
Please be respectful in the comment section. GAG is watching.
Please be respectful in the comment section. GAG is watching.
Just like anything there are likes and dislikes in this world. I have an opinion about this question but you have to realize this topic is very western..
If I ask this question on the “Balkan GAG version” or “Asian GAG version “ lol (I wish such app existed) men there would be like hell no I pay or I kill myself lol. Or I kill the waitress who accepts the women $$😂
I don’t think it’s fair no 2nd date because you don’t pay on your 1st date though that’s wild.
However if you really love this women and you can sense or feel like she is the one it doesn’t hurt to act like a gentleman once in a while. It’s not about giving a free meal , let’s say you send cute messages to your girlfriend etc to attract her right? well same as paying on the 1st date it’s more like a sign of care. I care for you smth like this.. and then if this works out you do Dutch etc
If you don’t want to pay thats fine but you don’t have the right to accuse or look down upon those who want to who pay.
I don’t know which one I like but I can say I was raised from a very traditional country and culture where men not even pay for the date but even bring a gift. But that’s because dating in my country is usually done for a purpose that is for maybe a potential marriage. Even though let’s say they don’t get married still men don’t feel sneaky or angry or whatever. Most of the time men even get angry when a women wants to pay lol
That’s why even thought I’m European I match with a Chinese or Asian friend easily we both got hit with a flying shoe lol 😇
So yeah
I hope my comment is worth 5cent not 2 otherwise I won’t comment on your second question 😆
It will be different depending on where you are located for sure.
I haven't been single in a long time, but I voted B. My son would never ask his date to split the check. He'll not only pay for the date and the gas, he'll open her doors too.
Thank you for the MHO ❤
Depends on if she is the right type of girl for you.
Yes, a guy CAN get a 2nd date if he splits the bill, but it all depends on the conversation BEFORE the first date. There is nothing wrong with a woman paying for the first date, splitting or the man paying for the first date. They are ALL correct. Where it becomes INCORRECT is if you do not communicate beforehand. Also, the talk beforehand saves you both the embarrassment and awkwardness of figuring out the check AT THE DATE. It will also tell you from the getgo how compatible you may be and is a good indicator of whether or not you should date in the first place.
In the past I was more traditional about paying for the first date, but I started realizing how quickly I can go broke doing so. Also, when you marry someone, you have to navigate finances together and how a first date bill is handled can be an early indicator of financial differences between you and if those differences can be reconciled.
Ever since I started splitting checks on the first date, I've had fewer dates, but the ones I have been on have been much smoother and more likely to lead to a 2nd date.
It also depends HOW you tell her. I tell dates upfront I intend to split the check and I ask them if that is ok. If they say yes, the date proceeds. If she says no, we both walk away, no harm no foul. It would be wrong if you wait until the last minute to tell her.
alright fair enough mate
If the girl i was on a date with didn't at least offer to split the bill with me, SHE didn't get a second date. I always declined and covered, but if the offer was not made i declined a second date.
On that same token, If she did everything in her power to make the date as expensive as possible for me, i Also cut ties with me. Ladies your job is to enhance and make his life better, not make it harder. And before i get hate for the comment. I would say the same about men, we dont exist to make it harder for the woman we are with, we exist to make things better. So feminists take your comment and shove it up your collective asses.
Interesting.
Ha love it.
Holy crap thanks for MHO!!
Good comment
Opinion
29Opinion
"Mysterious Guys" black P-Coat, black wavy Big Foot hair, and still Stylish can get away with that and not feel or be expected to feel an ounce of regret.-Actually, he is admired for it... it goes with being 20 minutes late, never acknowledging it, and question, penetrating eyes behind shades, and very little expression.
SOMETIMES, if one has access to a closet, one does not have to be "Bigfoot" to pull that off.
Not sure what the hell that meant but it sounded cool lol
It’s the Guy that the Girl will pay or split for.
Women love a mysterious, stylish, and hints of intelligent twinged with anti-establishment.
It’s for all the Guys whose goal is to have a Woman…. just once buy your drinks 🍸 🫒, 🍸🫒, 🍸🫒. Good grasp of religion, philosophy, and quantum physics with Depth would be helpful for the lad too
NOTS: Games, Anime, or Feminist.
