Could you marry a guy that won’t move out?

[Anonymous]

I refuse to move out of my parents house. Because it will just be them living there in a huge house on their own.

My parents have supported me so much on my education so I will pay it back and look after them in old age.

I wouldn’t be able to marry this guy

I would still want to marry him

[WonderBell99]

Marry? I wouldn’t even date a man who was planning to live with his parents for the rest of his life. I will look after my parents, but it is not necessary that I live with them. I can take care of them without living with them. You do realize that if you’re planning to live with your parents, you’re also asking your wife to take care of them? (When it is not her duty at all?). Especially if they have some serious health conditions that require care day and night.

My grandparents lived with us until I was 12 and trust me, HUGE fights happened almost every single day. This arrangement will not work out at all. I would prefer dating someone who is independent and has a house of his own. I do not want kids, and I assume some they might want to become grandparents soon… which adds to the pressure. A lot of cons in one question.

While it is admirable that you want to help out your parents, you have to understand and accept that this also limits your dating pool by a lot.

[ZenJen444]

Right, like marriage should be the last thing on his mind. He needs to get his life together

[SueShe]

I refuse to marry. End of story.

However, having to marry a person that refuses to move out of his parents' home is an added burden in any relationship.

Did your parents also refuse to move out of their parents places? You can still be grateful for what they did for you and have a life of your own.

I don't think that there are many women that would accept to have to move to her parents in law for the rest of her life. It is one thing to visit them occasionally but a totally different one to have to live with them 24/7. I am not even addressing the issue of getting along with parents in law. What if the woman does not get along with them? Can you imagine the calvary?

No thank you. If I was into dating or getting married, then it would be with a person that is able to function alone and is able to have an independent life.

[inhua]

a lot of cultures have this where an entire family would work together as a unit to support one another. parents going to work while grandparents look after the kids etc. teamwork is key to survival and it's funny how some people have no problem hiring nannies and babysitters but refuse to allow family members to help for free.

anyone who tries to make this out to be a terrible thing is simply being culturally inconsiderate and a racist bigot.

[Looksnicholas]

If I was a woman in this hypo, I couldn't. Lol. Or, I wouldn't, lol. But I'm a man at 28 also still at home and I'm single. I don't mind how my life is turning out, what I mean is sure other people my age have long moved out or long been married if not already de facto or married, but I'm very happy with my status and arrangement.

I do pay rent to my folks and pay my own bills.

[Guy13]

Couldn’t marry a girl or a guy with this mindset

[Avicenna]

Why would any woman marry such a guy?

[PrettyPriya]

No. I would not marry a guy that is planning on living with his parents for the foreseeable future. That is way too much to ask, and I bet 99% of girls would say no. That is a huge responsibility that you are asking a potential wife to help with.

What if she doesn't get along with your parents? What are you going to do then? What if she wants kids? Is that going to be okay around your parents 24/7? That is the wrong way to go about free daycare.

I think your expectation here is way too high. I wouldn't even date someone that said they were planning on living with their parents for the rest of their lives. I want someone that is independent and can live on their own.

I can appreciate you wanting to take care of your parents. That is a noble thing to do, but that is a choice that you are putting before others, like marriage. So, you have to live with those choices and the fact that almost no girls is going to find that arrangement palatable.

[foreveronly]

When ur mom and ur wife have differences ur gonna have to pick a side.

Ur gonna end up offending one or the other.

Given ur such a mama's boy ull likely always take ur mother's side who already has her husband taking her side... Leaving ur wife alone to fend for herself in a house filled with only inlaws where nobody will take her side every single time.

Most women dont prefer that and definitely wouldn't have to be in a situation where they have to stand up for themselves and argue with their in laws.

[Prettygurl12]

Cultural differences aside, no, I could not do that. I understand there are a number of cultures in the world where this is normal, but I didn't grow up in that culture.

I grew up with the Bible and the Bible says that a man and a woman shall leave their fathers and mothers and cleave onto each other and the two shall become one flesh.

[Subarugirl]

Yeah I wouldn’t use the bible as a foundation on how women should be treated. Unless you are okay with being sold by your father to the man of his choosing, him having more wives if we wants.

[JJMcc5049]

I grew up with the bible also and unfortunately the modern world cherry picks the bits that support there options hence the modern world full of "sinners" greed lust jealous drives the economy not a single couple I know honoured there vows of better for worse and took the earliest possible way out when they got in loads of debt buying a house they ended up relying on mum and dad's savings and spare time to make life easier and then look after the kids why they slept around online.

[Subarugirl]

@JJMcc5049 I grew up with the bible too honey. I guess you should surround yourself with more integral and godly people.

