Men, When does it become pathetic or desperate when contacting someone you just started to date?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been dating an old friend. He reached out randomly. I reach out randomly. But I think I’m more honest and forward. So I’ll tell him that he crossed my mind and I’ll ask about his day.
Recently, I had nothing to really say but I literally just wanted to be in contact. I wanted to reach out and basically just say “have a good day” but a friend (woman) says it looks very desperate and to delete his number. And she told me not to reach out until he does. So for all the men, is there anything that turns you off about a woman when dating? Like, is there something that would make you think she’s desperate by how she texts or calls?

[Anonymous]

I never consider a woman desperate typically. Women and men have different standards. Women are allowed to wear thier heart on thier sleeve more than guys and get judged massively less by it. I'll message a woman twice. Because it's OK to assume she just missed the first one. If she doesn't respond to the second, I'm done. It's called "self respect". I want her in my life, I don't NEED her in my life.

Side note: I don't know your girlfriend. But consider her relationship status. Is it better than yours? If not, DON'T LISTEN TO HER! Friends typically wish success for you. Just not more success the them. This is ESPECIALLY TRUE of women when it comes to relationships.

[elew4too]

Volume and frequency of communication create a perception of desperation. The more of my time you try to demand of me (by reading your texts, being on the phone with you, etc.), the more I think that you a.) have nothing better to do, b.) are really desperate to get some commitment from me, or c.) both. That being said, your friend is over-exaggerating. One, sentence-long text will not give any sense of desperation. If anything, I'd be worried that she wasn't interested given the brevity and sparse frequency of communication.

[melanieeeB]

Noo reaching out and just asking about his day is totally okay and not desperate.
Your friend is playing games and gave you an advice according to that.

I personally see being desperate as when you text him constantly, with multiple texts back to back and not giving air to breath basically. But just texting "hey, how you doing? I have been thinking about you and just wanted to check in on you" is a normal text in my eyes... I mean you're basically just asking how he is doing and not to marry you right away lol

[Asker]

Lol. True. I like that. Soooo because of your answer, I’m going to text him. 😂 And I’m going to say exactly what you just typed.

[melanieeeB]

Okaay haha 🙏🏼 hope it goes all good for you two in the long run

[Guy13]

You know each other already then he's already aware that you are freak. Don't lie to him and act like you have changed a bit. He knows what to expect...

[Jamie05rhs]

What do you mean, you've been dating him? If you guys aren't even in regular communication with one another, then I don't think you're dating. No offense.
Did you mean that you went out a few times together?
Did he know that those were "dates"?
Does he even know that you like him?

A lot of questions to be answered here.

[kramchancel]

Dont listen to your friend. Now im not sayin that you texting him everyday every hour is going to look good but girls please stop with this bullshit games.

[spartan55]

No, but doing what your friend suggested would be a good way to piss me off... STUPID idea.

[Adam1978]

When they haven't replied yet.

[PatriceONeal]

You are mid 30s. You're already desperate