A second date is determined if the two people like each other on the first date and would like to explore further. It was nothing to do with the check/bill. If the girl thinks splitting the check raises red flags, then maybe she shouldn't have gone on the first date.
If the man asks her on the date which we all know happens 99.9999% of the time and he expects her to pay half then he doesn't deserve a second date. Most women are looking for a man to lead and if you can't buy her a plate of food to get to know her what does that say about you?
It says you’re not a clown; or as the kids are saying, a “simp”. If you’re a man who understands his value, why would you think SHE deserves “a plate of food” in exchange for getting to know her, but YOU don’t? Hahahaha!!! Either you’re worth getting to know, same as her, or you’re a simp who has to bribe women to hang out with him. So which are you, “coach”? Ell oh ell!
@coachTanthony Horseshit, if she expects the guy to pay for her meal, she doesn't deserve a second date. If she is so stingy that she can't even be bothered to pay for her own meal, whats that say about her? coughgolddiggercough
@TheSpaceGnome There are boys and there are men who lead and go after what they want. I get it. thanks for the comments.
@Chazmatazz269 That is the difference between you and me. You value a plate of food on your WORTH... I am buying the plate of food to just get in the door to see if she is the real deal. To me it's only money to you it's not paying a bill. I get it. we aren't the same.
Boys think money can get them love, men know better. Seems you have yet to grow up.
You can pay and pay and pay, but it will never be real, a gold digger is just another kind of hooker.
Funnily enough, I've never had any woman bring up money out of all the ones that liked me. If I weren't so picky about hobby/interest similiarities, I'd already be married.
@TheSpaceGnome You don't have any money it appears. Men who have money don't think like this. Thanks for the comments.
I have plenty of money, gaming PCs, consoles, games, art supplies, pet supplies, model kits, replicas, vintage figures, out of print books, etc. that shit ain't free dude, I'm living that otaku life, and so is any woman I hang out with.
You think a girl with a $2,500 pc and 500 games needs my help buying her dinner? 😂
Granted, even back when I was poor, attractive women still hit on me plenty, even after I said no lol.
@TheSpaceGnome Dude to each their own man... you do you boo. All I am saying and it's probably not clear in the question... but for women who are looking for a man to lead, have a family and grow old together... they are looking for a man that can at least ask her out, buy her a plate of food and hold the door open for her. It's not that hard. She wants to know hey can this man take care of me and a family down the road. When a man starts off saying hey lets split the check that doesn't really go favorable for her thoughts of a long term thing. It's biological. Now if you are just talking about having sex, something causal okay. Not sure how you don't understand this frame of thinking.
My type of woman has no interest in being a follower, she doesn't want any kids, she doesn't have casual sex, and she wants to stay young together with anti aging habits.
I don't ask women out, they hit on me and I either reject or eventually cave.
I open the door for everyone, thats just being polite.
I only date artistically talented women, the start your own business career driven kind. She has cosplay outfits in her closet, video games on the shelf, her walls lined with collectables and books. Her guitar and art supplies in another room, maybe a tarantula in her bedroom, or a cat, or both. You get the picture, I'm not into "basic".
@TheSpaceGnome Again you do you man. Its all good. All opinions, lifestyles, comments are welcome.
Obviously you don’t get it. The difference between us is that i actually know my worth. Now you’re comparing that plate of food to what, the price of admission? You obviously don’t value yourself much if you don’t see the hypocrisy of that. If she IS the “real deal”, SHE’LL buy her own ticket! Ell oh ell! You don’t have to value yourself on my account. But don’t go trying to twist my words around to make it seem like my self worth is a bad thing. Go on and simp witcho bad self. Ell oh ell!
@Chazmatazz269 You seem triggered and angry. I will digress. Thanks for the comments and you keep being awesome man.
@coachTanthony Agreed, to each their own, you ended with a much better stance than the narrow minded view you started with. 👏 My job is done :)
Only if the first date went well, as I insist on splitting the first time as to avoid any expectations of more.
If things go great, then additional dates he can pay for, as long as he understands, paying for my date doesn't mean I owe him anything.
