How can I be safe when giving men my phone number that they ask for?

[Bethany22]

I know that girls all the time give out their phone numbers after only talking/knowing the guy for 5 minutes. But is that actually safe? How can girls be safer after giving their phone number out to a guy that might turn out to sound too persistent or who inappropriately texts too late at night when he should know they're sleeping. He doesn't take no for an answer about getting together. Is blocking his number enough? What if he starts spying on them to figure out where they live? How can they avoid this drama to start with?

[MysticAngel5000]

If someone starts being annoying or inappropriate, you have options. You can start off by simply asking them to stop. Sometimes, they genuinely don't know they're bothering or offending you and need to be told. Ask them not to say certain things especially so soon. Let them know what time you're going to bed and ask them to please not text or call between a certain time so you can rest without being disturbed. Most people will respect this. If not, you can turn your text notifications off during those hours. These days, most phones have a "do not disturb mode". You can often customize it to either be a single number or every number in your contacts. Check it out and see what your phone offers.

If you've nicely gone over some basic ground rules, asked the person not to say or do certain things you deem inappropriate and ask them not to text you when you're asleep but they still do, you can block them. It isn't hard. Most phones will allow you to at least do a partial block where the person can technically still message you, but you won't SEE the messages in your traditional inbox. They will be sent to a special, hidden blocked messages folder instead (typically found under your settings). You can also usually do a temporary block for like 3 months. This will prevent them from sending messages to you for that time frame. You can usually pay to have their number permanently blocked where you'll never get messages from them again too.

You are also free to change your phone number if you really want to do something like that. Just make sure you warn people close to you so they know.

If you choose to, you can use a free alternative messaging app at first like WhatsApp or Signal. This will give you a way to "text" without actually revealing your true phone number. You can do this until you're ready to share your real number. Keep in mind that a person's true colors can take longer than you think to be revealed. They may seem fine and pass all the tests, then things can go to total hell as soon as you give out your real number. In that case, just follow the steps highlighted above. Talk to them and if that doesn't work, drop contact/block them.

If someone starts to try to snoop around and find out where you live before you're comfortable telling them or otherwise start to harass or stalk you, this is illegal. At that point, you can contact the police and inform them of what's happening. You can get a restraining order if you need to. If they break this, they get arrested and go to jail.

[Rocambole]

They will not go that far unless they are super psycho, most times blocking will do the job.

To be extra safe you could have two sim cards and give the other one that you use only with strangers to them. If you use your main number there are ways to track more info based on it, particularly if it is linked to any government document, banks etc.

[RavVid]

How unsafe are you giving out a phone number?

Well he could call it which was kinda the point in giving out your nbr. I've had a girl blast me with texts in the early hours of the morning - maybe 500 and it was annoying enough to turn my phone off and bulk delete the messages. Most will not be as pyschotic as her.

I think that can be rated as annoying rather than unsafe. Blocking should work on any phone.

Your number could be passed on to a friend of his. Or you might get a lot of dick pics. That would be difficult to block as the calling number would change but it is not as bad as spam callers who are set up to change the calling number frequently. You could block numbers as they are used and eventually the gang will run out.

Again I think that is annoying rather than unsafe.

It would be possible for you to be conned. Say you gave your number to Pete but decide he is not for you. Pete tells Mike to have a go. If you have given your nbr out to dozens of guys you probably can't rattle off their names and wouldn't immediately know you haven't given your number to any Mikes. So Mike would have a good chance of fooling you. That is possibly your biggest exposure I'd suggest. Mike might not be a nice guy.

There are geolocating websites/products but that can be disabled in your phone and you would be best consulting you phone manufacturer. I just tried one web tracker and it seemed to get it about right but I didn't want to pay the subscription to get my exact location. In Ukraine soldiers exercise a lot of care about their geolocation for obvious reasons. Russia doesn't trust it soldiers with smart phones.

Aside from GPS, the phone network knows which tower you are connected to but that is not precise enough to be concerning.

Overall I think your biggest risk is for cute Pete to pass you onto nasty Mike because he has trouble meeting girls.

You could run two phones with one of them being a non-smart phone and only give out the number for it and not your smart phone. That is pretty safe.

The other obvious thing is that you ask for his nbr. I would then ask you to call my phone to check and then I would have your number unless you suppressed caller id.

[Guy13]

I avoid all that 💩 and if you spend 50.00 you have spent too much. My dating Business card: Face and email with phrase, “phone number available upon request.”

SO, when I ask them for email contact they understand why. “I knew you were different….” on third date “when you gave me that card.”

I have yet met a serious woman who was put off. In fact, I’ve changed venues after meet because of rambunctious peers and gotten emails which turned into “text-like”, and led to phone number exchange…that night.

[Jamie05rhs]

Good idea!

[Guy13]

@Jamie05rhs Knock it out 💪💪

[Smoothing]

The block option is always there. So just because you give away your number, doesn't mean there is nothing you can do if the person turns out to be someone you don't want to encourage. If the number yout personal number also contains professional work contacts or its the same number you use for work or family and friends, always have a cheap burner phone. They go for almost nothing now days. And that is the number you give guys until you have vetted them properly. Even though that would be going a bit extreme.

