Should you reject somebody for the simple reason that they already rejected you months ago?

Question

If they reject you but change their mind do they get a shot or do you reject them for it?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I used to be big, REALLY BIG. I was almost 230 pounds at 5-ft short. I really liked a guy who was basically a BRAD/CHAD. Those type of guys that have all women throwing themselves at him. He was my manager lucky for me. And when I was BIG I tried being just friends with him, I tried talking to him, specially when I was new. But he’d keep conversations short, he would sound dismissive towards me. And he even would snitch on me to the boss, or write me up himself. I would hear that he talks smack about me with his buddies. And one of my female friends who knew him better, she tells me that he says he doesn’t like me, even as a person.

( I should point out that he was in a relationship at this point in time)

About 6 months down I had lost most of the weight that made me be HUGE. I was becoming more and more attractive by the day. Then he broke up with his girlfriend. This is when he’d follow me around at work like a lost puppy. He’d gift me random things out of nowhere. He’d watch me and stalk me from far away. And when I was in the same room as him, he’d be super nervous, awkward, and he’d be all clumsy. He’d be extremely quiet even when his friends would all be talking, because I’m in there. One time I even caught him blushing at me. I mean I liked him a lot too just because he looked like Brad Pitt/ John Travolta, it was cool so see some popular beefy guy walking around, but the damage has been done. He already showed me his dark side. He has shown me his TRUE COLORS.

Either way, he was a F-K BOY and was doing half the building anyway. He probably just saw me as another blow-up-doll, who gives it to him within a day or two. 🖕🏼

Im not about to spread my legs all the way open to someone who disrespected me and wanted me gone just a few months back. To someone that used to talk hella smack about me while I was dreaming about him.

I allowed him to chase, and follow and stare at me, and give me stupid sh-T for the fun of it. To tickle my ego.

And guess what I did. I would give him the stank eye, I would walk or turn the other way when I’d see him. I would be dismissive towards him.

Lets be real if I’d ever be his girl, or wife, or even just his sex-friend. The moment I got big, or pregnant, or got baby-weight on me. Or if I lost an eye or a hand or an arm or a leg. He’d then be dismissive and leave me? UNACCEPTABLE.

By the way he was also a single-dad, since he cheated on his baby mom when he was 19. 🖕🏼PURE TRASH. All those other mindless, brain-dead SL-TS can F-K him, let him be theirs to deal with. We should always let that be the case.

One day he finally quit because the Bosses were mad at him and planning to take away his manager position into employee, LMAO. And I was there his last day. And he waited standing there looking at me before he left. He waited a good 5-7 minutes. And then he said bye to me and the other guy. Like wtf you want me to say? LMAO! He probably wanted me to get on my knee and ask him out LMAO.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It depends on the situation.

I had an interesting situation a few weeks ago. I was going to go on a date with a guy & he totally forgot / got tied up with friends & never told me he was busy so I could do my own things. I got annoyed with him as he never apologized till I pointed out his inconsideration. And in turn he said that it was probably better if we didn't talk.

Fast forward 2 weeks & on a dating app I'm using (it's slim pickings around here; lots of drug addicts & drunks) the same guy happens to "like" my profile yesterday. You can't mistake me for anyone else on this dating site.

I'm sitting here thinking wtf. Like we could've worked through his inconsideration - it was a minor thing really when you put aside initial hurt-emotions - but he said he didn't want to continue talking. And now he's "liking" my profile though it's obviously me.

Was it rejection earlier? Or was it just hot emotions & poor response?

I'm willing to consider him again but I would be rather leery and likely reject him on the first incident of the same occurring again.

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I'm big on learning, perspective, openess and understanding.
So naturally, forgiving, not taking things personal, being non-judgey and failing miserably are things I am used to.
It should be said though that there are exceptions to every rule, I'm not perfect either.

