What is the top reason women choose not to be attracted to a man?

[coachTanthony]

Broke or don't make enough money

short under 6 feet

introvert or shy and not sociable

small D or bad in bed

see poll ( smile life is too short to be unhappy )

[ShadezMcgee]

I voted for voice C here, regarding introvertedness and shyness. Women like men who are outgoing and confident, and with introverts being more reserved and lively in smaller groups or alone is something that tends to bore women. It comes off as insecure and boring and lacking social skills. These individuals tend to be invisible because of that.

Women despise boredom and will often overlook introverts because they aren't talkative enough to get their attention or hold it as easily. When women get bored (doesn't take much) they go after the thing that keeps them satiated and constantly stimulated. Hence extroverts, even if they may be shitbags, get mote success with women.

Ever wonder why on dating apps you see women say "don't be boring"? It's because they aren't getting the stimulation they personally need to remain engaged or want to see where things go.

Now obviously every woman is different, but that would be my guess. Women have gone after dudes who were broke and not taller than six feet because they had the personality and social skills to seduce them or catch their attention.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't think women "choose" to be attracted or not attracted. But women do choose to not pursue a relationship - regardless of attraction - based on a guy's apparent confidence or lack of confidence.

[coachTanthony]

That’s exactly right

[melanieeeB]

Totally agreed🙏🏼

[DizzyDesii]

I was going to list some reasons but I’ll stick to the script. Out of the poll choices, I’d choose “not socialble” but I’ll reword it as if he can’t hold a conversation. (The other poll choices don’t bother me and/or can be an easy fix). I love a good listener but he needs to be a talker as well. And he has to have an appealing voice to want to listen to. There are some dudes who hold great conversations and they look great but the sound/tone of their voices annoy me almost as much as gilbert gottfried. Thats bothersome! It could be that they talk to fast, too slow, unfortunately stutter/stumble a lot, sound feminine or cocky, or have too deep of a voice. I’m not bothered by introverts or shy people because I’m more of that myself than not. But if they aren't a good captivating talker when its just the two of us, done deal.

[DizzyDesii]

*not sociable

[DizzyDesii]

Why is everyone saying attraction is NOT a choice? lol. Desire is not a choice, but I think attraction can grow if you CHOOSE to give it a chance. However, initial attraction/first impressions are often the deciding factor and if I’m not physically interested when meeting them off the bat, then I’m not really trying to get to know their personality (unless it was on here for example and personality came before looks/pics)

[Lalalove11]

If we aren't on the same wave length in the majority of our opinions it's going to be really hard. I have to have that ''click''. No matter how attractive rich or smart he is. You know when the click is there or it isn't? When conversation either flows or feels stifled? In other words, need to feel comfortable in each others presence and bring the best out of each other. The last guy I dated made me feel hyper aware of myself and everything I said, I always felt he was scrutinising me and disagreeing with me in his head. The conversation was very stifled and awkward, yet there was sexual chemistry. Beyond that, not much else.

[Lionman95]

I think it´s none of the above since I know quite a number of guys that are other under 6 feet but taken. The biggest issue I think is if a guy doesn´t seem to have an equivalent sense of style or if he has a bad hygiene.

I think the second biggest is if he´s socially awkward or too introverted to ask her out. But I don´t think that small dick or else plays a role in that since women know way earlier if they are attracted to a guy or not. They don´t need to know if he has a small dick.

[Anonymous]

I don't think women like the way you worded this one coach.

Really it all hinges on her insecurity.

Some women look at a guy with money as a guy who can buy them anything and that's attractive

Some women look at a guy who's over 6 feet as having some kind of Some primal ability to protect them (which always makes me laugh because I'm 6'5" and and soft like cookie dough. And in a modern sense a gun equalizes everything anyhow. So, a taller guy is irrelevant).

A guy who's "introverted" is up for debate people are mixed bags typically not one or the other. When women say they're attracted to a person who's more extroverted what invariably they mean is they like a guy who is full of s*** but is convincing 😆😆😆

And a guy with a big d*** the only thing I can glean from that is probably wants a guy that's comparable to her dad that routinely sexually molested her. Because In her twisted mind that was love.

[coachTanthony]

They don't like the way it's worded or they are using the way it's worded to not really answer the question. Either way can't change it now.

[Opinion Owner]

😆😆😆 yup true true.

[SaoirseS]

I don’t think it’s a matter of choice, one is either attracted to someone or one isn’t.

[coachTanthony]

Women can be attracted to any man but find out they are broke or are under 6 feet and then choose not to be attracted.

