Would you date me based on my sexual encounters?

[Anonymous]

So my total body count is 11 and I'm 26:
- lost my vcard at 18
- (19 years old) about 11 months later no2 and two months after no3
- (20 years old) 7 months later no4, 7 months later no5
- (21 years old) 2 months later No6, 2 months later no7, no8 (same week), two weeks later no9, two weeks later no10 (went out for two weeks), two weeks later no11
- (22-26) been out with no one.

I've been a bit nervous over it, but then again I remember all my friends at the time who had a different guy every weekend sometimes even 3/4 different guys in the same week, so that makes me feel better about myself.

Yes

Maybe if she/he changed

No

Other - please specify

Updates

+1 y

All of these are one night stands so was single the whole time and two were short term flings.

[Lliam]

I wouldn't hesitate. The relationships and even adventures a woman engaged in when she was learning about life don't bother me. It's matter of what she has learned and what kind of person she has become.

I admire heterosexual women with libidos who pursue life with gusto, but are also honest, sincere, have self esteem, healthy values, hope and dreams. You know, normal girls.

It's healthy to seek boyfriends and to give 100% to relationships. It's how we seek our true life partner. But we can make mistakes along the way. That's life. But we don't give up.

I see nothing wrong with experimenting with sex and learning about sexuality. I think it's healthy.

My first girlfriend was 14 when I was 16. None of my girlfriends were virgins when we met. And, honestly, I never asked about their body count or their past. None ever asked about mine, either. It wasn't a secret. We mentioned previous partners from time to time in passing. But we weren't interested in a detailed record.

[Asker]

I was hoping you'd see the question and answer it, I definitely wished a few of those didn't happen and the fact they're all ons rather than relationships hinders me a lot too. But I did learn quite a bit from many of them and I know what to look for in a guy and how I want to be treated, along with the reaction from the guy and how he reciprocates

[Lliam]

Sex is way better when you and your partner are infatuated, adore and care for each other, and spend hours playing and learning about each other.

But at least you "learn[ed] quite a bit from many of them and I know what to look for in a guy and how I want to be treated, along with the reaction from the guy and how he reciprocates". Those are valuable lessons that can't be learned any other way.

You also got some sexual experience and learned about your body. I hope you experienced some bliss in the process.

Sex is like any other sensory experience. Why should someone deny themselves peak experiences like delicious food, music, amazing sights, or physical pleasures? If we we're not supposed to enjoy sex, why does it have the potential to be so amazing?

At the end of life, people are grateful for their memories and for all the lessons they learned. That's what we're here for. Few are glad that they didn't live life to the fullest.

Don't regret your forays into womanhood. Anyone who judges you for that isn't worth worrying about. They're no fun and aren't a good match.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO. :-)

[MementoMori777]

No you are seeking for lust not love and that's not my cup of tea

[Asker]

It's been over five years now since I've been with anyone - even a kiss, does that change anything for you?

[MementoMori777]

Not trying to be rude or mean or want this to come off wrong but at this point I feel like the harm is done, let's also mention that knowing this type of past would basically make anyone question your loyalty as well, it makes you look easy, makes it look like you'll slip up quick if an opportunity creeped up on you and personally I wouldn't want to involve myself into a commitment I don't fully trust, you had many affairs and that effects how people will see you, I try to warn some girls about this at times and they didn't pay too much attention to my advice, I did what I could I guess

[Asker]

No I get it your right, I definitely was easy for pretty much all of those. I simply went with the flow, everyone else was doing it so wanted to join in, at uni all my roommates were going at it like rabbits and I figured going roughly 4 months between partners was a healthy ideal.

[MementoMori777]

Personally I think if you didn't have the urge to want to fit in then maybe you'd have less bodies on you, either ways the best advice I can give is to change for the better if you haven't already, you can still find someone but it will just be harder when they realize your past, all you need tho is for them to give you a chance tho and there's plenty of people that give chances, you can't change the past but you can choose an outcome for your future and that's by the decisions you make, and you have to learn to read people better, you wasted your time with these people that clearly only wanted to use you, it's been 5 years so at least you have that gap between where you can choose to make better decisions and be a better version of yourself, cause you might be attractive and whatnot but that goes away with age, and when your attractiveness fades so do the opportunities of sexual intercourse, love can last until death and beyond and it will bring you actual happiness as well.