To awnser the question..
No, I'm not rejecting anyone unless I think you're incompatible with me (or if sadly your unhealthy lifestyle is physically showing).
Changing ones mind is a sign of good mental health, especially if they're strong enough to be vocal about it.

I read some comments about how people feel like they're a second choice.. and I get that it's a mindset that comes easy.
But in my opinion, most people don't know what they are rejecting because they never offered a true chance. People mostly reject who they imagine you to be, not you as you are. So in a way, it's not really personal, just a door closing for the moment.
Also, I get that we'd like to think people of interest can or are being ranked from first choice to.. however long the list is. But like said, the rank is imagined based or their low-dimensional imagination of you. If they never hang out with you for real then what meaning is there to read into about being a second choice if the parameters of your rank is superficial in nature.
But ofc, that is not to say that you should push for it, just put them back in the friendzone.
I'm not holding a grudge unless they do it in a way that insults me for no reason. Then they'd have some explaining to do as well as some courting.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Nah man... there's no fun in that. One should always be gracious in these one-one real-time encounters we have. It is not about vengeance but it is about hearing her heart and interpretations. It is a test in Humility, Kindheartedness, and Love. It is the Perfect Storm and possibly the love of one's life !!

BlueScorpio · Answer

I'm gonna have to say no. Don't let anyone make you their backup plan/placeholder. A lot people will do this when they're bored or can't get the people they want, or have a dry spell with relationships/dates etc. Then they suddenly remember you and want to pull you out of their back pocket. Don't allow it, if you weren't their cup of tea the first time then you won't be months later. Wish them well and move on.

Account · Answer

Thanks but I would tell them no. That would mean their first or second or third option in line dropped so they decided to pursue me. I am not up to fill that spot.

NathanDavis · Answer

what if the situation happens that... "I would date you BUT this ONE thing, won't do"

then what if you work on that one thing and it is no longer an issue... now the two of you could date each other no problem... right?

although that one thing could be a "valid reason" as well as a "superficial reason" lol

Labokachulaa · Answer

I don't know this one varies I guess, but my opinion is they kind of just want to keep you there like someone else said as a place holder. Or if they've realize that they couldn't replace you, then they'll come back. "Spinning the block". I wouldn't give them another chance.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would probably be willing to do a date, but at the end of the day I am the backup to that person and nothing will change that view. They will be looking for the next best option because they would view it as settling by going back to someone who expressed previous interest.

PinkRose24 · Answer

That's a rude way to reject someone.

Some guy asked me out on messenger but I take forever to answer. I don't know if he got bored cos I take forever to answer. Anyway like 4 months pass by and he asks me out again. I ask him why is he asking me out and he says he likes me, he likes my face and I'm super beautiful. I kindly rejected him... I think. I told him thank you I appreciate that and he's very handsome but I'm not looking to date at the moment. He just replied with thanks, no worries cool.

He seemed unbothered I guess. Was that rude or not.

I would date someone if they rejected me badly though.

I wonder if he'll ask me out again... he didn't block me so.. yeah..

AdithyaR · Answer

Definitely would.
Rejections hurt like crazy for me so there's no way I'd give them another chance to hurt me.
Besides, if I wasn't good enough for them or their type or not to their liking back then, I see no reason to believe that it has changed.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It depends. Was she polite with her rejection? And has she not ridden or sucked any dicks between then and now? Then I would give her a chance.
But if the answer to either of those two questions is a yes, then No.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Um yea unless his name is — 😂 At age 10, i was supposedly rejected through word of mouth. Until i hear it from him directly, he’ll always have a chance 😂 As for the others, nope no second chances

AmyHew1tt · Answer

People can and do change their minds. It depends on how earnest the question seems.