[SaoirseS]

Now you’re just trolling lol.

[coachTanthony]

So if you are attracted to a man and find out he is a serial killer I am pretty sure you will lose attraction pretty quickly? And if not why not?

[SaoirseS]

Trolling confirmed.

[coachTanthony]

Thanks for the comments

[SaoirseS]

Anytime

[Anonymous]

Most men have no idea how much power they have and that to a great extent, they choose whether women are attracted to them. You could send two completely identical men on a date with the same woman. One guy given one script would end the date with the woman feeling a spark and attraction for him, and you could have the other identical guy following a different script with the opposite outcome and I could tell you exactly which one will get what outcome. This is because men have a lot of control over how much women find them attractive. But desperation, scarcity mindset and pedestalization of females, devaluing sex and under valuing of self is what mostly kills the potential.

But in answer to the main question I'd say it was simping.

[thatshydork]

It’s not a choice they make, but if it was, it’d be because y’all ask us questions like this.

Most women don’t give two shits about these things. I’m in college so I know plenty of people who don’t have a lot of money but they still make it work. I know a lot of short guys, but they’re all taken. Maybe instead of asking us these questions, look at how you’re treating them and ask yourself if you’d want your daughter or sister or mother or girl best friend to be treated that way. If you’re treating them the way you’d want your daughter to be treated and she’s still not interested, then move on.

[genericname85]

you mixing some things that are immediately obvious on first sight and things you only find out later down the line makes answering this difficult. being over 6 feet is the most strong attracion factor on first sight. so i would say by implication that means being short is the largest first sight discouragement.

after that i would say broke/not sociable are equally bad but that's often not immediately obvious. just like small dick, which most women are willing to look past at first casue they don't want to accept that it matters. but it does matter and they will break up later for sexual frustration reasons. i don't believe in all this "but you can make it work" nonsense. no you can't.

[coachTanthony]

yep could of worded it better but it is what it is now.

[genericname85]

what's your view considering the anser to your own question?

[coachTanthony]

Well it's up to the women to decide in their heart of hearts but then there is also the perspective of men so if it were me being an online dating coach it would have to be height. So many profiles I've seen where the woman states they want this or that a laundry list of attributes if you will... and at the end say but swipe left if you aren't over 6 feet is astonishing. Because even the 6 foot guy will be like wait you want all these qualities or you want someone tall? Which is it lol

[genericname85]

i'm a firm believer of facts don't care about feelings and that individual variance doesn't invalidate the concept of the most commonly correct answers to these cases. hight in men is the biggest (no pun itended) visual and measurable attraction marker for women. just like big tits is for men. we can all hide behind politically correct language to delude ourselves from the reality :D but things are as they are. always good to see that you're a based guy :)

of course women want all sorts of different qualities but these aren't immediately visible and women are quite superficial even though of course they hate coming to terms with that fact so they just call everyone who says it out loud a misogynistic prick xD

[genericname85]

men are of course also superficial but they're more likely to just admit that.

[coachTanthony]

They don't realize the actual numbers of tall men in the world. I think if they knew they would be shocked. And shocked to know they have a 000000000.1 percent chance of finding a tall man with all the qualities they want. But they need to live and learn I guess.

[genericname85]

sure but same with male preferences in women. the sort of breast size that the average man would most prefer is probably equally unlikely to actually find in women.

[coachTanthony]

I think it's apple and oranges dudes. More women care about height then men care about big tits. It's not even close.

[genericname85]

yeah i think that breast size by itself is not such a strong marker as male tallness. it's more of a compound of different things and less just one thing. and if i just went from my own personal experience, i would also say it's bullshit. but look at the most popular pornstars. tits seem to matter a lot to many dudes. i just checked the top 20. there's just 2 average size girls and 2 small size one. the rest of the 20 are all silicone bombers/big breasted women.

[coachTanthony]

I think men are sexually attracted to big boobs and prefer them no doubt. Women are attracted to the status of having a tall man, height itself doesn't make them wet.

[genericname85]

yeah. it's weird. i saw a study where they checked for all the markers of attractiveness and they found that even if you take every single known marker and make that a negative one. as long as the guy is still tall, they still prefer him. even if compared to a guy who has all the attractiveness markers except size.

[coachTanthony]

Yep it's crazy how they think. They rather look good in a photo then have a good husband.

[coachTanthony]

Men can be worse but today It’s about women lol

[genericname85]

i think it's pretty damn equal. anyway. good talk :) cheers.

[coachTanthony]

For sure. Have a good one.

