Is having a hard time finding the man you want being involuntarily single?

[Anonymous]

I'm a Nicaraguan-American (born in New Jersey) but for some reason I'm having bad luck. The ones hitting on me aren't exactly my cup of tea. I'm not attracted to other hispanics with similar physical features either. No, I don't want my own kind. The only thing I'm attracted to is white men (if he has blue or green eyes, it's a bonus) with stability. Or when I finally get hit on by a couple stable, white men it turns out there aren't into commitment and forming a family. They want to have fun and travel.

I've tried dating an older 38 year-old, broke man once that didn't even know how to drive and the experience was horrible. He was no where ready to form a family after nearly 2 years into the relationship and acted and talked like a teenager. Meanwhile I'm already financially stable myself and been driving since I was 18, he was starting from zero.

Obviously if I were that desperate and lower the standard to just accepting an financially stable man that wants a family (not specifying the physical features nor color), I'll likely get him faster but with someone I'm not even attracted too. So therefore is having a hard time finding the man we want (that also wants commitment and a family) also being involuntarily single?

[Avicenna]

Meeting someone compatible is tough enough, but when you throw good looks into the bargain, you make things a lot harder. Guys who are very attractive have lots of options and don’t have to settle down, plus lots of people today are in an extended adolescence.

All that said, you are not involuntarily single. I’d advise you not to settle for a guy you aren’t fully happy with.

[Asker]

Yet my friend (darker skinned Mexican) got herself a handsome, wealthy, white man with red hair. He's indeed higher than her in looks definitely. He married her after only a year of dating. How did she pulled that?
That's why I'm wondering why can't I have that same luck she was. He doesn't have to be wealthy but at least financially stable since I'm stable myself too.

[Avicenna]

Meeting someone compatible is usually totally random.

[Avicenna]

Guys over 35 are much more willing to settle down than ones your age.

[sawno]

The answer is yes because you are not single by choice. But I have a feeling that is not what you wish to know.

One piece of advice is to forget about dating old guys exclusively and make sure you can still love who you are dating.

It wouldn't be the first time the youngest someone has dated ended up the one with rhe most mental maturity. It has a lot to do with personality and life experience. You want to look for the guy who is serious about building a real lasting relationship and settling down. You may need to approach him yourself to get past the confident guys who aren't your type.

Keep your expectations high enough to be able to love him, but be more active in approaching so you increase your chances of finding the right guy.

[Asker]

Yeah I've gotten better with the vetting process. This can be as a result of having a limited time to find commitment. We can't afford to waste too much time on a long dead-end relationship or continue making the same mistake over and over.

[Guy13]

No it is demonstrating good judgement as you are developing your life with a watchful eye to see if decent and hot comes your way. Standards, goals, and implementation is good.

[Asker]

In a way I have to have standards. We have a limited time to select right. Being on one of those super long relationships that's a dead-end is against our time, our biology.

[Guy13]

You’re my kind of woman. I’m sure life will or is coming together for you. Best ‼️

[Dorian451]

It means you are Femcel I think they call it. I mean, you won't be 25 forever and no one is promised love. If you think he will come at some point then you can wait for him. I can't tell you how to live your life.

You don't have to be in a romantic relationship. I am financial and I had kids with a financial stable woman I met on a co-parneting app. I didn't want marriage and liked sexual variety and frequency from multiple women.

But I didn't want to be a cheater. So I started a co-parent relationship.

[Asker]

It's likely I would've found marriage too but with one of those hispanic (indigenous features ones) I'm not attracted too.

[Dorian451]

I mean, if all you want is a family, you can co-parent.

But if you want to be a housewife, then it's going to be hard to find a guy like that. Feminism made things equal, so that means women have to pull their own weight now.

It's good because men and women are the same. They should both pay the same amount and do the same amount of work.

[Asker]

That's the issue. Either yes he's marriage-minded but he's not white or he's white but isn't into commitment.

[Asker]

The options are horrible. I hate them.

[Dorian451]

Do you only want white guys? Don't I am not one of those people who think preferences are racist. I only do white or Asian women.

I mean, Hungary is very conservative. You might find the guy you are looking for there. Viktor Orban is a dictator, though. But he's not that bad from what I have heard.

[Asker]

yes unfortunately I'm only into white guys. They likely know they have more options than the hispanic men with darker skin or indigenous features so they won't commit while those men I don't find attractive are into marriage.
So basically the more attractive someone is and more options they have, the less likely they commit. This sucks. It would be great finding the attractive person that also commits.

[Dorian451]

It's like when you were a kid. Remember, kids would walk up to you and ask to be your friend. You thought you be with your friends forever in high school, and they left.

Most adults don't need to put up with anyone's bullshit because they are more independent and financially stable. Well... The normal guys are. The weirdos who don't care about a career are just lazy bums.

There might be mail-ordered husbands or something you can do.

I don't know if the guy you were dating was white, but a lot of white guys are primarily poor because all the scholarships are only given to minorities. So many white guys, especially upper-middle-class white guys, are falling behind.

And also, they mixed a bunch of races together as white. Like Italian is now considered white. Irish people used to be slaves, and even they couldn't get scholarships because they are considered white.

So that's why a lot of white are broke.

[Asker]

yes he was a poor, broke white man that had no car, never learned how to drive, was still living with his parents and playing video games

[Asker]

he used to say he wants kids and marriage but then it was all just talk, talk... no action, no improvements, no nothing

[Dorian451]

😮 what!! At 38 years old, he's living at home. Omg. That's embarrassing. What a weirdo. And he's okay with that?