Depends largely on the woman’s expectations and her financial situation. Those of us who date career women don’t have this problem- they’re normally comfortable with check splitting. If she’s loaded down with student and credit card debt, or thinks she’s a princess, she’ll expect the guy to pay for everything.
Inviting one to dinner and then not wanting to pay is incredibly impolite. If you don't want to pay, don't even ask and just go about your business. I wouldn't even do this with friend if I was the one to ask them out to eat.
It's never even been a second thought for any of the men I date.
I don't open my own doors either. A woman assumes most of the risks in dating so all she should have to worry about during the date is enjoying his company.
If a man can't afford a nice meal he likely isn't looking for the same things as I am anyway. I'm dating to marry not to hook up so I need somebody who is financially secure.
I make it known what my expectations are and that I don't kiss on the first date and a man can't or doesn't want to meet my standards that's perfectly fine! We are not a match and can politely end our contact.
Everyone has different standards and they vary based on their stage of life. If two teenagers are dating on allowance money then splitting the bill is fine. However, as an adult, I have learned that men value what they invest in, they have a greater desire for women they have to work harder to get. The more masculine woman in a couple will be the same way, amusingly, I've been on dates with women who are 10x more gentlemanly and chivalrous than the average man!
True there are very different types of men who are looking for all kinds of things.
yeah agree
Exactly. If a man gets the idea in his head that he can invite you somewhere and expect you to pay for half or all of it he is cheap and will treat you like dirt. A lady must know her worth. It is just a masculine mindset. A human mindset really.
@Chestpain101 Women sure have come far since getting the right to vote.
@Agagagagaga gee are you being sarcastic. My little brain can't tell.
@Chestpain101 That sounds like a personal problem.
@Agagagagaga that sounds like something your Dad would say. Got anything better than that?
@Chestpain101 Nah, if you want me to be your therapist I’m gonna have to charge you. That one was free.
@Agagagagaga my how generous
@Agagagagaga Men sure have regressed far since they had to start attracting women themselves again rather than purchasing them from her father!
Having to do the self-development to attract a partner is the natural way of things and it is how societies functioned before oppressive religions introduced the idea that human beings could be bought and sold and artificially paired up by elders.
Lol @ the idea that splitting the check has anything to do with “financial stability”. Yeah if you can’t afford a meal that’s something but I doubt that’s the case in even one out of 100 scenarios. Just because I don’t buy you a car, doesn’t mean I can’t l. Just means I’m not a sucker falling for this BS line about “oh you won’t buy me a car, you’re not financially stable”.
I took my whole class out for dinner and drinks, but a woman who feels entitled to a free meal and my company, can kick rocks.
@zeitgeist057 If our standards don't align that's great! You are getting offended over nothing because I wouldn't date you, to begin with. Splitting the cheque especially when you were the one who asked a woman out isn't very masculine to me.
I’m not offended, and I wouldn’t date you, either, it’s mutual. :) I thought it *AMUSING* (laughable, entertaining, quaint, not vexing) that you equated not paying for a meal with an inability to pay “financial stability” 😂 No one said anything about who asked who out, so that’s another assumption on your part, along with your ideas about masculinity. If “masculinity” is licking boots and letting a woman take your wallet out of your pants, that’s an interesting interpretation.
@zeitgeist057 You gave yourselves the provider role and no you whine about it? nah.
Not sure what you're talking about "gave yourselves the provider role". Do you mean that the patriarchal society we live in and have been living in since we were born was somehow a choice we made and that we're beholden to the decisions others have made in the past? The "role" I have is the role I choose. It isn't chosen for me by society, and it isn't "provider".
I live in a very different reality from you, where everyone does not necessarily subscribe to the exact same ideology and expectations of roles. People are free to choose what values they accept and which they reject. There's no "whining" here. I support equality of women: equal pay, voting rights, reproductive choices, &c. I also support women being independent, like men, because that's part of what equality is: autonomy.
I absolutely enjoy treating a woman well: cooking her a delicious meal, planning a fun surprise, praising her, treating her to a night of live performance, a sensual massage, &c. But none of that is done out of obligation or to fill a "role". It's from my own desire to make people happy whose happiness makes me happy. I don't necessarily expect tit for tat, but if I continually am considerate and creating these pleasurable moments for her and she acts as though it's her birthright, I will move on quickly to someone more appreciative who reciprocates the energy and effort I put into a relationship.