[IveGotNoName]

I don't choose who I find attractive. No one does. Yes, a person can be physically attracted initially and then lose it when they find out about a certain trait, but that isn't a choice.

Having said that if the question were to be "what is the top reason a woman loses attraction to a man?" I don't think any of those are even near the top reasons. The top reasons would probably be something like

1) Bad personality (e. g. arrogant, cocky, aggressive).

2) Lack of physical attraction (can be anything which that specific woman doesn't find attractive personally).

3) Lack of affection (if he is cold/absent emotionally).

4) Asking misogynistic leading questions (you might be able to figure this one out for yourself).

[Anonymous]

None of them would make me choose not to be attracted.

However, I’ll tell you what attracts me:

A sense of humour!

I am such a drama queen, I love to have someone who can make me laugh and laugh at or with me when I am being overly dramatic.

[Gibbons44]

Choose? I don't think they choose. Most are a bunch of (often miswired and incoherent/self-destructive) reflexes. Plus quite a number either practice or approve of prostitution.

There isn't much point in trying to be liked by them. You do you best looks and health and sanity wise - none of that is worth losing to gain approval of any specific female - the same way that males basically never withold approval, females do it, with a very specific goal to psychologically injure you (e. g. because their mom might be a prostitute - somewhere where that is a crime - and you spoke against that, and she doesn't want her mommy to go to jail).

We keep assuming females are neither criminals nor (often) victims of miscarriage of justice/of unjust court judgements.

[mattclark242]

girl do not like hot guys cause hot guys are with lot of other girls. so get a less hot guy and he stay home more. I don't know I may that up. women like men that have value what a women value is anyone guss. some women want money cause that are poor some women want 2 guy so they feel value and that also may want cheat. some small girl just like a big guy that can pick them up cause they think that cute right I don't know. women want to feel good and be with some that make them feel good. men want that to they just do it in a diffent way I guss.

[emmaa1]

attraction could be just there, the other things could factor in maintaining the interest or losing itt

[coachTanthony]

yes hence the list above.

[emmaa1]

well height for me, but let me tell you none of those could be a real dealbreakerr

[loveslongnails]

I don't believe the initial reaction IS a choice, coach. The choices and decisions about how much she wants to get involved come after she feels the chemistry/physical attraction. For example, a very handsome, hot looking, well built guy "shyly" approaches a good looking woman at a bar and says " I'm really embarrassed about this, but I'm here alone and forgot my wallet at work (implying he has a job), and I was hoping you might buy me a drink and have a chat with me, and hopefully I'll get to buy you one next time!". If she thinks "Damn, he's hot", he's getting a drink! She's not going to think " broke dude, bullshit pick up line!"

[RolandCuthbert]

It is not that hard to see that a lack of social skills will never attract women. It kind of reminds me of the movie "Roxanne". Roxanne likes the way guy looks and simply projects onto him all the social skills she would want to have in a guy.

Then has sex with him without him even opening his mouth.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_PZ_LyJfYe8

[Pegases]

Women don't choose, they're either attracted, or they aren't. Just like we dont choose as men what women we find attractive. We can choose what we do with that attraction, but we can't control what we are attracted to in the moment per say. Your question would garner better results if you asked, "what qualities are women least attracted to on average."

[Red-Blaze]

An asshole not matter the size, and what tag of deginer it wears
An ass is not someone you can talk to, and not someone for life, they may look nice for a while but sooner or later the smell will come out, with the brown

And that be the top reason I say
And none of the reason to vote there beside if there on top of a single woman list of needs

[melanieeeB]

Cause we are not attracted lol attraction is either there or not

[Varanus]

You missed all the real reasons.

Creepy vibe. Misogyny. Poor social skills (introvert or extrovert). Reeking of desperation. Bad hygiene.

[coachTanthony]

I just listed the most popular ones lol

[DizzyDesii]

I think you listed what a lot of men are insecure about. I dont think you listed what a lot of us women actually find unattractive. But i tried to answer the question regardless

[Exterminatore]

Probably the first an main reason is a lack of physical attraction. A guy maybe the smartest, strongest, wealthiest, kindest guy in the world but if the girl does not intended to use him for some reason, that is to say if her motives are pure, all of that counts for nothing if she doesn’t find him attractive.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Attitude. A dude can be ugly but still manage to get a decent looking woman to like him if his attitude is decent.

If your attitude stinks in particular in the initial stage of meeting or a woman seeing your nasty attitude then you won't stand a chance from the jump.

[catiecatie]

There can be multiple reasons. Some women it can be height, and others money. Mine I look at personality and looks. I also look for similar interests and a good conversation starter as well as can be goofy.