Would you date a woman who embodies the opposite of what you complain about in women, but at a cost?

Question

(Assuming she is physically attractive to you).

Men complain about getting bored with women (including their partners), get annoyed by their emotional needs and anxieties, get repulsed and frustrated when facing a discussion that is not faced with with logic; complain about women wanting gender equality, thinking they wouldn't do their part or that they wouldn't offer enough on the table in exchange; complain about women being difficult to talk with and "expensive".

Now, imagine a woman who counters the complaints: she shares the same interests as yours with the same depth, has a technical and goal-oriented mindset, is confident and insightful about any topic you open, takes a lot of initiative to drive the day, is not anxious, doesn't feel gender inequality effects, doesn't need a boyfriend (but accepts one), is very logical and assertive during conflicts, coherent, chill and very easy to start any conversation with, men have an unusually very good esteem of her, she manager herself alone by a lot, reasons like a man would, knows what she wants, is generous, trustworthy.

All this can easily come with a cost that is typical of any "too" independent individual: she is sometimes cold and drastic, likes sex but doesn't easily commit to a relationship, doesn't perceive your authority, puts in you in circumstances that imply gender equality, is often too busy for your emotional needs and fully absorbed in her interests, doesn't reply fast to your texts, can't fall for any mind game or power struggles and reads your intentions in advance, doesn't forgive you by just by "missing" you, fights about strongly grounded opinions, is not afraid to offend you with a "no", has male friends she shares interests with, she needs alone-time and if you don't follow her initiatives she leaves you behind.

Is that a cost you would pay?

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

"(Assuming she is physically attractive to you)"

"Men complain about getting bored with women (including their partners)."
Yes.

"get annoyed by their emotional needs and anxieties."
No, it's sociopathy thats annoying.

"get repulsed and frustrated when facing a discussion that is not faced with with logic."
Yes, unless it's funny.

"complain about women wanting gender equality, thinking they wouldn't do their part or that they wouldn't offer enough on the table in exchange;"
If she isn't doing her part, it's not equality. Equality is wanted, feminism is whats bad.

"complain about women being difficult to talk with and "expensive".
Women are not children or pets, they shouldn't have a financial upkeep cost.

"Now, imagine a woman who counters the complaints: she shares the same interests as yours with the same depth"
Wonderful. 👍👍

"has a technical and goal-oriented mindset"
Also good.

"is confident and insightful about any topic you open"
Well if she shares my interests, of course.

"takes a lot of initiative to drive the day, is not anxious, doesn't feel gender inequality effects,"
Women cause gender inequality effects, so to me, this would mean she acts fairly, also good.

"doesn't need a boyfriend (but accepts one),"
And we have a red flag dealbreaker... She's gotta be the type to need one to be happy.

"is very logical and assertive during conflicts, coherent, chill and very easy to start any conversation with, men have an unusually very good esteem of her"
All good

"she manages herself alone by a lot,"
Like is good with lots of alone time? Nah, dealbreaker.

"reasons like a man would, knows what she wants, is generous, trustworthy."
All good.

"All this can easily come with a cost that is typical of any "too" independent individual: she is sometimes cold and drastic"
Dealbreaker, also not an independant person trait.

"likes sex but doesn't easily commit to a relationship,"
Massive red flag dealbreaker, she needs to crave sex AND commitment.

"doesn't perceive your authority"
Thats a plus... I don't want her to see me or herself as an authority.

"puts in you in circumstances that imply gender equality,"
Thats also a plus.

"is often too busy for your emotional needs"
Dealbreaker.

"and fully absorbed in her interests"
Thats a plus.

"doesn't reply fast to your texts,"
Dealbreaker unless sleeping or didn't hear phone.

"can't fall for any mind game or power struggles and reads your intentions in advance,"
Thats a plus.

"doesn't forgive you by just by "missing" you"
Dealbreaker, I'd personally never do anything that shouldn't be forgiven.

"fights about strongly grounded opinions"
Dealbreaker, but also Impossible if she shares my interests, hobbies, views etc and is logical and calm as mentioned above. Seems to be a contradiction here.

"is not afraid to offend you with a "no","
Why would she give a no?

"has male friends she shares interests with,"
Thats a plus, they are also my friends too.

"she needs alone-time and if you don't follow her initiatives she leaves you behind."
Huge red flag dealbreaker.

I'll pass.

virtue2332 · Accepted Answer

That all sounds like a complicated way to think about a relationship. People shouldn't take a complaint soo hard and use it as a starting point to communicate. Part of that communication is how that complaint is voiced. The facts are relationships evolve and it's important to effectively communicate and collaborate when something comes up. People have to be considerate and come up with what works for them vs listening to what someone else says how things should be. You can take ideas and try them but with the understanding that what works for someone else doesn't have to work for you. I'm going on 20 years married and things I may have complained about early on were more about me then what they were doing. I had to learn to communicate better because terms or actions may mean different things to different people so you have to be considerate of this. People see us and most of our friends are divorced and they see our marriage as perfect. Is it of course not but we focus on and share the things that bond us together and collaborate to find solutions that work for us when something comes up. The more that happens the easier it gets.

