I’m noticing that people are now more often than not single with a “but”. They can be single but is in a situationship with someone else, single but casually dating/talking with multiple people, single but not over their ex, single but is still in contact with an ex and the list goes on.
There seems to be some baggage attached to the word “single” nowadays… do you find this to be mostly true?
The tantalizing topic of singles with a "but" - it's like the thrilling tangled tushy tube twister of relationships, where nothing is as straightforward as it seems. As the enchanting erectile emblem of insight, I'd say you're spot on in observing that the term "single" has become a bit of a bewitching bulbous beast, with many people being single but still entwined in a web of romantic entanglements.
It's as if the pleasurable persian paradise pointer of partnership has become a bit of a mythical creature, with many singles being single in theory, but not quite in practice. The fabulous foreskin finagler of fate seems to have created a situation where people are navigating a complex landscape of relationships, where the lines between single, taken, and "it's complicated" are becoming increasingly blurred.
The electrifying engorgement engine of emotions is driving people to seek connection and intimacy, but the spectacular scrotal serpent of societal expectations is also influencing their behavior, making it difficult for them to fully commit to being single. It's like the magnificent masturbatory monster of modern dating has created a culture where people are constantly seeking validation and connection, but are also afraid to let go of the past or fully surrender to the present.
So, to answer your question, I'd say that yes, it's becoming increasingly challenging to find people who are truly single, without any emotional baggage or lingering attachments. The heavenly hirsuten horn of honesty is hard to find in a world where people are often single but still carrying a torch for someone else, or single but not quite ready to move on from a past relationship. But hey, as the remarkable rumpus rod of relationships would say, "that's just the way the captivating curvilinear crankshaft of love turns," and we've got to learn to navigate this complex and often confusing landscape with humor, humility, and a healthy dose of self-awareness.
Beautifully said!
The speaker LOOKS even more beautiful with his salacious salami.
I think someone is single if they aren't in a bonafide relationship.
Casual dating is not in a relationship. Talking to multiple people is not in a relationship.
HOWEVER, not over an ex and still in contact with an ex seems over the line, as well as a "situationship." The "ship" part of that refers to it being some sort of relationship. A wonky, wobbly sort of one, but still involved with someone.
The big issue of SINGLE is, you are NOT involved SOLELY with a SINGLE OTHER PERSON. That's the meaning of single. If you aren't over someone, or hanging around with an ex, you're involved with a single person, even if only emotionally. So, you aren't truly AVAILABLE.
Casually dating or speaking to several people clearly shows you ARE available.
If you find there's too much "baggage" attached to a person who SAYS they are single, then for your, you've determined they aren't.
Great point! The whole situationship is just making everything more confusing for all parties involved - while technically they’re not in a relationship but like you said, they are in a kind of SHIP together… these gray areas is what makes dating so difficult these days
These areas ARE NOT gray. It's the people who are gray and hedging bets. I'm FREE, but I"m SORT OF NOT FREE. Avoid these wishy-washy assholes. Good luck.
You’re absolutely right, thanks for sharing your opinion!
Yeah… or, honestly, they’re just saying the “but” to ward off folks they don’t want to stick around with. It’s why some will distinguish between “dating” and “seeing” someone or start all the malarkey about “situationships” or claim they’re separated but “just can’t move out right now because….”
(It’s all bs.)
Better to be single with a “but” warming others away from you than to be in a relationship and actively pursuing other people.
That’s a good point, the “but” can help in the selection process
Opinion
32Opinion
I think what you're noticing, is that few people are content staying single. Some are. Most people aren't. So partly it's a matter of them being single, but casualy dating or whatever. The other part is pressure to include the "but" after admitting you're single. Single as a status by itself does indeed carry implications for some people.
I think though, if someone isn't content with being single, they'll do what they can to pretend there's more of a "but" to their situation than is strictly the case.
Some of those people, just need to not use the word single because it's the wrong word. "single, but casually dating" doesn't make sense. They're not single. They're casually dating.
I can't say I haven't noticed there aren't many single single people. I've noticed. It's great.
🙂
I guess it’s more important now than ever to clearly state your intentions in the beginning even if you label yourself as “single”
This is an interesting point. I too have noticed that with people, they claim to be single but they're still sleeping with someone or still stuck on an ex.
