Depressed because I don't have a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I know it sounds stupid but its true. My family gives great emotional support and I have a good circle of close friends, but I feel like I'm missing a close intimate relationship. I've always had anxiety when it comes to talking to girls so I don't have any female friends. I just feel like I'm missing a deep emotional or tactile relationship and I don't know what to do about it.

[Alyssa11]

Booooooooooy I am the same! You are not alone.

Some of us are just wired this way - we love close, intimate relationships and sharing strong bonds/emotional connections with someone.

My best advice for you would be not to settle. You mentioned that you're shy to approach women but you have to realise that in order to get a girlfriend you MUST overcome that fear. Focus on finding the RIGHT person for you, and then you'll realise that rejection would be the worst case scenario. So what if it was? You move onto the next person and you're one step closer to the RIGHT person.
And believe me, being with the wrong person is a lot more lonely than being alone.

Meanwhile keep yourself busy. Use this time to focus on your goals and develop the traits you want in a partner. You have to be comfortable and happy to be alone (although there's nothing wrong with simultaneously wanting a girlfriend). But it shouldn't make you feel depressed. It will happen at the right time.

Keep focussing on you, your career, your hobbies and that person will come into your life I promise.

[btbc92]

Learn to be happy and love yourself. Until you do, it'll be easy for you to get a girlfriend because people today I just desperate for anybody's. But that doesn't guarantee it will be a long lasting relationship or something that's going to last let alone Be Healthy. What you're going through is normal but that's no logical reason to seek a partner. You got to be secure in yourself. If you're not learning to accept the love that you have around you, you're going to have a very hard time accepting the love from somebody else is supposed to be who's your dating. You should not be seeking a girlfriend. You should be seeking a wife. A girlfriend is not the ultimate goal. Having a spouse is if that is what you seek. because girlfriends come and go. A wife should be somebody who stays forever. Do you not have any female friends who would meet such a requirement?

[Asker]

I do accept the people who are in my life right now and I'm very grateful for them. Intimacy, the feeling of being needed, the sensation of touch, someone to hold, to care for, for to look after, someone who I can share all of my deepest feelings and thoughts with, thats what I'm missing.

[btbc92]

You have that with your friends and family. Well all those things made the things that you desire, but again you have to understand why you had those Desires in the first place. Because if you don't fully understand those desires you may hurt somebody else with it.

1. You have intimacy with your family and friends do you not? If you don't then you have to really evaluate how you were when you were a child. It could be something else missing. Because if you feel complete as a person, then you have a higher chance of attracting the right kind of person in your life. But if you don't feel complete as a person, then you have to learn to be complete.
2. Are you not needed by your friends and family? Again, you can receive that from everybody. But the feeling of being needed is often signs of something else. It's great to feel needed. I'm the type of person that is a giver and I have to still need it in a sentence. But I understand what those needs come from. Something that is built in me to do.

3. Now if you're talkin about sensation of touch your talk about sensuality. If all the things that you are saying that you saying you to do you desire a sex partner. Against there's nothing wrong with that. But you got to make sure those desires are aligned with what most important for your life. Because of you desire that then you must make sure you are stable as a man first. That means you must learn to be a provider by start providing for yourself, you got to learn to be a protector which means you better learn how to defend yourself in fight, and you need to learn to be the head of the home and be a leader which means you need to develop the leadership skills and practice assertiveness. There are still things you have to develop first before you decide to take those steps.

[btbc92]

And you can share those feelings with your family and friends. If not then you may need to find new friends and people that you can connect with on a strong level. How ever again, you still have to learn to develop thing as a man. Because it's wonderful that you desire those things and that's exactly what I tell a lot of people you got to have the right reason for it and you sir or definitely qualified for marriage. But I implore you to please explore your options before you take that step into wanting to date or Court a woman. While most women will only dream and fantasize someone of used, they may not be able to accept the reality of you and it made me view heart broken and full of baggage. Many women today would not be appreciative of someone of your caliber. Solely because they have not been exposed or taught that. Many don't have secure attachments and I fear that if you start way to soon, it made damage your perspective of women and God forbid May tarnish your dreams and desires. As somebody who equally agrees and understands how you feel, I urge you to heed this warning. Seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will be added onto you.

[Asker]

seek the kingdom of god? sorry, but i didn't post my problem here so someone can force there religion on me.

