I want to know if constantly thinking about leaving your boyfriend is normal?
For context I am in a interracial relationship with my boyfriend we have been together for nearly three years now this is my first time in an interracial relationship and we have had many hurdles to leap over In our relationship. I have never been opposed to interracial dating and I don’t mind helping people understand a different perspective but being in this relationship, I’ve just realized how draining it is to constantly try to get someone to understand you and it has taken a toll on me it’s exhausting and it’s extremely lonely but he does try to understand me so it makes me feel guilty to feel that way.
On top of that we had a lot of problems at the beginning of the relationship that maybe I should have left him for but I didn’t. For example he had really bad anger issues and he yelled a lot, he broke things, put a hole in the wall, he put his hands on my cat because they had a bad relationship and he even pushed me once out of drunken anger. He also has done some things that are sneaky and further damaged my trust in him.
Now we are at a point in the relationship where I feel stuck because he has completely changed, he is not a quick to anger, he helps around a lot, he’s sweeter, and more affectionate which are all things I have asked him to do, so now he is the best version of himself and it’s great but I feel checked out, I feel like I can’t really appreciate the things he does now because I’m still hurt and stuck on the things he did in the past I feel guilty about leaving and scared that If I do leave I won’t find a man that is at the point that my boyfriend is at now. But I am constantly unhappy and thinking about leaving him.
Can I be able to learn to let go of the past and move on and appreciate who he has become or do I just cut my losses?
