How to convince myself that I don't need a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

So I just started college and I've notice a lot of cute girls on campus and in my classes. It sometimes makes me depress because I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm really shy and quiet around new people in general, but usually more around girls because I don't know what to talk about. I've never had a friend who was a girl, never really had friends in general. Anyway I was wondering how to stop my self from feeling depressed about not having a girlfriend

[FlightAuror2]

1st) Stop thinking about women as if they're different from you, as if they're a completely different species. The ONLY thing that separates us, deep down, is a single chromosome. Women are people too, they (in general) have many of the same problems to deal with as you do (ie. bills, classes/homework, jobs, etc). What would you talk about to a guy that you wouldn't talk about to a girl? Nothing. People are people. People are very much more similar than they are different, though everyone likes to believe they're an individual or different from all the other people of their half of the sexes, they really aren't. Talk about anything

2nd) Yes, college attracts a lot of cute, beautiful, attractive, sexy, gorgeous, and wonderful young women. However, so do cafes, book stores, libraries, super markets, movie theaters, stores, etc. Beautiful women are everywhere. They may seem more concentrated in a collegiate setting, but that's normal - you have all these people coming from surrounding areas into this one tiny space. Of course you're going to have more people you're attracted to.

3rd) You don't need a girlfriend? Why is that? Why do you need one? Why are you convincing yourself that you don't need one, to live comfortably in your shyness meanwhile perpetuating your depression? It seems to me you haven't completely analyzed why it is you get these feelings of depression and loneliness. And I can't blame you, you're only what, 18? This way of thinking isn't something I'd expect from you, but these are the sorts of questions you should be asking yourself.

I get the feeling that you truly do want a girlfriend, or at the very least, friends. In order to do that, however, you'll have to be less shy. You can still be shy, but open up to people, say hi when someone sits next to you. BEING SHY DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDLY. Saying "Hi" to someone is not the same as asking them out. What do you have to lose from saying "Hello"? Nothing. If someone scoffs at you, then they're in a bad mood. You wouldn't be, and you reached out to another, which is something to be proud of yourself for, so don't let them get you down. Yes, YOU are in charge of your happiness, and having a girlfriend won't make you happy. It seems as though you (in some way) may understand this. But I think you're going about it all wrong - from the way you posted this it seems more like you're trying to convince yourself you don't need a girlfriend in order to stay shy. It's normal to feel that way, people naturally resist change, it's normal to want what's "safe" because that's what you've always known.

Ships may be built in harbor, but they aren't meant to stay there. Reach out to people. Give of yourself and you will receive a great bounty. Do you need a girlfriend to be happy? No. But if you need to convince yourself of that, then you have some growing to do. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I've been there, and I'm just going to tell you like it is - from my point of view.

Good luck

[internet_user]

I know how you feel. I have been through that before. Concentrate on your hobbies, career, sports, trekking, body building. Concentrate on looking good. Remember the better you look the more will be your confidence. And the higher your confidence level, the more girls will be drawn towards you.

I am a geek. :-) I was good in my academics. Girls used to come to me for asking doubts.

Try to get good grades. Be competitive. Girls like intelligent and smart guys. You can be one of them.

If there is a group project in your high school/college, take the lead. YOU CAN DO IT. Take part in extra cirricular activities in your college. REMEMBER, YOU CAN BE AN ALL ROUNDER.

Don't sit idle. An idle mind is a devil's workshop. Feelings like insecurity & depression develop when you are alone. Try not to be alone. Study in the library.

THINK POSITIVELY ALL THE TIME & ENJOY YOUR LIFE. Either today or tomorrow you will get a girl.

Good Luck :-)

[glamphotog]

I think you should be asking how to be more comfortable around girls...

But to answer your question, find a hobby or get a job so you keep yourself busy.

[moviedude714]

have a passion, I hate how us guys have to have a passion or hobby but girls don't need to

[Anonymous]

Wait until you have a job and finacially stable.