Do you date down?

Question

Less attractive people so they’ll be loyal to you

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

I mean, if you think of it as "dating down" too strongly, you probably aren't dating down.

But I'd say I might have certain preferences for things people might consider "dating down".

For instance, I kinda like girls who are lower in self-confidence (though especially lower in ego). I feel like I could offer her more support and my efforts would be more meaningful. I like someone who would get the most out of what I have to offer.

Basically if she's down on herself and you tell her she's amazing, you help lift her spirits. And I could be her cheerleader all day. Go get that job! You deserve that raise!

If she's already on her high horse, and you tell her she's amazing, you're likely just inflating her ego. I've even gotten "Umm... why would you need to say that, like it's a question. I'm obviously great and I'm rather insulted you would have to bring it up." The higher the horse, the more likely she is to be angry when you try to help.

So that's the closest I could think of.

Another, perhaps, is that I flirt less with very conventionally attractive women, especially if they seem to be more than aware of it. I would rather flirt with the wallflower.

JDAC092299 · Accepted Answer

It sounds messed up and tbh it kinda was but I experimented with this in my teens, Unattractive women are more likely in my opinion to become disloyal once their confidence has improved by dating you. It’s like it gives them a power trip or something it’s weird. But a decent looker or an attractive person has less of a chance doing that because they know they’re attractive however ugly minds are in both good looking and bad looking people so it doesn’t really matter it’s Russian roulette out here when it comes to love lol

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

I date someone that I am interested in and attracted to. Beauty/handsomeness is very subjective. Who I find handsome, the next girl won't. So, someone might view me as dating down... or up... depending on what they think of my partner. Doesn't matter to me.

I place more importance on intangible traits than just looks. Sure, I have to be physically attracted to a guy to want to date him, but I look more for personality, character, morals, values etc etc.

I certainly do not date someone with the intention of them being loyal based on perception of looks. That is absurd. They should be loyal because they care about me, not because they think I am out of reach for them and that is the only way they can keep me in a relationship.

That is a very wrong reason to date someone and not something I would ever dream of doing.

Minahh · Accepted Answer

I dont care about looks, heart matters to me. If he's attractive it surely is a plus but I wouldn't turn down a guy because of looks. What is problem tho is that guys who are considered "ugly" just lack confidence and self worth.

Guy13 · Answer

I "date down" if the personality and character are right. When we both are swiveled up Prune and raisin, this is what one is left with anyway. Traditional expectations often come with Quality people. If a guy doesn't have his crap together a shaved-ass Orangutan isn't going out with him...

Summeroflove · Answer

I dare who I like and who are good people.

HighValue · Answer

Not "so they will be loyal," but because I have never in my life met someone that would be as good of a partner as I am in a relationship. I always would bring more value to a relationship than any potential partner I have ever met. I am including BOTH looks AND personality/value. There is much more in relationship value than purely looks.

When I was young and inexperienced in life I had a girlfriend that I chose mostly just for looks. It was a big mistake. I was miserable. She was an awful partner. Personality matters much more than looks. As long as they are a 5 + in looks, that is good enough, but the personality has to be an 8 or more of a match.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

If you a guy who dates down for the reason you started, "Less attractive people so they’ll be loyal to you", understand that this could actually backfire.

A woman who feels insecure, whether she's always been this way, or is so because she sees the disparity in looks, are more likely to cheat.

MCheetah · Answer

I can't answer this, cause I don't see people, especially women, like this.

Like, do you mean, "Would I date someone I find physically unattractive?" Yes, and I have before. They had one hell of a personality to make their looks or short height irrelevant.

It's mostly only women who refuse to "date down," though. Most men "date down" by default.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

No, I do not “date down.” I don’t want to structure a relationship to seek control.

BUT when trolling for hookups, I will, absolutely, approach one of the girls who seems to be feeling unattractive. The girls who are confident in their desirability will, usually, waste your time. The girl who things she is not as hot as the other girls is much easier to land. I can make her feel desirable, she can give me great sex in return—that’s a win-win.

Anonymous · Answer

That's unthinkable to the Hypergamous Sex, aka "womanhood".

Men on the other hand, if they aren't Mr. one-in-ten, will have to date down, due to the other side's hypergamy which puts the choice between dating down, and not dating at all, in front of them.

TroyDT2 · Answer

Almost impossible as I'm not "all that" myself. I have dated women whom I would call 7 or 8, which judging by the ratings on this site most of the guys would call 10's or higher, but I generally go for the Plain Janes. Again in general they seem to have more depth to them.

Weapon77 · Answer

I said "no" because I don't I do, but the reality is I have no idea how to evaluate myself, so I have no idea if I date down or not. I suppose I could show some pictures of girls I've gone out with so you can make your own assessment

Red-Blaze · Answer

I date who I be attracted to and feel we be a good fit Being loyal has nothing about the options they have If someone can't betruay your trust, its not loyalty, its simply reality

NeverknowNeverTell · Answer

if you're thinking about how the person looks instead of who they are, you're dating for the wrong reasons. date up in terms of personality, but looks can swing either way.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I always dated who I like. It has nothing to do with dating down or up or anything else.

aaron210419 · Answer

It's funny how the term "dating down" became a thing when women started earning more than guys. Men never saw it as dating down when we were the bread winners.

bubblegunnn · Answer

One point about looks, i always date someone i interested and find attractive

4ngelic · Answer

not really, generally i date around the same level

Haha456 · Answer

there are no decent people on here. this very question proves it.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I've learnt that it gives them confidence that someone "hotter" is into them and they'll use it to disrespect you.

AdithyaR · Answer

That sounds very demeaning, i couldn't do that someone. Although it's more likely someone will do that to me.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

No one is going to answer honestly especially the women  most of the responses are going to be along the lines of “I date whoever I like” 🤣am I right?

LovingJo · Answer

I date who I'm attracted to, inside and out!! Full Stop!! 😊

msc545 · Answer

I have, nd it's been a disaster each time. Never again.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Looks is not the only thing that puts someone in a league.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

There’s no such thing as dating up or dating down. We’re all just people. No one is better than anyone.

sassy_receptor · Answer

hell no. i’d rather die.

Ninania · Answer

I date people I'm attracted to.

Makeushiver · Answer

Not really but I do go down

hammeronfire · Answer

That doesn’t actually work

Twalli · Answer

Fact is, I won't date you if I find you attractive

melanieeeB · Answer

Nope

FreyaRed · Answer

Mostly.

18Uma21 · Answer

No way

domenico07 · Answer

Nope

Fuentes · Answer

Sometimes

In_Trance · Answer

Looks are subjective

Do you date down?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you go out on dates?

Do you date down?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you go out on dates?

We're glad to see you liked this post.