friends and popular girls in school. With raging hormones and inexperience in talking to the other gender I was doomed.

So I hung up hormones, and just focused on talking to girls and people for that matter. I’m more an introvert so this was good training. Like exercise we need to practice talking to people when emotions are present.

My wife was having anger issues with her boss and seriously didn’t know what to do. So I literally made her mad myself for a month or two until she finally talked to me about it. And then at work when her boss came down on her, she threw an elbow without damaging her career.

Same for romance and taking to boys you have emotions for. It takes experience. So my advice: hang up your dating wishes and just befriend and talk to boys. I bet you end up having a boyfriend soon after.

[OddBeMe]

*talking to boys

[User3191989]

I hated high school, and I hated dances

But, I'm not a girl, after all, so that's likely why

[JohnK123]

Talk to meeeee I’m 16 lol

[Asker]

dude ur some rando on the internet u could literally be a 60 year old grandpa for all ik smh

[Jamie05rhs]

Aw, come on. Give him a chance lol. John is cool. (And yes, he's really 16.)

[JohnK123]

@Jamie05rhs yes idek u LMAOOO but yes I am 16… 17 Wednesday tho so if u wanna send a bday gift- nah haha but fr I am… asker, how do we know ur not some 80 year old grandma? 🤔

[Jamie05rhs]

@JohnK123 I gotchu, dawg. 😎

[Asker]

LOL valid i could be an 80 yeaer old grandma, and if ur acc 16 then happy almost bday!!

[JohnK123]

Exactly 😁😁
And thanks!

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

How badly do you want one?

[Asker]

aaah its just like i would like the support, i hear my freinds talking about how nice it is to spend time w their bfs and when theyre all out spending time w their bfs, i have like no where to go - plus i would love to have someone like that in my life - but i'm not like dying for it, you know?