I have a history of jumping in head first with relationships. I’m very quick to develop feelings, even before meeting in person. I know what comes after that, every time, but I can’t help it. I’m a deep lover. Too hard, too fast, I fall for a girl. Typically I would like to say for the right reasons, I see green flags light up everywhere. And it happens so fast, it’s hard to catch the red flags. And I get my heart broken. Last time it was bc she was already in love with someone she didn’t know when they were coming back. I knew, and ignored it bc that’s how blindly in love I fall She was only 18, I was 22. Now I’ve been talking to this 18 yo (I’m 23), and everything about her, I like. And I’m worried I’m gonna miss the red flags, and cause myself a world of heartache. The good news is, she was upfront about one thing: She doesn’t want to be solely committed right now. She’s in college, so I get it. At least I know what to expect. Problem is, as much as that should be an amazing thing for me, a non-commitment relationship, I don’t know if I can handle that. It’s a lot harder for me to find a partner than it is her for starters, but idc about that honestly. I’m likely to get jealous, because I’ll get feelings for her, and I won’t be able to stop it then. Should I cut her off? Is it there a key to getting past these emotions so I can enjoy a beautiful relationship? From her interests, to passions, to motivation and drive, she seems perfect for me. What do I need to do to open my mind up?
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Control yourself. not difficult.
You already know your pattern, which is that you emotionally commit before the relationship is actually stable, and that makes you ignore incompatibilities because the fantasy feels stronger than reality. Since she already told you she does not want commitment right now, you should believe her, because if you know jealousy and attachment will hurt you later, forcing yourself into a casual situation will probably end badly for your mental health. could really help you slow down emotionally, recognize red flags earlier, and build healthier attachment habits so you stop falling too hard before trust and consistency are actually earned.