So apparently I'm self centred! Am I?

[lilyanony1]

We last spoke at 4.15pm he was on the way to see his sister to watch the match. I don't know what time or what game they're watching. I didn't even ask him because I assumed it was a 6pm kick off or there about!
I'm making Christmas cards, walking the dog, cooking dinner, tidying up and time runs away with me.
He calls me at 10.15 asking me if it's OK to still come over, I ask what time it is, but when I look at the time and say how long it will take him, he says 45 mins so I say no it's late and I'm tired.

He says cool, I then see a text from him saying he's leaving in a min at 9.12pm, that I didn't see earlier, as I was making my Christmas cards.
He then proceeds to text to tell me that he's annoyed at me.
Because he was closer to me than 45 mins away and he now has some issue with his key and he has to go to his sisters then back home.
Yadda Yadda Yadda.
But I must be held accountable for cancelling on him last minute.
And I need to say sorry!!!
But the fact I'm not apologising makes me childish and self centred..!
The dog usually goes to bed 8.30 I have just put him to bed at 11.20 I even sent him a pic to see. Thats not normal for me.
I think he's crazy!
And its feeling like a dumb power struggle.
I'm not declining because it's after 11 I'm declining because it's late and I'm tired!.
Feeling like he just wanted to piss me off!

[Anonymous]

In my life, any toxicity is rejected, rebuked and denied period. I wouldn't be with someone that acted this way period. If it happened maybe once perhaps (we are all human) I might understand. But anything after that and they would be ejected from my life. Peace, ascension, healing, joy, and tranquility are my priorities. Anything or anyone that gets in the way of that are gone!

[lilyanony1]

I agree and that's why I have no interest in apologising. He has been acting up a few times now, and I'm starting to feel like it's sabotaging tactics to get me to walk.
He needs to man up and say so if that's the case.

[coachTanthony]

That is super toxic you deserve way better then that nonsense.

[menina]

He was trying to make you feel guilty, don't fall into his trap. He's toxic, don't feel guilty. It's his problem, not yours.

[DizzyDesii]

His mf ass wouldn't have gotten a sorry from me

[lilyanony1]

I haven't apologised at all because I don't see what I'm supposed to be sorry for.

[DizzyDesii]

Good... dont apologize. His days as a boyfriend are numbered

[Surely]

You were totally in your right to do as you did!
If he was leaving shortly after 9:12 and it takes 45 minutes to get to you. Where was he at 10:15? Numbers don’t add up!

[lilyanony1]

Thank you... I don't have the patience for his behaviour anymore

[Surely]

You are welcome! Good luck 👍🏻

[Guardian45]

If he had the intention to go over to your place, then he should have planned it and asked you MUCH EARLIER!

WHAT IS HE, 5?

[lilyanony1]

Thank you. The conversations we had had in the day is now starting to make sense.
He was getting ready to go to his sisters at 2.30pm but couldn't decide if he was going to the barbers or not because he needed me to reconfirm that he's coming over.
It's clear he was playing games from the beginning.

[Guardian45]

It's not for me to decide, but he should make YOU the priority!

[lilyanony1]

I don't think I will ever be a priority to him. He said that if situations aren't convenient to me that I'm not prepared to bend. When that's not true at all. In this instance if he said he was less than 20 mins away I might have agreed for him to come over. But he lives an hour away and its closer to his house from his sister. Me cancelling meant he could go home, its cold n frosty neither of us drive. I've travelled the journey even getting stuck on the underground during train strikes with my dog, his travel crate and all my things making our journey 2 and a half hours long but he doesn't see the effort. I hope he snaps out of this nonsense in the morning...

[Guardian45]

Sounds like it's time to dump him! NEXT!

[lilyanony1]

🤗 I'm starting to feel like this might be the case. It's really upsetting. I've waited so long to find someone only to have this...

[FunkyMonkee]

I would say, he's self-centered! If my girlfriend told me she was tired and it was too late for me to come over, I'd be okay wit that, wish her good night, tell her I love her and that we'd see each other the next day. Then, I'd go play naked Twister with a few of my other girlfriends.
Well, that's not COMPLETELY true. None of us actually HAVE Twister.

[BLP11520]

That is late to be coming over... you are fine

[lilyanony1]

Thank you. I don't think he had any intention or thought he'd be slick.
I'd like to add earlier in the day he said am I still coming to yours? I thought it was odd. But he said it wasn't worth going to the barbers if he was just going to his sisters.
Why ask that when we already agreed to meet from Friday?

[MCheetah]

If you told him no and he disobeyed you and arrived earlier than 45 minutes, then that's all on him.

[lilyanony1]

He didn't arrive he went home but not before calling me childish and saying I need to apologise for telling him not to come to mine after 11pm.

[Billlewis]

Women should be at least somewhat self centered, and the more selfish she is, the more attractive she is to me. Really.

[trina_x]

i feel like if you dont feel confident enough that you're not self centred you maybe are
but in this situation imnot sure

[krin_m]

Ignore him