If he threatens but never hurts you, is it still a red flag?

Question

We were in a restaurant today and I was asking for some money as I was broke and he was like I should know he won't give me (based on a past issue anyway).

I threatened to walk out and he threatened that if I so much as got off the chair he would make me cry with his belt. I stayed cause I got afraid but he later apologized for causing me to fear. Still a red flag?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Yes. Absolutely. That IS the red-flag! (the 'getting hurt' part is what you're trying to avoid by SEEING the red flag to warn you...'this guy will hurt you')

There is no more sure sign ON THIS EARTH that a man is going to become physically abusive to his partner than these threats. This is an abusive guy. He may not have hit you yet. But he will. Red flags literally do not come any bigger than this one. Leave that relationship. FOR SURE.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's still a red flag all you did was ask for some money, if you are a stay at home wife you have every right to have some money to take care of the household he's in the wrong.

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

I try not to judge too much based on a few sentences somebody writes at one moment in time bc that can be misleading, however if your relationship is like this makes it sound, you really should get out of the relationship today. JMO good luck!

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Yes. He pretty much threaten you with assault, if you have another argument again it could turn violent. I would leave the relationship immediately, if he hasn't hit you yet eventually he will once he gets mad enough.

DaveJord · Answer

Yeah, it's a red flag, what if you go of the chair? You will never know right, its call intimidation and it's a bully tactic. Usually not a good thing to do.

But you were asking for money, and that kind of not a good thing either, so you both sound like you got something dysfunctional going on.

Summeroflove · Answer

Stop using him for money. If you’re not happy with him leave the relationship

lightbulb27 · Answer

that whole relationship is a red flag. something is really messed up.

climb up a mountain, get a new perspective on your life, this relationship, and better relationships. And start over.

every day is a chance to start over and fresh.

I don't recall ever threatening to beat someone who is broke, with a belt, because they asked for money. He obviously feels used, insecure, and who knows what else. do not... in any way shape or form, make a baby with him.

SnowedIn · Answer

Gigantic red flag accompanied by flashing red lights and blaring sirens.

20yearsolder · Answer

Hell yes it's a red flag. What the fuck are you doing with this guy? Are you that needy?

BeMuse · Answer

You're both psychos. You're trying to extort him for money by emotionally abusing him and he's threatening to physically abuse you.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, it is only a matter of time before he gets physical.

aaron210419 · Answer

No fuck that, leave. Things like this never get better without some kind of therapy or counseling. There are some deep seeded issues here that and you don't deserve to be threatened like that. One day he may actually do what he says.

OddBeMe · Answer

Uh yeah. Break up, get a court order. Try to record document all these red flags and be on alert when he’s around.

AmeerX · Answer

He needs to control his anger and you need to work on it with him

BJP21 · Answer

Yes it is. Start packing. Dont even think twice.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Abuse normally starts with verbal threats then physical follows.

Leave this idiot and don't believe whatever that comes out of his mouth as that is meant to make you feel secure so that you don't leave him. It's a trap.

AimeeKyle · Answer

Absolutely. Words will likely turn into the real thing…. Even if it doesn’t, depending on what he says, it could be considered verbal abuse (which can be just as bad).

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Yes. Definitely still a red flag. Just cause he hasn’t doesn’t mean he won’t. Words get put into actions very quickly.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You both have a shitload of red flags, and your relationship is a model example of what not to do. (But we've been over this before.)

loveslongnails · Answer

This doesn't sound like a relationship, it sounds like a shit show.

Anonymous · Answer

Get rid of him and file a restraining order against him. Or hire a hitman and have him bumped off. I'm flat out serious when i say those things. The guy is a psychopath he's psychotic for even saying such things to you

Wise4myage · Answer

Absolutely, its never a good thing to threaten others.

msc545 · Answer

Giant red flag. Dump this asshole before he really hurts you.

dustybiker · Answer

If a dog growls its a warning to a bite.

Jennz6 · Answer

Yes, I would be scared too

XXblack88 · Answer

It's definitely a red flag.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

I think it was a reaction to your behavior and your past doings

sassyredhead · Answer

HUGE RED FLAG

MikeInHawaii · Answer

YES!

EaterPeter · Answer

Yes.

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes it is

If he threatens but never hurts you, is it still a red flag?

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