How Long Does Your Crush Last? What Do You Do To Make It Last Longer?

[anon1903]

so i have been told that i have the interest rate of a psychopath, and a psychopath gets bored a LOT.

there's a guy i like and he might like me back. but im afraid im going to lose interest in a few weeks, or even less. and he doesn't want to get in a relationship mindlessly, he doesn't want to repeat history.

so what's the secret of liking people and keep liking them?

ps. im not afraid of asking him out. i would be bummed out if he refuses, but oh well. i don't want us to get into something we're not down for. we're both introverted (and very selective about who we associate with).

Updates

1 y

He wants to be single for a while so

[the_bruh]

I learnt that the crushes i had would last longer if i kept thinking about them and created a personality for them in my own mind. And then live in a fantasy world with them.

[AdithyaR]

For me a crush can generally last a couple months.
I've never tried to make them last longer, always been trying to shorten it.

[anon1903]

Why don't you ask them out?

[AdithyaR]

Cause I know I've got no chance 😂

[anon1903]

Trying helps

[AdithyaR]

With my anxiety and self esteem issues, there's more risks to try than to not.

[anon1903]

I'm sorry 😔

[AdithyaR]

Please don't apologise, it's alright. I've learnt to live with it.😁

[anon1903]

That's good!

[Guy13]

I totally understand what you mean. Lots of times the buzz wears off and go to the next one to do the same thing. Counseling is the only thing that can provide professional strategies. Good luck with it.

[anon1903]

I'm a bit agoraphobic

[SnowedIn]

I have had crushes that last years.

As for making it last longer, I don't think you do. I think that the attraction and the desire to spend time and energy and experiences with that person will either self generate or it dies. Right? Either you want to be with them or it fades. And, if it fades, my argument is don't force it.

The secret to liking them and keep liking them? Be interested in them. In what they like. In who they are. In their daily changes. I've known my wife for 26 years. I still like her and I'm still learning about her. For me, one of the things to about being attracted to someone is getting to know them -- and that process can take... forever. Be curious. Ask questions. Learn.

[anon1903]

That's difficult 😭😭

[SnowedIn]

I agree. BUT I also agree with myself when I say that you are more than up to the task.

[anon1903]

Well, he wants to stay single for a while

[SnowedIn]

... that gives you time to make him fall in love with you.

[anon1903]

I'm not sure

[DizzyDesii]

Yea im the same. I lose interest kinda quickly too if we’re not on the same page (the page of them being like 99% of what i want in a guy). I have about 5 crushes who have lasted long (one being over a decade and the others being like 2-3 years with most being mutual), but im not as interested as before so i haven't tried to up things to the next level

[anon1903]

Exactly

[DizzyDesii]

The longer i get to know people, the more i realize i dont actually like them as much as i thought lmao

[anon1903]

Wow you nailed me

[DizzyDesii]

Haha

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I have liked the same guy for over 10 years, though he’s never reciprocated. What keeps me interested in him is how good we are as friends. He’s somebody I can talk to for hours, and also someone I can sit and be silent with. When something is weighing on my heart, I know that he’ll pray for me. I get along with his siblings, and they treat me like I’m part of the family.
Though he’s never indicated interest, I can only hope that I can find a man as good or even better.

[Kaneki05]

I have many and mine don't really stop. Though I do become detached if it's for my own health but I'll still think about them sadly.
A person saying no to you? And I thought I was crazy.

[anon1903]

He didn't say no...

[Kaneki05]

But your worried he might which is insane lol

[anon1903]

Not everyone's crazy about me 🤪

[Kaneki05]

That's hard to believe

[anon1903]

Stawph lmao

[Kaneki05]

Never even the more psychopathic need compliments :)

[DavidRaul]

Well for me its very difficult to build a crush on someone. I just had a strong crush on a girl in highschool and since then i didn't have a crush on any woman

[MementoMori777]

When I was in school they would all last that year I was on, then the next year I had a crush on someone else lol

[Akam93]

My crushes can last for years but eventually they fade.

[the_sinner]

If I realise that I’ve got no chance of hitting it off with my crush I try to not have a crush on that person anymore however hard I want to.

[NathanDavis]

I just don't crush on people... I grew up out of it before middle-school was over

[standardguy]

Well if we got disappointed the fire diminishes.

[sheenagwapa]

my crush is handsome, rich, hot and smart.

[WhitneySnow]

Focus on how wonderful your crush is