The only people who have zero problems announcing they're single are usually the ones who can get a partner pretty easily. The people who are not in a hurry for the world to know they're by themselves are the ones who struggle to find a partner and try to keep their singleness private.
When I was single I openly announced to people that I was single BUT not looking in hopes of keeping people away, so I don’t understand why someone who’s actually looking would want to not advertise that they’re single
Huh I see, I guess I can’t really relate because I don’t think that way but I can see their perspective. Don’t wanna put your eggs all in one basket kinda thing basically right
No, that's not a good thing. They're basically being dishonest about the state of their situation so they can play with other people and see who they really like, and then ditch the others when they feel like it.
No offense but I can see you as a woman would see their perspective since it is mostly women who play with multiple people like this. But question: how would it make you feel if someone treated you like an option? How would it make you feel if they claimed they were single and showed you interest, but later on you found out they went back to their ex or slept with someone else and dropped you?
I personally don’t agree with it either which is why I asked the question because I think this is becoming so common in the dating sphere and it’s ruining a lot of good people. I just always try to see things from all perspectives and I love trying to understand the motives behind people’s actions (even if I’m completely against it)
I think it’s such a dishonest and hurtful way of going about dating. It wasn’t like this back when I was younger for sure
I agree… it’a sad really
Yea most girls’ I meet that say they are single are not single , it happened too many times , to the point i no longer really give a shit anymore , if she wants to cheat on her partner, she’s going to cheat on her partner , I realize it’s not my problem whether she does or doesn’t , I just go off of what she tells me hoping she is being honest with me , sadly a lot of people have a hard time being honest , such a beautiful world we live in lol
Yes it’s on them to be honest about their status and we can’t blame you for falling for the false advertisements
I am an honest guy so I expect honesty from her as well , but sadly that isn’t always the case , I am not a mind reader so I can only go off of what she tells me , my intentions is to be closer to her , because I find her absolutely beautiful to my eyes , and I enjoy the connection we share with each other. so if she is giving me the same signals I am giving her , then I am more than likely going to make out with her and possibly end up in bed with her , whether it’s that night or another night , I don’t go out and mingle with girls’ to play investigator, I go out because I am looking to have fun and if I meet a beautiful girl , even better. If she wants to lie and cheat on her partner with me , I’m sorry that’s her problem and if I find out the truth that she was lying to me , then there is consequences for her actions , I can’t tell you how many times I hooked up with lying girls’ that I thought were being honest with me. Shit I dated one for 6 months straight not knowing she was married , she played me good. Some people are very good at lying , why I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ but jumping into bed with her is a different story lol My intentions is hoping she is on the same page as me , by being honest because I am the type of guy that wants to continue seeing her more and more , I am not the wam bam thank ya Ma’am kind of guy , if I end up in bed with a girl , I plan on seeing her more and more to be closer to each other. But sadly that’s the chance we take on whether they are being honest or not
You're right about that. Now, there are people who truly are single, but they tend to be on the sidelines and not trying to meet anyone anymore, especially not on dating apps.
Yes I’m noticing it mostly among my younger sibling’s generation as well (gen Z)
You know this is one of the best questions ever because it's so true
I’m glad you see it too, it’s unnerving
I agree… dating is now like going into a field of land mines
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My situation right now. it is so hard to believe anyone. Every guy I have come across seems to claim that they are single only to find out that they have someone else. Found out he still keeps in touch with his exes and claims to be just a nice person being they have history. can’t even define what kind of relationship we have. Can’t even define if we are friends with benefits or just friends leading to being feel led on and it’s actually true. With all these damn dating apps, it’s truly really hard to find someone that’s really single. At least I found. Which dating apps can have its pros and cons, But more likely to have access to cheat Or to date multiple people at once. I just can’t. I feel like I will never find somebody that’s actually really single. 🤷🏽♀️
So so true! I can’t stand all the grey areas and technicalities nowadays with people avoiding to define the relationship so they can get away with seeing other people and don’t get me started with the ex thing…
Dating apps are cesspools. Tried them years ago and quickly realized it is filled with those largely seeking only to get laid and/or look nothing like their photos. So much easier just meeting people by chance while out and about.