Someone on a first date is not someone I have any history with or my financially dependent child. It's more or less a stranger or acquaintance and we've mutually decided to give each other a closer look, have some conversation and get to know each other better. If she identifies her main concern to decide if I'm attractive is my finances, then I've learned quickly that we have different ideas about what is important in a relationship. The focus on money is disgusting to me. Not because I'm broke, but rather because I have role models in my life who have taught me that money is not something to mix into love and friendships. One of these role models is my aunt, who is very rich and always pays for everything when we go out, but she's also not wasteful or frivolous, and would never let a stranger take advantage of her for a free meal. People are at their best when they are equal, and independent. It's fine to host and treat your loved ones, nothing against that. But for a stranger or acquaintance to beg, assume, or otherwise attempt to manipulate me into buying their meal or otherwise try to get into my wallet is gross. It reeks of sliminess and control issues, as well as selfishness.
On a date with someone, I want to learn about who they are, what makes them tick, what they care about. If I learn what they care about is who is paying for our sandwiches, that tells me this is a shallow, selfish, and materialistic person who doesn't really care about me at all. They care about themselves and obtaining resources more than they care about other people. I agree to meet them as an equal, and their first move is to try and use me for a free $5 coffee? No, thanks.
@zeitgeist057 This is a super emotional response and it sounds like you have some issues to work through. If I lower my standards I end up with whiny unmasculine men so that's not something I'm willing to do anymore. On top of that, the type of man that I attract would be offended and hurt if I tried to pay for half, they want a woman who will gratefully receive. I've tried it before and it was just awkward he said: "you are a lady, I invited you out, please put your wallet away." I'm not going to force the types of men that I am attracted to and who are attracted to me to let me pay half just because some ranting guy on the internet is trying to shame me (and them) for it.
Men do not often compromise on a woman's beauty and youth, those standards are allowed to remain firm, but then they expect women to compromise and give a chance to men who have a stingy attitude and rant and rave over having to pay for a meal or a drink. Men are okay to have firm standards but women's standards are always supposed to be flexible? Then women get blamed for not choosing better men? No, that's not how that works. If he can't meet my standards on the first date he won't meet them on the second and he certainly won't meet them in marriage.
You are also setting up a strawman that pretends my expectation for a man to pay means I don't actually want to get to know him. A free meal is not worth spending the evening with someone I'm not genuinely interested in and I'm not going to accept anything from a man who's character I doubt.
It's a waste of time, and so is this conversation! Feel free to continue monologuing and trying to personally attack me. It will enrage you to know I'm going on a date with a sweet, gentlemanly man again tonight who naturally gets the bill and pulls out my chair and you screaming into the void isn't going to change either of our personalities or values! <3
You have no idea really, you are the one creating a fantasy "straw man" where I am emotional or enraged. I'm not screaming or upset in the slightest and have not been at any point during this discussion. You are either attempting to discredit me by false accusations, or you simply have no ability to accurately read simple English.
I'm happy to end the conversation here as well. I see your perspective and don't hold any ill will against it or you. It seems you and the men you're interacting with have a good understanding of each other and your happiness in life is what matters. You and I are obviously not compatible lol, if for nothing else but your inability to have a conversation without trying to belittle and project a distasteful persona onto someone with an opposing view.
I hope you have a fun date! :)
Call me old fashioned coach, but I don't believe in splitting the check, no matter who asked who out on the date. My momma would slap me silly if I asked a woman out and didn't pay for it or allowed her to pay even if she did. The only way I'd do that would be if the date was so horribly bad because the woman was just an ass, but that's happened to me only once in my life.
I have to say that I must have really good radar for women, or some guys just have no clue what to look for. It's like they don't have any conversation with a woman prior to asking her out and have no clue what's coming. The example of a woman running up the bill and ordering the most expensive items on the menu, for example, is the very opposite of what I've experienced on ALL my dates!
I think too many guys must be asking out hotties who are obviously material driven, and then feel surprised when they do things like that - maybe? I don't know, but the "split the check" mantra seems to come mostly from butt hurt jerky boys and not from men who take some time to get a vibe from a woman BEFORE asking her out!