[btbc92]

You say not to force religion but yet you're asking for Godly things in your life. That comes from God. God have none to do religion. Religion have nothing to do with God. God has made a decision to use religion as a way to spread the gospel so that others know of the Lord. If you're asking for Godly things then you got to do it the right way. Do it like the world and then God forbid you going to end up losing out on of everything you desire. I'm only showing you how. Or should I say I'm only telling you how. Only Jesus could show you the way. But it's up to you to make that decision for yourself. Other people can just say or just pick any girl. But then that's your choice. You are the one to do it right or you want to do it wrong. I want to see you succeed. I don't want to see you fail. But it's up to you to decide that one if you want success or failure.

[btbc92]

It's not just handed to you. It's also earned. Otherwise you going to destroy something that's beautiful and pure.

[Asker]

I dont think you quite understand the question 😑. that or you're severely over thinking it

[btbc92]

No, I understand the question. I understand very well. I'm not over-thinking it. I'm only telling you something that you need to do something for yourself before you God forbid hurt somebody with it. I am 28 years old almost 30. I think you need to reconsider how you choose to type your sentences and who you're speaking to. I have years of Godly and worldly wisdom concern family, relationships, etc. And I am telling you, what you are asking and seeking is things of the Lord. It belongs to him. It's not just yours alone. And I sense it in my spirit. Be it if know or understand it or not. I am telling you what it is. It's things of God. Because a worldly man would not be seeking the things that you are seeking. Right now you are very young and you still have a long ways to go and to learn. What if you want to tarnish those blessings that is simply your choice. But I'm telling you based on experience you going to go off of it or somebody with it if you are not careful just by you saying what you're saying.

[btbc92]

You don't always have to believe in God to know that you are worshipping God with your actions. It's in you to do. What is up to you to accept it or not, I can't force it on you. Because you don't realize that by you have no desires you going to attract a woman of Godly desire. And then what are you going to do you going to reject her or are you only going to accept her because it matches what you want? Life is not a joke. The things that you are designing and asking for is not a joke. It is a major responsibility and it is a calling in life. One that you should not fool around with or take advantage of. It means you got a strong calling in your life and your calling is not that of other men or young boys. Which also means that a young woman who has a similar calling also it's going to enter your life, prepared for you as you also are being prepared for her. And if you're not careful, you going to damage the very thing you say you want. YouTube whatever route you want to go but when you are on that path into Desiring somebody to hold at night, to yearn to hold, you don't know that you going to end up damaging that person who doesn't deserve that pain. You got to believe in yourself man. Because a woman needs a man that she can depend on. And how she's going to depend on a depressed guy who doesn't believe in God, but he is so much because of his selfish desires. And I know this to be true cuz I feel strong in the spirit man and it's been a long time since I experienced something so strong. You called for something greater and you don't see you running from it. Until you do you may not get to that place yet where you have that woman in your life. God can place her in your life tomorrow, or 30 years from now. It's your choice to decide when you're ready.

[Asker]

i dont need a 10 paragraph English essay, Im sure in due time i will find a girl who's right for me i just want to know how to not feel so down about the fact that i have yet to have an intimate relationship like that. also please stop mentioning god and stuff its getting kinda of irritating.

[btbc92]

Well, Asker, as I said the answers is all inside of you. I already told you I show you how not to feel so down it's up to you to accept that. I will respect you by not saying anything further but just know that's not a message from me doesn't message from God. Other than that that's between you and him be safe and I pray for your happiness.

[btbc92]

That's a message*

Just know that is not for you to find per se. It's already been done. Just do what you got to do to build yourself up for a second man and everything else will follow through you don't have to worry about finding. It just may be right there in front of you and you may not know that yet.

[Unit1]

Been there, done that. Girls (in my region) don't want love.
So I got used to it. I keep making more money and spend it on prostitutes.

[Alyssa11]

That sounds miserable. I'm sure there's a girl out there would appreciate your love and effort.

[Unit1]

@Alyssa11
Right? These girls don't know what they're missing :D :)
They better hurry up then. First come, first serve.

[Kaneki05]

Welp at least you have some good friends. Look at what you do have not what you don't.

[TheFlak38]

There is nothing you can do about it. Better learn to live with that or maybe get a dog. Single life better anyway.

[OddBeMe]

Learn to talk to the other half of s population. Your life will require your to interact with females regardless if you date them. What helped me was having as many female friends as possible.

[Superticklighgirl]

Are you in college right now?

[Asker]

nope