How is dating many people before marriage not evil?

[Gloree]

I secretly started counting my older cousin's past boyfriends on her wedding day and I'm not exaggerating but they are up to 70. She started sleeping around at the age of 14.

I know her dad used to punish her a lot but it never stopped.

I kind of feel bad for the husband. Poor guy doesn't know how far on the line he is.

[msc545]

As long as the person with the high body count is determined to stop doing it and is *able* to stop doing it there is no problem. BUT:

In considering this, I have finally concluded (and conceded) that there is an increased probability of this sort of behavior, signifying a potential problem:

It is entirely possible to become addicted to your own neurotransmitter substances that are involved in orgasm and pleasure (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, norepinephrine, and others). Because these substances make you feel so good, and the lack of them makes you feel bad (withdrawal), like any other drug addict you are going to seek them obsessively - in this case by having sex. A lower frequency of sex of a lower variety (marital sex) will entrain neurotransmitters to some degree, but the optimal case for the addict is a lot of frequent, novel sexual experiences - a lot of sex with a lot of new partners - which is good for the addict but probably not so good for her marriage or relationship.

The probability of addiction increases as a function of the number of sexual experiences a person has.

All of this is also genderized in that it is relatively easy for women to satisfy their sexual needs since almost all men will agree to have sex if simply asked; for men, obtaining sex is often an expensive and frustrating task since women often refuse sex or make it contingent on a whole list of demands.

In the past, on this site, I have maintained that body count is NOT a predictor of infidelity, and this assertion, upon reflection and critical thinking today, was simply WRONG. I stand corrected.

[Gloree]

I admire your intelligence. I have fallen in love already.

[msc545]

Thank you! Who are you in love with?

[Gloree]

youuuuuuuuuuuu.

[msc545]

Me? Thank you!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

There are a lot of evil things “people” are saying aren’t now. Look at almost any movie or show now. They think common = correct

[Summeroflove]

Dating and sleeping around are two different things.


If she’s a good person now and isn’t any longer like that. But if you find she’s cheating. Tell him

[surebruh]

For me its all context, I fully understand dating many people for compatibility and in my old age know possible partners I could encounter have had many partners. The amount of partners sexually isn't what bothers me, what bothers me is a clear indication that either the person is SHIT at relationships (can't commit, gets into them too easy) or sleeps around excessively for short term pleasure to hide their unhappiness which automatically makes me think I'm just another dick in their life and for that unless they are a sex worker its entirely unacceptable to just be a number in their fake ass body count.

[strraku]

70 is not many , its too many
lets say she started dating at the age of 16 and got married at 36 thats one boyfriend every 3 months on avg

clearly indicating the loses interest very easily and unfortunately.. most probably it is going to happen with the new guy too

[Gloree]

but she married this one and I don't see her like the divorce type. she seems to be enamored with this one. well she was enamored with the other ones as well. anyway I'm happy she's settled down.

[strraku]

I hope she doesn't leave this guy

[Gloree]

I don't think so. besides she is determined to prove her father wrong. cause during the arrangement my uncle, I mean her dad asked her if she won't bail later and end up wasting everyone's time and she said she's fine. She later told me that the last thing she wants is to have a failed marriage and have her dad say I told you so.

[Berethor]

Yea hos are evil you can say, hos are not wife material, he is a poor guy for marring her.

[exitseven]

As long as you don't try to deceive the guys you are dating it is not evil.

[Anonymous]

How can that possibly be evil?

I have heard it all now.

[Gloree]

so you won't care if your date has had many lovers?

[Andres77]

do you think she’ll cheat on him? Or is she done being wild?

[Gloree]

I don't think so. besides she is determined to prove her father wrong. cause during the arrangement my uncle, I mean her dad asked her if she won't bail later and end up wasting everyone's time and she said she's fine. She later told me that the last thing she wants is to have a failed marriage and have her dad say I told you so.

[Andres77]

everyone can change if they have sufficient motivation.

[BJP21]

She got to test drive many guys. I guarantee she knows what she wants and likes.

[Anonymous]

Dating is about finding the right person. How is it evil?

[Jennz6]

It doesn’t matter