One last thing - if you don't have the money to spend on a date, wait until you do and ask her out to something inexpensive, like coffee, or taking a walk and getting some ice cream. If you can't afford to buy a woman either of those, you can't afford to date.
I’m with ya
He will only get a second date with women who aren't looking for a free ride, so it's a great way to eliminate the freeloaders and users, or women who are materialistic because they will see right away this guy isn't the one that is going to give them what they want.
Everyone wins, really. The women who value a man as an ATM can move on until they find a payday, and the men who are willing to be used as such can get their trade on with women who trade affection for material possessions. "Gift giving" is actually one of the five love languages, but it's not everyone's preferred way to express affection.
I'm actually very generous and have no problem spending hundreds or thousands on my loved ones. But if I get the vibe you're expecting it, or that you are trying to trade money and resources for affection, you'll not see a penny from me.
PS and I don't have a hard and fast rule about paying or not paying on the first date. I usually play it by ear and don't care too much one way or another. But I guarantee if I got this vibe from a date of: "pay for me, or you'll never see me again" I will bail and consider it bullet dodged.
Nobody likes a woman who is looking for a FREE RIDE. I have never met one because I vet them accordingly but I get what you are saying here
No. And that's a good thing. Just like women have their Sh*t Tests, this is a man's quality test for a woman. Any working adult woman who expects to be wined and dined on the first date is trash, plain and simple. And trying to say "I'm traditional" is BS; because none of that "traditionalism" will come up when the guy expects you to put out; y'know, like women were expected to in the past when they got wined and dined. (Not even saying they need to; but that was the unspoken agreement in the past. There is no "free dinner." You pay for it with your cooch.)
You can choose to simp to her like a fool, or have some dignity and not pay for an ungrateful stranger's food just because they have a vagina. But either way, they aren't worthy of a second date and she can find someone else to go on another Foodie Call on. I've always said, if you wouldn't do it for a man you just met, then don't do it for a pretty face. If you are just a generous person overall though and would pay for a man's dinner who you just met, then that's fine.
So many men talk about improving one's self-respect and dignity, but when push comes to shove, they'll still throw it all away for a woman they don't even know. Say one thing, do another. I learned the hard way not to ever compromise my dignity. For all the outer problems I still have with myself and my flaws and shortcomings, at the very least I can not let people walk all over me and abuse me. How men better looking, taller, and more successful than me, can't also do this, baffles me.
But yeah. Some men can keep admitting all they have to offer a woman is money, and think being a pathetic simp makes them a "catch." And to answer the question, you NEVER go anywhere pricey on a first date. A $5 cup of coffee and nothing more than that. That way, you can gauge from that first date if she's entitled and trashy, or not.
Honestly, I think him paying for the first date is an encouraging gesture, and is more about tradition than rights. Especially if he initiated it, which I do admit, happens most often. I don't think the guy should always be the one paying, but particularly if you don't know each other that well, or you met organically, I think I'd be kind of weirded out if he demanded I split the bill with him. Because either he's one of those guys who thinks every woman is a die-hard feminist, so 'equal rights, b*tch.' Or he's broke, in which case, we could have just gone for a walk together or something.
Though, if I offered to split it with him and he accepted, that's a different matter. I don't think I'd have a problem with that.
I'm traditional so I would always pay (unless for whatever reason she was dead set against me paying). But if I somehow knew that she EXPECTED me to pay. I wouldn't want a second date with her.
I don't see why this subject is constantly brought up! I don't know of many women that want a free meal so badly they'd agree to a terrible date. Most women put a lot of work into a date. A first date generally isn't that fun. It's the feeling out period you hope they' truthful. How f***ing cheap are you if how much you're spending on her is what's occupying your mind? I'm a cheap MFer, and that's typically the LAST thing on my mind. If you can't afford her company don't ask her on a date till you can. And know yourself first! I take her where I can afford to take her. If I'm not high falluting enough for her taste she can F***off! I'm not trying to impress anyone. 🤣🤣🤣
Well this is the problem. The definition of a first date for most men in 2022 should be a coffee and both should go Dutch. In my opinion men should vet women more appropriately... spend a little more time getting to know them through video calls and phone calls. Then you can actually have a decent first date with god forbid a plate of food. Most men text a few times and say wanna meet then expect them to pay half. Well that of course makes sense because they don't know them or vetted them properly.