[Paul_in_Indy]

So, you’ve only had sex about a dozen times? I’m sorry about that. I’d take you someplace for a week to make up for lost time. :)

[Asker]

It's a whopping grand total of 17 times, with more than half of them ending in me either in pain or seriously disappointed. I said I liked it a little rough and liked a bit of pain so one guy actually bit my vulva, I couldn't walk probably for a week from all the pain he caused. Was not fun whatsoever

[Paul_in_Indy]

Oof! I’m sorry. :(

[Lionman95]

I wouldn´t date any woman just based on her sexual history because that doesn´t say much about if I get along with her or not.

So I´d say maybe but I would base the decision on the other aspects.

[SnowedIn]

Your past is your past.

If you're clean and of legal age, I don't want to know about your past.

I'm going to date a person based on a bunch of different things but not her sexual past.

[HighValue]

No. It shows that you have bad morals and don't value sex as part of a special bond with someone. You have already been with too many people to form a truly strong emotional connection for long term. Too damaged.

[WeaponX1986]

Guys do this even when they're in a committed relationship. I think as long as you don't cheat on them and both parties know it's casual. Then it's all good. As long as you used protection. Personally I wouldn't just because of the age gap. I understand I said yes to the question but that's my honest opinion even though it doesn't apply to me.

[DaySpring]

Yeah I'd date her. I wouldn't like hearing that though but I'd like to know. But she would have to be very different than how she use to be and im not talking about the sex.

[prensesmishka]

Then what are you talking about?

[Berethor]

It's too slutty in my book, so no, and if it was one night stands it only makes it worse.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest keeping your past to yourself, since most guys would definitely have a problem with that. Can't really blame them tbh.

[AydenHazor]

Your post sexual encounters don't matter to me, as long as I know you're not coming into the relationship with an sti

[PatriceONeal]

If only we could just believe women based on their word. Sadly, that ship has sailed a long long time ago.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't date anyone based on their sexual encounters.

[MessofConfuzzled]

I am not really sure what is defined as normal for body count

[gorydetails]

Seems like you hoed it up quite a bit.

[Asker]

I didn't want to drink and/or do drugs so figured having a few ons a healthier alternative. I felt so empty at that time that all I wanted was to be held, and to be held I had to have sex first. That guy no10 actually rejected my offer of sex initially and that shocked me cause at the time I thought that was all I had to offer. He changed my perspective of myself and pretty much ever since I've been trying to find a guy who's better than him (he was a druggie and has been in prison for years).

[gorydetails]

So have you learned that hookup culture is detrimental to your soul?

[Asker]

Nope I just learned that people who pretend to be your friends and treat you like shit unless you act a certain way shouldn't be in your life. If we went out and I didn't have sex (which happened a lot) I'd get heckled and get told nothing fun ever happens. I simply stopped being myself and let myself become a puppet for their amusement, I'm pretty sure they wanted to see how much they can push me and break me. I even lost about £400 odd because of them from theft. I changed how I dressed, what I watched, what I listened to, to try and be their friend. The second I started to be myself I got told I'm over reacting and why would anyone be friends with you. Being with these guys, often gave me hope and a lifeline, that maybe I can be liked. When I told them I was moving out we had a massive argument for a week about how stupid and irresponsible I was.

[LazerBean]

I certainly wouldn't date someone like that.

[William2198]

Yeah because you're shallow.

[LazerBean]

Wanting a spouse who isn't damaged and has demonstrated that they have self control is the opposite of shallow.

[Chthou95]

Fuck no. Next

[Anonymous]

I would not date you if I knew your past.

[Anonymous]

yeah you're a whackjob

[Anonymous]

Eeewwww. Ho3.

[jjj101010]

Yeah it doesn’t seem that bad to me

[Anonymous]

Nope

[iamasassyguy]

Can we DM?