For your age you should be a good judge of character before giving out your number anyway. It is the girls between the age of 18 to 25 that I usually worry about. They tend to be naive.

Also when you give your number to a guy, always let family members or trusted friends know. They could be of great help if you feel pressured and never be afraid of letting fily members know or trusted friends.

[Effably]

One option is of course to use an app that does not give away persisting personal information. That way deleting the app or account on it will, at least to an extent, solve the issue.

Of course if someone truly wants to harm you we'd all be at risk. So being fully safe is never a thing, for any of us.

[Charlesbrandonf]

Not always would be that case.


That’s actually very healthy. It’s how you know what kind of people you’re meeting and learn how to play.




And Times changes.


Not Everyman that you give your number would behave like that.


Woman that give their numbers, are clearly aware of what they’re doing. It’s how they’ve learned how to filter.



We are always afraid of Anything we don’t know much about. The only way to learn about it is by experience and exploring.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Giving men your phone number is no more risky than giving women your phone number, blocking is enough, and we don't creep on your house unless he's a psycho and thats VERY rare just like it is in women.

This shit right here is why guys don't initiate anymore, stop treating us like monsters.

[TheSpaceGnome]

There used to be a time where everyone's number was in the phone book, and no one was paranoid about men, and people actually knew their neighbors.

[MysticAngel5000]

Exactly. Times have certainly changed!

[XLBBC4White]

Bethany - when it comes to a persons safety, namely a woman's safety, there has to be understanding from the male. If he doesn't offer to meet in a very public place or he resists your desire for it I'd lose his contact info. Phone exchanges and texting should be done over burner numbers and lastly why not do one pic exchange right before meeting up. This way you see him in the moment and know what he'll be wearing etc.

Side note - are you down with XL BBC and may I have your number )

[mickmrly]

I think it would be easier to just give away an email or messenger contact. Thats a bit safer in that you can change those a lot easier. Giving away a phone number should be reserved for someone you've met a few times and have a basic level of trust in in my opinion.

Its the same with hookup culture really. So you just meet someone and you let them into your house while you are sleeping. How about no. People do such crazy things these days.

[irifebeck]

Give a fake number and hope they don't call you when you're next to them. I sometimes give my number but then block them immediately (usually they can't stalk me with just my phone number) or I just say no because I'm in a relationship.

[ArrowheadSW]

One thing you can do is just give them your email address instead. That way if they want to get to know you they can do it thought email rather than phone calls. Just a thought. Then you can give them your phone number later if they seem OK.

[Adaeva]

Stop being so paranoid. Whether or not you give your phone, likely a guy could follow you home and anytime you go shopping someone could follow you have and know where you live. If you don't like getting texts late at night, turn off your phone. In the unlikely event, someone becomes a pest, you can change your number. Or, you can create a number on line for free and use it when giving out your phone number.

[Sorrento-Sun]

Blocking him wouldn't be enough if he's a vindictive person.

A guy once posted my number online, because I didn't go on a second date with them. I got bad vibes about him on our first dare and boy was I right. He created fake dating profiles and used my phone number. So random weird guys would call me in the night. Thank goodness he didn't know where I lived.

It's the risk you take when you meet someone.

[Anonymous]

Why would you give out your phone number to a guy you didn't know or trust?🤣🤣🤣 I think we found your problem.

Don't give out your number. Tell him you'll take his and call him. And don't ca him if you don't feel comfortable. But even if you he doesn't have your number so you can sever ties at any time.

[TroyDT2]

Trust your instincts. Or if unsure, get his number so you can decide later, in a less pressured moment.

But really, you never know if someone might snap. Lots of people date for months or years, then break up, and one of them ends up harassing and stalking the other.

[Andres77]

Get a burner phone. If you’re willing to give out your number to complete strangers, on whom you have not run a background check, then you need to take extra precautions.

or…don’t give out your contact information to strangers!!!

wow…and this generation complains about curfews and having to pay back legitimate debt because “it’s too hard to pay bills without having my dad (white patriarch) taking care of it for me”….😭😭😭

gimme a fuqing break.

[Sparkie460]

It's ok to give out your number because you can block them. If you're planning on meeting a guy tell someone where you are going. Turn tracking on on your phone. Meet in a public place where there are lots of people. If you decide to go somewhere with him, text a friend the location. I highly recommend all women Carry mace or pepper spray on them at all times.

[holdem4884]

Get a second line app and give them that number until you know them better

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Use your brain and don’t just give it to anyone. We know if a guy is a creeper

[Shy_Steve]

I can understand it can be hard Rejecting someone you don't like, But just say you don't really give out your phone number to Guys you don't like and just ask for their number for Guys that you do like then try going on a first date somewhere in Public.

[shortster]

Always meet for the first time or two at a public location; arriving and leaving separately. If you have a problem with him texting late, tell him that. And if all else fails blocking is easy.

[FilmGuy93]

If you're concerned about the safety of interacting with the person. You could either give him your social media, or there are number spoofing apps you can use to contact someone without using your real phone number.

[Fireguy17]

Maybe buy a burner phone, they are cheap, and usually don't cost much to use.
That way if it doesn't work out, they/he doesn't have your real number.
A bit of a pain in the but, however it might be worth it for the security of it.