Is it okay to ask your boyfriend if he ever thought of leaving you?

[Nimsay]

We recently had an argument, and he's very apologetic. He has a nature of secluding himself when he is trying to regret, feel sorry, or is hurt. I'm kind of freaking out because of this nature of his and want him to come back to our normal routine as soon as possible. It's not like we are disagreed on anything still. We haven't fought and do not have more complains. He said a lot of apologies, but i'm trying to make him forget it. He's not able to. This makes me think of weird questions to ask him for my assurance of our relationship. Any piece of advice from GAG?

[blackgaletiger]

There are some questions you dont ask
“Do you love me if i was -”
“Do you think im pretty”
“Would you leave me”
If he is with you let that be enough. If he wanted to leave you he would. Men are creatures of actions. These mind games dont go over well with us. If he needs time to work on himself then imagine what would happen if you put these unnecessary thoughts in his head. He probably has thought about it but those are thoughts. You suppress those thoughts and focus on working threw the problem. The more you overthink an issue the harder it becomes to fix it

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. If you feel like asking. Ask. But make sure you want the answer. Wish you the best.

Sometimes people have to ask hard questions.

[BarryLiverstone]

If he’s secluding himself then you need to give him space to heal. If you try to force him back that’s going to come off as a negative to him. So just let him work it out and trust he will find you when he’s ready.


Why freak out?

[Nimsay]

I don't know his state makes me worried. He said he feels depressed about this all. I want to be there for him, but we're 6 hours away, and he's talking but not enough.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ldrs are tough. Just let him know you are supportive; something like :
“Babe I know we had some rocky talks and I’m sorry for ___. But take your time and I’ll be here when you are ready to reconnect”

[BarryLiverstone]

Show him that you trust he can work this out on his own and try to focus on other things till he talks to you

[Nimsay]

oh god this is so hard. I feel so much empathy right now.

[BarryLiverstone]

Which is a good trait. That’s one reason ldrs are hard. Why not write down your thoughts in a letter you can give him after you two reconnect

[AnUglyBarnacle]

You can, but you may not like the answer. He may ask you if you have thought about leaving too.

[Nimsay]

i already told him my statement about this. So now i'm wondering if he ever had these thoughts too.

[ArtemisSilver]

You're not going to like the answer.

Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

[Tracker1958]

I can answer that one, he thinks about it everyday.

[In_Trance]

I would advise against doing this

[Nimsay]

can you explain more, why?

[In_Trance]

Are you prepared for the answer you don't wanna hear?
This won't ever go away once you hear it

[Nimsay]

okayyy

[Jennz6]

Yeah ask him

[Nimsay]

can you explain more, why you think so?