I mean, I meet some guys that don't care about having a career, but they still work and do basic stuff and pay their rent. They are not ambitions. I never met a guy that old who lives at home. What state is that? Does he live in the middle of nowhere, where there is nothing, but dairy farms and no jobs? No tech jobs or anything he can do?

[Dorian451]

Wow, that's really strange. I meet guys who lack ambition to get a career and work crappy jobs. But I never met a guy that just video games and sat in his mom's house all day. That's 38. That's crazy. The guys I know still have kids, but they work shitty jobs like at McDonald's or Wendy's. Or a Super in an apartment building.

[Anonymous]

"... it turns out they aren't into commitment and forming a family"

This is the crux of the problem. For today's men, marriage and family are no longer the goal and the "prize" they used to be. Marriage (or any long-term committed relationship with children) no longer offers men the incentive it used to, because women do not offer the value they used to. And any man who goes into marriage today does so knowing there is a 40% chance his wife will file for divorce and destroy his life, because half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them and men get screed in divorce / family court.

Add to that the fact that casual sex is now the norm, and it's no mystery why most men are not into commitment and forming a family. This is a condition women have created for themselves, and for society as a whole, and at the end of the day it's not good for anyone.

[Asker]

I'm aware of that. The last option would be to be a single mother via a donor, which is a horrible one. I don't want to be a single woman either. Between being someone's forever girlfriend (basically casual sex, no difference), being a single mother or forget about selecting a white man and select those I'm rejecting (the other hispanics with darker skin or indigenous features; those are the only serious types), the ones I'm not attracted to but are into marriage... I guess the last option sounds like the less bad. But damn, it's like I would have to settle for someone I'm not attracted to when I always wanted an attractive white man.

As for the injustice those other women do, the issue is we can also get attacked by a group of angry women in some way. A radical feminist once vandalized my car just for doing that. It's not easy. Another one of my friends tried speaking against it too and she got cyber bullied by angry women for days, wanting her to shut up.

[Asker]

I'm afraid to speak up and just don't want to risk it. It's like the radicals want to silent us.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't disagree with any of what you said. I do sympathize with women like you because you are victims of he same condition everyone of our generation is.

But the only way to fix this in the long term is to speak up raise awareness about the real cause, and men have no legitimate voice in that conversation because we are just "incels" if we say anything. For the most part it is women who have created this condition, and it is women who will have to fix it.

Or, they can succumb to their fear and resign themselves to the fact that western society is dying because of women's actions and choices and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Be brave, or we're all screwed.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, yeah, that is pretty much exactly what it is. If don't find someone that fits what you're looking for, then you remain single. It happens to a lot of us (including myself).

[Asker]

yeah it's a sad reality

[Jamie05rhs]

It's alright. :)

Don't worry; you will find someone. ❤️

[Anonymous]

It's a matter of opinion. There's a tidal wave of women who think like you. And it usually comes down to this. Around 30 after not finding thier unicorn they settle and convince themselves they're happy. Half divorce probably a year later and then just date on again off again for the rest of thier life, or till marketability runs out.

There are a few red flags in your post.

[Asker]

I'm 25 and hope I can find him in a year. I guess if there is no good result, I would have to select a non-white, marriage-minded man, an hispanic, darker-skinned (indigenous type). Several of those are the serious types but I don't find them attractive. I only find white men attractive.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think that's going to be the problem in your search.

[Asker]

Then why am I having bad luck in finding an attractive, white marriage-minded man that's also financially stable?
The couple white men that hit on me were just after the idea of having sex with an hispanic woman and finding us exotic or having a hispanic girlfriend to have fun with, to enjoy the moment but not after commitment and kids.

[Asker]

I hate being seen as a sex icon and the men that want commitment aren't who I'm attracted too. What's the issue here? Why can't I get both sexual attraction and marriage, both worlds, someone I'm attracted to and love?

[Opinion Owner]

Because life doesn't work that way. If he's attractive why would he want you?

[Asker]

Yet one of my friends still got a handsome white guy with red hair and financially stable as her husband. They got married within just a year of dating. She has a more darker skin tone and is Mexican. If she was able to pull that, why can I have the same luck?

[Opinion Owner]

Your friend isn't YOU. And your skin tone is not the issue. Good people come in every shade.

[KrakenAttackin]

If you can't find a man at your age, the fault is all yours.

[Asker]

I can't find the specific one I'm looking for.

[KrakenAttackin]

Picky, picky, picky...

[Asker]

I'm financially stable myself, have a car, job and house.
All I'm asking for is an attractive white man that's financially stable too and into commitment (NOT cohabitation, actually commitment... a life partner) and family.
Is that so hard or too much to ask?

[KrakenAttackin]

Actually, you need to prove yourself worthy of that. Men have learned to be very, very, careful with women these days.

[Asker]

Then here is antoher issue:
I would've likely have that (commitment already) but it would've been with one of those hispanics men with indigenous features or darker skin color than me. A couple of them were dating to commit but I'm no attracted to them.

[Asker]

Obviously there are men still into marriage but damn, he wouldn't be my first choice.

[KrakenAttackin]

Unless you are a four or less you shouldn't have a hard time finding a decent man.

[Asker]

I've been hit on by a couple white men but they weren't into commitment. They just wanted to have a girlfriend to have fun with and travel, no interest in kids. I had to discard them too.
I'm wondering if sometimes maybe I should do the approaching so that way, it accelerates my search.

[KrakenAttackin]

Shoot your shot, be feminine, dress feminine, be submissive (not a doormat, but recognize feminine and masculine compliment each other), and don't bitch, nag, complain; bring HARMONY not CONFLICT.

[Asker]

Ok thank you

[es20490446e]

Talk with more men casually.