Am I allowed to tell him who he can or can't talk to?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend was friends with this girl who I don't like. I knew her for a long time and she's really mean to me and sabotaged a few things for me. My boyfriend knew her before me and stopped being friends with her for awhile after meeting me but after a few weeks became friends with her again after I told him not to talk to her. I've always felt he might have liked her but he says he doesn't feel that way about her. They talked and hung out one on one and my boyfriend tells me everything they do. If he talks to her one day he tells me the same day. if they go out and do something, he tells me same day. I got mad at my boyfriend at first and he came to conclusion that im jealous of her. Each time my boyfriend told me stories about what they did or him speaking to her I had to put on a front and not get mad to avoid getting called jealous. I've began overthinking and just broke up with him because of it.

Updates

1 y

im just asking for future reference

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Here's the way I see it...
You don't own him, so you can't tell him what he can and can't do, BUT you also don't have to be in a relationship with him if he doesn't respect your boundaries.
So he can either stop talking to this girl, or go be in a relationship with someone else, because those are your ground rules if he wants to be with you.
It's his choice

It's not controlling, it's having respect for yourself and expecting him to do the same.
Of course, he can place the same set of rules on you. It goes both ways.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are allowed to tell him who he can't talk to, and he is allowed to tell you to go fuck yourself. In general, trying to control a partner in a relationship NEVER works. If you don't like something your partner is doing, have a discussion and explain your feelings. If he decides to change his behavior, great! If he decides to keep doing whatever it is. . . then either accept it or break up.

[Mansearching]

Hard to say. My girlfriend doesn't like one of my friends. She doesn't like her at all. But my girlfriend respects our friendship. They don't talk to each other at all. My girlfriend has never told me not to talk to my friend.

Unless that girl has tried anything with your boyfriend, you just have to bite your tongue. Be civil with her. Being civil doesn't mean that you like her. It just means you put yourself in a hire place or being the better person.

[SnowedIn]

Nope.

Think about it: do you want to be told who you can and cannot talk to? Just because he doesn't like them?

No.

[DarkLegacy]

No that is controlling behaviour.