Someone7800 · Answer

I guess that depends on whether the rejection came directly from their mouth and if you were still attracted to them.. Usually attraction fades quickly, as we're designed to get over crushes and we move on from them for the sake of our mental health, so the answer is probably no... in my opinion a person has to be really desperate to take back the person that rejected them... Like where's your pride? I get that people change over time, but they had their chance and lost it, it's as simple as that

sheenagwapa · Answer

you know i don't like when a person doesn't like me the first time arpund. i'm a hopeless romantic. but my ex dated me even my constant rejection and i loved him to dearh. i believe that you can develop feelings for someone but i still don't like it when a guy doesn't like me the first tome around

SnowedIn · Answer

Actually, not necessarily. If why you were attracted to them in the first place still exists and hasn't changed, then yeah, go for it.

Katyalov · Answer

In my opinion yes. Not for revenge but they could do that to you again. I had an guy go ghost on me for two weeks and then he came back to me for second chance with apology. I gave him a second chance and he ended up doing it again. I learned my lesson.

msc545 · Answer

More information about the original rejection is needed.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. To me, a rejection from either of us shuts that door permanently. I don't make exceptions with that.

Lis-the-librarian · Answer

Of course. Date somebody who is crazy about you and you feel the same for them. No other one sided thing will do. Unless you like wasting time that you dont have.

McKellar · Answer

Reject her back and tell her she had her chance and lost it. Fair and fair.

Seaspirit670 · Answer

You're a cowardly jerk that blocks people, because he doesn't have the guts to face the heat

Anonymous · Answer

I think that it can be true that somebody is having a bad day. We aren’t always in the best of moods and sometimes women give bogus reasons why they can’t date you that they say to ALL men, not just you, because some guys won’t take no for answer so we use that same excuse to reject every guy who tries to talk to us. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to go out anymore it’s okay. But if you do that’s also okay. Never take rejection personally

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I have rejected someone who rejected me and came back, and i would again. It’s a sign of a significant lack of self respect to let someone manipulate you in such ways.

SplatoonFan2 · Answer

It depends on the situation for me. If a person lies to me to reject me that I am not going to be interested and will move on to someone new. I also lied to a guy that did lie about being single but did happen to have a girlfriend. I will reject guys like that and not be interested. From online dating. Do guys also lie about having a girlfriend when theey not interested in me?

Shy_Steve · Answer

It depends how feel about them, If you still like them then "No" but if you don't like them any more then you should.

Lilith09 · Answer

How can one get a free copy of your famous book? I'm really interested in it, but I'm afraid it's a bit too expensive

Anonymous · Answer

Reject them back. Because if she doesn't see what a catch I am she pretty dumb, and why would I want to date a woman who's dumb?🤣🤣🤣

BCRanger10 · Answer

No, at least not just because of that. If they've moved on and simply aren't interested anymore, there's nothing wrong with that though.

Shinzu · Answer

No, usually women who reject me never regret it lol

mrpaythebills · Answer

No women who have turned me down do not get a vaild shot. I will sleep with them and then ghost them.

TaureanBull81 · Answer

If that happened to me I wouldn't be giving them another opportunity because I'm not someone's backup option when all else fails for them.  I'd wish them all the best and move on 😊👍

ThatCanucker · Answer

I dont have any experience with this as the rejections I get are permanent but id have to question why someone who rejected me is suddenly interested. Not sure I could look past that. Id always thing there was an ulterior motive.

Ninania · Answer

Depends on how and why they rejected me.

JCT666 · Answer

It really depends, but I think for the most part, I wouldn't. Chances are I've already moved on long ago.

Random_g · Answer

From the example... No

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

Probably, most I've women encountered that rejected me were respectful about it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If I'm still interested I'll bite.

Songomatic · Answer

Let it go. Keep it lite and forgive. Or move on

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope I am not someone’s backup plan.

Jennz6 · Answer

No, people can change their minds

BJP21 · Answer

I go by a three strikes rule.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Not interested any longer.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

I’d reject her. She wasted my time

Furious_Revelation19 · Answer

Treat others how youd like to be treated

Should you reject somebody for the simple reason that they already rejected you months ago?

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Should you reject somebody for the simple reason that they already rejected you months ago?

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