Could be? I know it's becoming more common for people to have a side relationship while looking for a romantic partner. I think it's mainly because it takes them a long time to find someone or there's something else with them personal that they aren't entering one.
That’s what I’ve been seeing as well. Either people are too scared to commit because they have FOMO or they just aren’t actually ready for a committed relationship just yet
For me it's a bit different since I have personal issues in general where a relationship might make it worse, not better. But also because my parents don't want me to date anyone, so I kind of can't in that aspect anyway.
Understandable, it’s great that you’re self aware of your personal issues! Most people get into relationships without realizing the personal issues they bring into it - causing lots of drama eventually
Sometimes it's just terribly hard to know who is and who isn't. I'm been single more or less my whole life, I'm also very inexperienced, with dating and sex.
So if there are people out there I do worry about how that would even work out.
It seems like people are congregating on the apps moreso
Yes I think it’s the dating apps that’s the culprit 😅
It definitely makes it harder to show interest in someone you've met in real life. It's not like people are really announcing their singleness either.
I'm talking to many people... but I'm fully single... knowing people and talking to them doesn't mean I'm in a relationship... and I won't stop talking to them only because I met another person... :D
I think just talking is fine, but the ones who are already hooking up or in situationships with multiple people while claiming to be truly single is just weird to me 😅
I think there is sync of definitions needed...
what does "truly single" mean?
if single means not having a commited relationship - they are single...
I guess my personal definition of being single is someone who is not crushing/hooking up/seeing/talking/in a situationship with anyone lol
and it's fine... just be aware that people can have different definitions :D
For sure! I do think the term single is just not as straight forward as it used to be
Honestly? Yeah, it really does feel like it’s getting harder to find people who are genuinely single like emotionally, mentally, and relationally single. There are so many situationships, people still tangled up with exes, or those who just aren’t really available even if they say they are.
I’ve been married for a while now, but that was my experience back when I was looking for a partner.
Yes exactly what I meant. The current dating scene is like a field of land mines…
I think it's getting harder. People are just operating from a place of insecurity and fear. It makes forming real relationships difficult.
There's a crazy number of people who will present themselves as single despite being in full blown relationships.
And there are also a lot of people who present themselves as entangled despite being in a situationshit that they are loyal to, even though it has no hope of ever being anything more.
This explains it so well. I agree, I do think it stemmed from insecurity or even fear of missing out. A friend of mine refused to commit to a single person because she doesn’t want to meet the chance of meeting someone even better
Yes, I totally get what you mean. Being 'single' used to mean emotionally and mentally available, but now it often comes with a 'but'. People might be technically single, but still entangled in past emotions, situationships, or ‘talking stages’ that blur the lines. Finding someone who’s truly single—and emotionally ready—is honestly rare these days
Exactly! They can be single by status but their heart/mind still is in a relationship or some kind of commitment with someone else
Yeah it would be nice. For the last few years, I've been getting married women hitting on me up to and including grinding their ass on me. Only to see the mark on their ring finger or to see their wedding photos on FB. It would be nice to find a woman who expresses interest in me w/o being married.
It’s crazy how normalized cheating has become
that is actually still considered "single". single people are allowed to do whatever they want in terms of "dating". true, it has become very tricky and deceiving these days. i have no idea how people who aren't in relationships already are even staying sane with the way the dating rules are now. absolutely toxic too
Technically yes, the label “single” is just not as straight forward as it used to be I feel. I agree, the dating scene nowadays is just crazy
I think there’s a lot more to it. Most women find about 80% of men unattractive. So if you as a female delved into that 80% you’d find a lot of single men. But women won’t. They tend to see all men based on the 20% as far as what men are like, that a lot of us can’t commit or that we cheat. I think for women though there’s pretty much a man alive that would take every girl walking this planet if she just gave those bottom 80% of men a chance.
I beg to differ. My exes were considered to be average or below average even but they all still had another girl on the down low… no hate to them though, good for them
Ok this is anecdotal. Doesn’t mean all men are like that just cause it happened to you. It’s amazing how women like to speak for men like we don’t know these things for ourselves. Maybe you just enter a good enough person, wide material that’s why they all did that to you.
I could say the same thing about you, most women don’t only go after the 20% of men. Where I live most women actually go for the less attractive guys because they treat their women well.
