I like this girl and afraid to ask her out?

[Dixonbros93]

A few weeks ago on the night before Halloween one of my good friends invited me to a Halloween party at her apartment. I dressed up as three hole punch Jim from The Office lol, and I met this girl who I thought was very cute. She and I talked for almost 45 minutes. Even my friend thought she and I hit it off. I think she has a little bit of social anxiety because the last time I saw her she didn't stay out for too long and had to leave (perhaps she's introverted?) Get this, she's never seen the movie Alien. But anyway im seeing her again Saturday night with my same friend and I'd like to ask her for coffee or spend time with her in her town. Nothing fancy just a little hangout. Now before you reply saying "you're going into the friend-zone. Dont", that's where I tend to overthink. I want to ask her for coffee which is what my instinct tells me, but I don't know whether or not I should start as friends or if we do have coffee together, will she think its not a date? My friend and her boyfriend started off as friends and now they're together. wtf. Ugh I just dont know. If it happens when you least expect it, whats the point of being romantically interested in someone in the first place? Do I have to suppress my interest or something? How do I let things happen naturally? I need Tylenol.

Updates

+1 y

Update: so last week I actually was able to muster up the courage and ask her to coffee. It was kind of a mixed reaction and she replied with "ill have to see". So I have no idea whether or not thats considered rejection

[DaveJord]

I did not read the who thing beyond the basic question, but my advice seldom changes in regard to questions like this. What the situation or circumstance really doesn't matter, she might be interested, she might not be interested. But there is no way of knowing unless you step up and be a man about it.

So, get over whatever your fear is and ask the women out. She might say yes, she might not... but don't spend weeks or days wasting time, second guessing or getting inside your own head over it. Do what a man would do and ask her out. If she says yes then great, she says know, don't stress or worry about it. At least you can move on knowing you didn't leave anything hanging out there in the unknown. No what ifs about it, she had her chance and either she took it or she didn't. Doesn't really matter beyond that.

[Dixonbros93]

Feels like I'm just waiting for some random miracle, like in a movie, where something is ALWAYS meant to happen every. single. time.

[DaveJord]

Aren't we all, there no fucking telling with women. They act like they know, but not even they fucking know what they want.

[Dixonbros93]

It's as if I have to either face the rejection or remain stuck in limbo/uncertainty

[DaveJord]

100% so face it, that's all you di no matter the situation.

You face it. Get rejected and move on, with living in doubt for the rest of your life.

[DaveJord]

*Can do no matter what

[Dixonbros93]

I am an introvert by the way

[DaveJord]

Introvert that wants to date... so its bo excuse. Get over it.

[DaveJord]

*No not bo

[Dixonbros93]

Im not that extroverted and every time im at a bar or party with some people im always in the corner waiting for serendipity

[GreenLanternI0I]

First thing first. As Master Yoda ones said and I quote "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering". Now, the only reason, THE ONLY reason girls friend zoning guys, are because they are not sexually attracted to them, plain and simple. If you will not ask her out now, you will never know what kind of outcome you would of gotten, if you actually did ask her out. My man, you have absolutely Nothing to lose and absolutely Everything to gain. Tell me something, aren't you tired of being single? aren't you tired of beating your own meat?

[Dixonbros93]

I am an introvert and I always observe people but almost 90% don't know what to say. Most of the time my mind tells me to forget about society and things will just happen when they happen. So here I am 12 years later still waiting for a random miracle

[GreenLanternI0I]

Miracles do happen, but even Miracles demand a little push from a person who wants to get them. Something to think about 😉

[Dixonbros93]

Why dont we all just forget about society then since we have to "stop looking" for friends/romance in order for them to find us?

[Anonymous]

Just ask. She already knows whether she would go out with you, so you're just getting an answer to that question.

[Dixonbros93]

I know im overthinking this. There is no right time either.

[Opinion Owner]

How is there no right time if she already knows whether it's yes or no? Text her right now and ask her. "Hey I had some plans fall through for tonight. Are you busy?" If she says no say, "some other time?" if she says no to that then you have your answer, but chances are she will say yes to something.

[Dixonbros93]

I dont even have her number but im seeing her tonight among other people in the group

[Dixonbros93]

Meanwhile the other guy thinks I should be friends with her before I ask her out.

[Guy13]

Whatever you do…do it with gentleness, firmness, and Vision.-In other words, lead effectively. She will follow if you direct…she’s probably going to count on you for that. Women want…good ones have to know that it is Okay, to want.

It is a Way of Doing with all people: clients, acquaintances, friends, and girl/boyfriend.
It matters not if it is Coffee ☕️ or Martini 🍸 or 🌭 or 🥩.

[Twalli]

Most relationships evolve from friendships.

[Dixonbros93]

I dont want to end up in the friend zone

[Twalli]

You wwnt to date her and there is a higher possibility of that happening if you are friends first. Would you prefer not to be friends at all if she doesn't want to date you?

[Dixonbros93]

If she and I were friends how could I even ask her out without feeling anxious?

[Dixonbros93]

Id be friends with her even if she wasn't interested in dating. Its just the rejection part

[Twalli]

The possibility of rejection is always there when asking anyone out. It should be easier to ask her out if you're friends because you are already able to speak comfortably to her. Asking her out will still be awkward, but less so than if you don't know each other that well. She's actually more likely to say yes if she is your friend, because she knows your personality

[Dixonbros93]

From what I can tell it sounded like she and I had a good conversation