I'll agree with that.
Sorry I come from a time before phones and messaging where if you didn't have a blind date, you did have to get to know her a bit first. 🤣
Dude I am 51 I hear ya lol
I think this everytime I see an under 30 pink on here post about guys who leave them on read. Because these women were born with cell phones in thier hands. The never knew a world where a boyfriend couldn't be accessed like that. I'm not saying that some guys don't abuse this feature. But it sets up an unrealistic expectation of access to women.
I will never in my life pay a penny for a woman's food and dating is not necessary to get free sex with women. In fact, women go on dates with multiple unattractive men for the sole purpose of getting free food.
Foodie calls happen because the guy isn't smart enough to vet the woman appropriately but thanks for the link lol
I personally don't have a problem paying for the first date, and if she asks to split I'm very likely to decline that.
It's something I do with friends also, I like doing it. And just like how my friends will often return the favor and pay. I'd hope my date does that too. It would show that she's also interested.
Normally i go with the idea of whoever asks pays. With my ex, she took me out the first time and she paid, second time i asked her to lunch and i paid. Throughout the relationship we'd often take turns, we didn't keep count of who paid when, we just vibed it cause we liked each other and liked doing nice things for each other.
As a trad woman looking for a trad male I probably would not have gone on a date with someone a second time if they did that. However I think women who are wanting a financially 50/50 partnership rather than a traditional marriage should not have the man paying for them as a standard.
Honestly not with me. First of all I don't like splitting bills, even with friends and family we always take turns on who pays.
For dating I like the principle of who asks for the date, should also pay, cause your inviting that person.
So for the first date I personally see him paying as him being serious about getting to know me and not just seeing me as something casual. As if he is already ready to invest in me emotionally too and him respecting my time.
I do reject guys if they don't pay at the first date that they invited me to and it's not for financial reasons cause afterwards I don't care who pays.
I have no problem paying or whatsoever and I'm someone who pays most of the time for my friends and partners. I can afford that, but it's more about the principle of what I explained above.
To me it would be a minor negative but I wouldn't be v. upset about it bc I know this is a confusing area for a lot of people esp. for guys, they may be afraid they would offend me if they did pay for everything, which is not the case but I wouldn't blame him for being unsure. The reason it is a minor negative is that I think it would show a lack of confidence, but, not a big deal I would not refuse a second date only over this.
Sure, a date is where both sides enjoy each outher company, I am not there to get paid to entertine him or him me
Spliting the bill is all fine and great :)
I can also feel free to order then what I like over trying to think what be nice but not be an ass
Only case that it be an issue, is if they insist or invite to a excpinceve place, if you invite, you should be willing to take that exstra, be the same if if I pick a high price place
It really does depend on what kind of guy you are. Good video.
Pardon me, but I do not think any man realizes the amount of money and effort a woman spends preparing to go on a first date. She may get her nails done but a new outfit, get her hair done a wax probably even downloading a book on relationships because she is high quality. Their will be tons of maintenance she will probably even have her car washed and detailed. I would. Think about that. All that prep just because she wants to impress you for coffee or whatever. And some of you guys are like no it's all about her getting things for me. Grow up and be men. Your date is not your mama. Be a good host at the least if you ask someone out.
Equal rights
Equal dates
I’m actually glad I don’t have to be a gentleman anymore and can save that money
Female empowerment is awesome
Equal rights? What rights did they not have that they have now that makes us equal?
Ssssh I don’t think they realize that 🤣
Alicio keys?😂
Ha Ha Ha
There is no moderator involved here. I would let this one lie where it is.
@coachTanthony it happened on my question
Well let’s put this to the test I’m coach says he will let it lie where it is and this is my comment so I’m gonna copy paste and see if it gets removed again
Dude I don't know what's happening but someone somewhere is deleting some shit.
I think I’m being harassed because my post about Brittany griner was taken down for spamming like wth?
If he made the invitation, why would he do that?
If a woman insists on splitting the check on the first date, that's a sign that she isn't interested in another date. She pays for her own meal so the man doesn't feel entitled to some physical intimacy.
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