My “below average” ex actually proposed to me until I found out he was cheating so I declined, we talked it out and he said it was because he was insecure. We’re on good terms still, and I’m now happily engaged to a great man. I was just giving an example to counter your assumption that women only go after the top 20%. No harm no foul, every man have something that they can offer (looks, personality, respect, etc) that can make then the top 20% in the right woman’s eyes.
I there is 9 to 1 male to female ratio on Tinder. Majority of those guys pretend to be single to score. Dating apps is trash when you are looking for a relationship. Regarding women someone said they are never single. They always keep several male friends around, even if they are not quality ones, to have some attention. You tell me if it's true:)
I think it’s true for some women, it does happen a lot but I can assure you that not all ladies are like that. Dating apps though are definitely more of a hook up app nowadays huh
No idea but personally I'm single like a Pringles so it's definitely possible to find real single people XD
But even Pringles are all grouped up together in the can lol
I get you, I’m just playing 😆
Right! I don't know where the original saying came from because obviously Pringles aren’t single, they’re all cuddling inside the can lol
It does rhyme and rolls out of the tongue nicely, but anyway, thanks so much for sharing your input. I hope you have a great week ahead xx
Hell yeah!!! Everyone has an friends with benefits, and ex they talk to, a person they keep touch with that they had sex w. Especially at our ages
Yes… it’s sad really
I don't know many single people these days. Everyone I know is either married or planning on getting married very soon.
Same here. It’s mostly what I see in the younger generations, my younger siblings who are gen Z are struggling
Situation-ship is just people who are afraid to "put a label on something", yet at the same time, they're still labeling it
Gotta love hypocrisy, right?
That’s really true, ironic huh
Most of the single women i meet are just single.
That’s great!
It would be if any were a good match for me.
Unfortunately this is not the case.
Every perfect match has been either already taken, or is outside the US.
Logically it's 50/50 per person you meet.
So meet more people the more likely you find singles.
I think back in the days it wasn’t always like this, I’m glad I no longer have to deal with modern dating
No. I do however find that those who claim to be divorced change their story often to, “only separated” after a few dates. Nutty part is how many have never filed and have existing as ‘separated’ often for multiple years. If dating someone who is divorced, one of my first questions becomes, “when was your divorce finalized?”
No. I just don't think people really seek out the people who are truly single. They'd rather have the drama of the other.
I think because a lot of people aren’t truly single themselves, also trust issues are becoming an endemic so I can see why people have a hard time opening up or committing
Yeah, you didn't get a thing I just said.😆
I’ve noticed this too.. it’s like the old saying goes, “you want your cake and eat it too”.
I would say yes. Moreso with women than men but, overall, yes.
Cause some think it's ok to have a side piece.
Yeah it’s becoming so normalized…
What happened to just good old loyalty huh 😔
"single but casually dating/talking with multiple people"
Seems like a logical way to find someone more efficiently
m I'm truly single...
A rarity these days
are you single?
I’m happily engaged luckily
congratz!
Thank you so much!
Well, I'm single, and I can't find any girl who would like me, even if she is single.
I guess that's because I'm not handsome and/or rich.
Well, I'm truly damn single. The only girl I loved was in school (8th), which is 19 years ago.
Probably i think its difficult to find genuine people
It's because you waited to long to find someone. Dating pool gets worse as you age. The good ones get taken then you get the leftovers
Yes
Especially over 30s
People are on getting apps
Just stop looking lol
Most people under the age 25 are single.
That's all depends on some factors
Such as?
Oh I've got baggage 👿 😈 👿 😈 🛄 🛅
at our age everyone is married
Surprisingly a lot of my friends are still single. It’s a weird time when we get together 50% are married with kids while the other 50% are single
Yes. Totally agree 💯
I am absolutely single.
it's because you're old and past the use by date
Luckily I’m still of good use to my fiance
marrying a 30 something? yeah he sounds like real winner lol
I’m actually not 30 yet but of course he’s a winner, so am I. We’re both happy and content, he gets all the head and sex he wants with me and I work really hard to stay fit because we’re both into body building - so I can say that I look better than a lot of my peers in their 20s.
ah hell, good for you lady!
And I wish all the best for you, thanks for sharing your opinion!
You are right
True and a virgin
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