[shaysh87]

do you realize not everyone moves out after marriage? after the wedding, Asian brides move into their husband's home to live with her in laws.

and in fact its better to do that in today's economy when cost of living is sky rocketing. Its a money saving tactic. Live with your parents enough so you can save to buy your own house.

[JJMcc5049]

My grandfather was born very poor but was very intelligent and had a big family and between the family they invested in him he came to the UK and when he was starting to become successful his parents moved over and he lived with his wife and parents and had a big house and a successful business and couldn't have done it with out family his own 8 children let him live alone for his final years yet seeing that a family under one roof helps each other. I agree with tradition values despite being ideal some times. I know many single mums who live alone but need constant support from there friends family and the government may be if the marriage starts like you said then the financial situation would be less stressful and the family support would help and it wouldn't be forever.

[DarkWinterNights]

I don’t think the economic decline has been fully realized by most people yet.

[shaysh87]

@DarkWinterNights

I think it has been realized by most. They just won't admit it

[Kori1236]

No, independence is key. Now if the parents are ailing and you care for them I can understand it. But until my mother is in need of family care (because I won’t let her end up in a home) then I will move her in with me or put an addition on my home for her. But I wouldn’t be with someone who refused to move out from their parents home. I do realize that there are some cultures that have several generations under one roof but I don’t come from that sort of culture so it is very different to me.

[AdithyaR]

Wow people seriously forget that there's different cultures. Calling you all sorts of bad things is uncalled for.
That's actually pretty common in India. If the house is big enough to accomodate everyone comfortably I don't see why it's bad to stay.
I think it's cause westerners automatically assume you're just mooching off the parents. They forget that some of us stay to take care of them.

[JJMcc5049]

I agree

[Jamie05rhs]

So you think your parents don't deserve to have a huge house to themselves?

And how are you going to "support them" and "take care of them," huh? Aren't they only like 50? 60 at most? What- do you think they're helpless or something?

[Sukaaa]

No way and don't agree you know his mother will always be his mother not so much the father but still trust me it is so annoying and it's like no privacy controlling getting in the argument just avoid it

[menina]

No, I wouldn't. He can still be grateful to his parents, love them and protect them without living in the same house. I can't even imagine myself in that situation, it would make me uncomfortable.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Anyone who has your mindset is not even worth the time of day. You're supposed to leave eventually. You're not a child anymore so be an adult and get your own place.

Only then will you actually grow into the man you're meant to be.

[Visionary7]

AMEN

[JJMcc5049]

I came out of a bad relationship with a abusive woman at the same time my dad went into a care home my mum has helped me and I've supported her, the house is very large and I have my own space and so does my mum. I meet a amazing lady who I thought was the one. She was in a lot of debt thanks to her ex. Yet the modern independent woman she is said no living at my family home. Here's the absolute ridiculous thing I said fare enough and offered to buy us a house but she didn't want to rely on a man. So the man I am wants my mother to not be alone and poor but that makes me a man child but I also can't buy us a house and make her feel like she needs a man's help? Yet for 5 years I've bought/paid for every meal, nights drinking weekend away and fun stuff for me her and her daughter while she made me feel a guest in a house I was maintaining and at the end she gave me a feminist speech about not needing a man and wanting just be free to see friends when her ex had her daughter!!! So I'm glad that I carried on supporting my mum and it will take a lot to leave... Even seeing if they're willing to help my mum not be alone?

[Sour-rose]

Naw, fuk that shi. I ain't tryna stay with someone who won't follow me to washington when I make enough money

[Faith18letsgo]

Absolutely I’d marry him. That’s a good guy. We need to get used to multigenerational housing. Like every other country in the world has

[inkyvampire]

If you don’t get out and experience life it’s just odd. They won’t be dependent for some time I’m assuming. Right now you’re just wasting your life.

[PinkRose24]

Dude you can still take care of them without living with them. Also that's why they have each other, they'll take care of each other. I'm sure your parents want privacy any lol

[Apple1996]

Nope I like having my own place but I would allow my parents/in laws to live in a guest house or close by if they needed my help

[Anonymous]

this is a red flag. any sensible woman would run far away... sorry...

[Anonymous]

NP in marrying him as long as we go tot live there to help out or be close enough to still help out.

[Anonymous]

Nope for me. There are other ways you can support them, but you're supposed to leave and start your own family.

[AsaKyo]

How would we even get married if he can't even make it out on his own?

[Crankor]

Most parents I know want to live in their house alone. Just saying

[TallAnon]

Thinking about it the other way if it was a girl, hell no.

[ZenJen444]

You need to grow up and no I'd never marry a guy still living with his parents

[ZenJen444]

Marry should be the last thing on your mind. Get your life together

[fonduegirl]

It's common in India to not move out ever

[Subarugirl]

Absolutely not lol

[1User12345]

You must have a in superiority problem

[Anonymous]

No. Sorry