Do I ask him out?

Question

So I kinda like this guy, but our current relationship is the definition of sibling love. I personally don't want him getting ideas (although I like him, I'm not ready for any kind of romantic relationship right now.) I am going on a group date with some friends- that he is acquainted with, but not super well. I've been wanting to ask him out, but is it a good idea?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

If your not interested in a romantic relationship then absolutely do NOT ask him out. Seriously it sounds like you're warming up to the idea of having a relationship, but not ready to have a romantic one. Then hang out with him, if he asks then fine.

As a man or women, you're expressing a desire or intent towards a person, when ask someone out. If the desire or intent is not 100% geniue or if your not 100% committed to where it could go, then don't do it.

I mean if you think at some time you could get to a place that this person could be more to you... then wait until you get to that time. If you ask him out its in away is like saying you have an interest. But if your not interested in romance... then honestly your not looking for a boyfriend your more interest in developing a friendship.

So if your honest with him about that then, you need to make that known to him before asking him. But the risk in doing that is that your basically telling him that you like him as a friend but not so much on a romantic level. Maybe later you could get there, but your not there now.

Guys like me would see that as sign of insecurity. It would make me less willing to commit to a process with you. Because I am a man who is looking for romantic friendships with women. So I am looking for women that want to engage and commit to a process.

So if you're not ready yet, then wait. Because has you work through your own process in figuring that out for yourself... well I'd rather you straighten it out on your own before getting involved with you. I don't want to invest in someone whose not willing to invest 100% in the process with me.

But if you really want to ask him out, then just be sure your honest with him from the start. Then it's up to him to decide. But do NOT ask him out then at some point later tell him your not ready to commit to a romantic relationship. Guys do not always react kindly to women that do this. Because by asking him out your sending mixed signals, like your interested, but in reality your not really interested. Eventually when the guy figures it out, and he will, he will get really frustrated and think your playing hard to get. Which honestly you kind of are... because by asking him out your making him want to to be more interested in you than you are in him. That's the definition of sending mixed signals and playing hard to get. Playing hard to get it, is when you intentionally do things, like asking a guy out, that make him desire you more, than you honestly desire him. And this is absolutely wrong thing to do, with Guys. They see it as playing games with their emotions.

Unless your seriously interested... and if you are seriously interested then you need to 100% transparent and honest with him from the start.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Traveled through South East Asia with a few friends one of whom was black. The women treated us whore guys like our dicks were made of solid gold but treated black guys like they were animals. My black friend had trouble getting laid even from Asian prostitutes, he never strikes out in America like that. He ended up hooking up with a polish girl, who looked like a model and a chunky English girl.

DaisyM23 · Accepted Answer

if you're not ready for a romantic relationship why ask him out?

Anonymous · Answer

You don't give off the impression of being a very self-sincere person.
If you "have been wanting" (which grammar forbids, but you wrote it) to ask him out, it's you who have gotten ideas.
And you want the privilege of him not getting any ideas, while you have gotten yours.
Not very funny, or equitable.

Chris_u006 · Answer

Go for it do what feels best for both of you pace wise.
If he shows no interest at the beginning test him and start talking with other people too and pay attention to how he reacts.
Even if he shows any signs of denial, that could still mean he like you back as much but feel uncomfortable\embarrassed to show how he feels.
Try to read some of his signals, but do not be overly analytical, if more than one tells you he's into you too, that is when you start wedge steadily.

dean53AU · Answer

Go for it but make sure you tell him your bot quite ready and he needs to take it slow.

Wise4myage · Answer

Flirt with him first and see if he shows any interest.

Anonymous · Answer

*sigh* sometimes I wish the men, that girls fancy get taken by another woman, that doesn't fear asking men out. This could be you.

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

this question reminds me of something i always hated

sheispretty · Answer

I think you must get sure if your feelings are mutual otherwise you may destroy your firendship

linka_pat307 · Answer

Go for it sister

Joker_ · Answer

not yet kiddo

Anonymous · Answer

Go girl go

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