Would it be wrong to try to show a guy he has me as an option despite him “dating” a girl he’s never met?

[Audiofox]

I’m really attracted to a 39 y/o from my workplace. Very average looking with a dad bod and dark hair and really awesome eyes, definitely my type. We hit it off so well and there’s so much chemistry but we live in Ontario and he’s dating a 40 year old woman who lives in Texas! He constantly complains about how controlling and and clingy she is with him but won’t dump her. I’m naturally introverted and don’t want to break them up necessarily and I know he has low self esteem after a rough divorce. I just want to give him everything just to see a smile on his face!

How do I send that message without coming on too strongly or coming off as gross/trying to break them up? I’m not and I want him to be happy but I’d be the girl of his dreams given the opportunity….

Updates

+1 y

Just wondering why this question is being ignored.

[Nik1hil]

You are younger and closer to him!..

He definitely will prefer you over her!..

He is complaining, to see if you care and have feelings for him.. He wants you!..

Next time he is complaining this to you!.. lay it down for him..

Comment 1: " You are complaining to a younger closer women about an older long distance women"

Comment 2 " Psychologically speaking, you seem like testing me to see if, I care about you."

Comment 3: " If you care about me, or would prefer me. over her, Just say it, there is no point in bad mouthing her in front of me, because I never met her, so things are hard to believe when just words."

[roy_ricky09]

Perfect

[Nik1hil]

Thanks AI bot for the MHO, I hope asker finds the perfect man that makes her happy.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Good for him bad for you and you have to consider the message your sending I know you have somebody but I want you anyway and if he does that to her what makes you think he won't do that to you. How a relationship starts is how it ends I'd it starts on a fucked up note it will end on one. If he's taken find someone else why would you want to date some one where you work anyway if it ends badly you'll still have to see this guy every day don't do it you deserve better

[Audiofox]

I haven’t sent a message at all this point. I haven’t even told him how I feel or openly flirted with him whatsoever. I would rather wait to see if things end with his girlfriend who lives in another country but instead all I get is listening to him complain about how clingy and controlling she is and I haven’t used this as a springboard either. I was only asking if it was wrong to send a very subtle message that were he ever single again I would do everything in my power to make him happy.

[Bklynbadboy12]

If he's talking about his girlfriend in a negative way behind her back door even bother dating him he's not a good guy. That's some coward shit if she's so bad why doesn't he just break it of instead of talkin shit about her behind her back. There is nothing wrong with that girl he's just trying to smash

[Bklynbadboy12]

Thanks for the MHO

[AmeerX]

Oh I don't think you are breaking them off if she is not really doing good for him.

As you said he deserves better. If you can provide him then you should not feel guilty about it.

But try not to talk directly about your love for him. Just tell him you want to go out to movies or ice cream 🍨 or anything like that. Seduction isn't a bad thing because your intention is pure.

The caution you should take is that he doesn't feel like you are suffocating him.

[AmeerX]

Already gave my opinion.

You know you shouldn't try to be a second option but since you have decided you should be ready to do the necessary things to get that man

[roy_ricky09]

Just dont!

[Audiofox]

Would he not want to date someone a little closer to home?

[roy_ricky09]

That is his choice, why are you involving yourself in the equation. It sounds like you are targeting him.
Rest is your choice. It is never a good idea to get involved in anyone elses matters for your own profit. Yes, a lot of people will disagree with me, but I know it is wrong.

[Audiofox]

Did you read what I wrote? I said I don’t want to break them up, just for him to know that I’m an option of they do break up since he appears to be pretty unhappy in his own words anyway. What you mean “target”? It’s like you think I’m trying to attack him. It’s quite the opposite. I just want to give him the love and loyalty of a good woman without being clingy and controlling and actually existing in person to have sex with sounds like a better deal to me….

[roy_ricky09]

Ma'am, what you sound like is you expect them to break up and then you can put yourself in the equation. If he needs you, he would reach out to you. Why are you putting yourself on a shelf?
Anyway. your explanation doesn't match with your previous questions. do what you feel right

[Audiofox]

I didn’t say I would sleep with him right away either or that it would work out between us or that I would force it.. etc. You’re applying quite a number of assumptions here. I’m not making any moves at all as long as he’s not single but I find it hard to believe you can date someone who doesn’t even live in the same country as you! Sorry, not sorry.

[roy_ricky09]

See.. You are being defensive and I hope you are mature enough to know when and why people become defensive. Lol... I didn't have to do anything, you just proved it. Anyway no offence. It's your call

[Audiofox]

You seriously consider it “dating” when they live over a thousand miles away? Lol okay.

[roy_ricky09]

Why does it concern you?

[Audiofox]

I’m just confused about why you think I’m actively trying to break them up. But also confused about why you think that even counts as a relationship to begin with. Why would he complain to me specifically about awful a girlfriend she is? I’m not actively trying to ruin his “relationship”. I’m just trying to subtly let him know he has options that consist of real, younger women right in front of him. I’m not arguing with you anymore. You’re clearly just bent on making assumptions about me for doing nothing more than having a crush on someone which isn’t a crime dude, even for women!

[roy_ricky09]

Good for you