JasminTheRose · Accepted Answer

You just described a man or a woman with high masculinity. You should be a man who is more on the feminine side to get along with her or move along because you will always be insecure in this relationship.

Summeroflove · Answer

You know there is extremes on both sides of traditional and modern. Finding balance and just finding someone you love and are happy with.

What different people want and need is different too so that kind of woman might be perfect for one man and totally wrong for another

Guy13 · Answer

No. The whole idea makes no sense to me and is at best counterproductive.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

These characteristics you're describing exactly who I am as a man. All these things are good and everything but I have to keep in mind at the end of the day women have their own wants and needs as well and that is an emotional sensual bonded connection women want a relationship that's based on emotions she wants to be held she wants to feel loved she wants to be understood a lot of men don't realize when a woman is having a problem she just wants them to listen and hold her she doesn't want her problem fixed. As long as a man fulfills a woman's emotional needs and he is not overly needy and I know this sounds horrible to say but this woman recognizes other women have eyes on him he's more desirable she's more to stick around just like a man who's confident stands above and he's recognized by other men he's also more desirable. But at the end of the day any healthy relationship is about compromise on both ends it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders you think similar to I do but at the end of the day there has to be some level of compromise and I make sure a woman gets her emotional needs from me and I want her to give me the respect admiration and pursue only me and give me attention when I require it I'm not the type that needs it all the time but if we're dating I would like to see you for like two three times a week that's leading to a relationship but if I'm just getting to know somebody I'm only see you once a week.

Berethor · Answer

Women being too sensitive is usually what ruin my relationship with women, they got offended by trivial things, so yea it sounds adventurous but I might as well take my chances with a tomboy, really the only thing that bother me is if she is a ho. She too busy for my emotional needs? I am a man, not a woman, I don't have much emotional needs in the first place. Can't fall for any mind games, who needs that if she likes sex on a man's level? as for authority, yea it might be an issue to dominate her, but I should be able to do it as a man, but even if not, we are not sith, so theoretically there might be no need for dominance between us.

Weapon77 · Answer

So, this is a hilarious question to me because the "costs" you just mentioned literally describe every girl I currently know who is single 😂 And that is the real problem. Almost all of these girls are out here trying to act like men, and it's fucking obnoxious because they aren't even acting like the good men (like me). They are acting like the shitfuck men who cheat on their girlfriends and such. I don't mind women who act like women. I'm highly logical and stick to a code of honor, so being around women who are more emotional can annoy me if they go too far, but usually it doesn't bother me because she is the spontaneity, and I'm supposed to be the structure most of the time.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Honestly you're talking about the same kind of woman in a weird way.

For example if she's a feminist she will stand up for her weird feminist ideas. If she's not a feminist to the extreme she will accept a man's leadership if he says feminism is stupid.

You're talking about like a hypothetical woman who stands up against a feminist man telling him he better be traditional or she walks... except one she's not going to be that confrontational or engage in a casual enough relationship with such a man to even be in that position and hypothetically that feminism man would not be complaining about a woman telling him what to do anyways. Smh. Just as a practical matter I'm not sure this situation is at all common.

Massageman · Answer

F. Men look for sexual intimacy followed by soulful intimacy. Women go for soulful intimacy first before letting someone in for the sexual part.

Mark Gungor, "Tale of Two Brains" explains it in an honest, humorous, right-on-the-mark 7 minute presentation. Check it out.

chilldude33 · Answer

No, I like women being emotionally volatile. That's where the fun is.

"Business women" are the boring ones. I don't want to hear about percentage revenue or whatever.

Talk to me about astrology and puppies. Although, I would get jealous if you pay more attention to cats and puppies...

verza97 · Answer

I wouldn't consider any of the qualities you've listed as a "cost" as actual downsides. Most men these days actually  want  a woman who will be their equal in a relationship. Someone who sees me as in "authority", lacks her own interests and strongly-held beliefs and can't cope with any time away from me isn't somebody I would want to date in the first place.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Nah, I would pass. I don't complain about those qualities in women anyway, but the "too independent" is just signing up for needless headaches.

HighValue · Answer

My complaints are different from those complaints.

Andres77 · Answer

Studies show…

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Or I can buy a dog for companionship. A fleshlite for sex, and hang out with my friends for social activities. Then I get all the benefits of a woman with none of the bullshit

LiamJHayden · Answer

The only things I complain about are obesity and being a drama queen, so yes, I will and do date women who are the opposite.

MrGSpotHer · Answer

It's just the last few things from men onwards I'm racest to men

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

That sounds like my ideal woman. A true feminist

Would you date a woman who embodies the opposite of what you complain about in women, but at a cost?

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Men, would you date a woman you found unattractive and actually love her?

Would you date a woman who embodies the opposite of what you complain about in women, but at a cost?

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Men, would you date a woman you found unattractive and actually love her?

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