How do you know when to ask girl on a date?

Question

Been hanging out with a girl at work for a while now and each time I ask her to do something there's always an excuse relating to how busy she is. But she will sometimes ask me to help teach her something or hang out with her some time. I guess I like her but not sure if these are mix signals or if she would be on the same page as me.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

First off, this seems to be another situation where the girl is wanting to be in control of time and pursuit. You ask her to do something but she always has an excuse or gives you the classic "so busy" bologna. But then when she wants something or to hang out, she has no problem asking you, yet brushing off your attempts. That is absolutely not fair and you shouldn't accept that.

Second, I think as people at some point we need to move on from getting interested in our co-workers or wanting to date them. I'm not blaming you or putting you down, we've all done this from time to time. But at some point we have to stop trying to make something happen with people we work with, or hoping something does happen. I get it that the person might be cute, hot, or we really, really "click" with them, but it doesn't mean a relationship has to get started there, just because the person or opportunity is available.

Having said all this, I think she is ultimately not a good choice because of how she's brushed you off when asking her out but she thinks she can have your time whenever she wants. I've seen that stuff before and it doesn't end well. She's trying to have more power and control over the situation than you, and knows that if she asks you'll always accept because she also knows you like her.

I would let that one go.

Kinkyhubby · Accepted Answer

When she asks to teach her something, are you both at work or is it off of work? And the hang out part, is that also during g work, or right after work, is is it also on the weekend? Because maybe the next time she asks you to hang out with her and you do, maybe have a conversation with her. It's called being an adult. And when you Hang out with her it it just you 2, or a group? Maybe then you can ask do you have a boyfriend? Would you like to go ona real date? What are you looking for in this part of your life?

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

First off, if she's a coworker?  DO NOT  date her!!! It never ends well- you're risking drama; especially if things don't work out and you break up. Not to mention nosy coworkers getting in your business.  But if you insist on pursuing it, or like her that much- " ... each time I ask her to do something there's always an excuse relating to how busy she is. But she will sometimes ask me to help teach her something or hang out with her some time ." She's playing games with you, or using you. By flirting or playing games with you, she keeps you wrapped around her fingers just enough to help her with stuff she can't/won't do, or keep her company. But she's not that interested to want to date or take it further with you.  Note how you said, she always has an excuse when you want to hang out with her- if she really wanted to spend time with you or get to know you outside of work, she would... I assure you. Meaning she's either not that into you, outside of just being a "work friend," or she has a boyfriend.  I'd just keep things casual with her: be friendly and respectful to her, but don't go out of your way to impress or keep her happy. If she's really into you, let HER set up a date or ask to hang out with you. Don't ask her out anymore; let her do it.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Seems like she only has time for you when she wants to make the time cause it's benefiting her, like when she wants you to teach her stuff. I wouldn't ask any further, plus she's your coworker. Unless your in different departments or planning to quit, dating a Coworker is risky if you break up.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Have you tried starting with inviting her to have lunch with you?

Adam_INTJ · Answer

When in doubt, ask her out.

The worst thst happens is that she tells you that she's not interested enough to go on a date.

But if you doddle, you give the impression that you either 1. Don't have enough interest to leap at the chance to ask her out, or 2. You're so cowardly and needy that you need You're not willing to risk any disapproval. Any hesitation gives a poor impression.

A date isn't a big deal. It's just the next step of seeing if you two are compatible. Even the first time you introduced yourselve was the first step towards that--finding out if you'recompatible enough as friends to enjoy talking, yet people don't sweat about that first step.

A date isn't a big deal. If she made up her mind to say no already, that won't change. But a "yes" will turn into a "no" if you wait too long.

JSmuve · Answer

"each time I ask her to do something there's always an excuse relating to how busy she is... but she will sometimes ask me to help teach her something"

So she's only available when she needs something from her but rebuffs you otherwise. Sounds to me like she's a user and the women equivalent of a "fuck boy". She just wants your attention and nothing more.

Don't bother asking her out. I'd just cut her off and stop giving her undeserved attention. If a girl is interested in you, she'll make herself available to you. If she's not, then she's telling you that she's not worth your time.

Anonymous · Answer

Just ask her that way you will know if she will say yes or no. Don’t wait what are you waiting for.. you simple age a day more lol nothing will change if you don’t do anything. Even if she says no so what at least you know and you can move on to another girl.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't, you just ask. Because every woman is different and most are very fickle. So don't put to much into it. Just ask, if she says no, not a big deal. If she says yes, again not a big deal. Never put more energy towards a woman than she's willing to put into you.

Good luck man!

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Sounds like you have a work wife & the question is do you two hangout outside of work or on the job only? She might be to busy for a relationship or she might already be in a relationship.

Steamnir · Answer

Any time - " do you approve on going on a date with me" yes  "what time suits you"

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Next time she asks you to help her, tell her you busy. If she into you, you'll make time. If she genuinely busy, she'll suggest a different time.

AndrésC64 · Answer

You'll never know when. Stop waiting for the perfect time and just ask her out. If you wait for the perfect time, you'll never do it.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Easy. You don't.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

She's playing games. She's not worth it. Go after someone else.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

You two hang out together alone, so ain't that technically dates?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know you just find the right timing I guess.

dustybiker · Answer

Maybe suggest it? Ask her what she thinks.

TroyDT2 · Answer

I don't, so I just ask.

AsaKyo · Answer

You wait for her to ask you

Anonymous · Answer

Do you want to face fuck her

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