Since you don't bring enough to the table for the men you are attracted to, you should keep your standards and remain single. You are already past your prime anyway, so guys you rejected 5 to 10 years ago, no longer want you. Therefore, you prospects are only going to get worse but you will not be satisfied with any guy that doesn't meet your standard and making do with less than what makes you happy is never good.
Depends. Maybe you overestimate yourself (in terms of hypergamy ) or you're playing in league where equal men have to many options from hypergamous behavior from below. In my experience, dating down make no sense. Men are vain either and some point they start to think your class surplus doesn't matter anymore and take you for granted. Then go completely psychotic if you go away and you don't lift their egos anymre. It's difficult to keep up balance in such relationships.
It entirely depends on your own values. You can technically be in a relationship without being attracted to your partner as there are more than one ways to have a functional and healthy relationship, but regardless it is important to be honest with yourself about what you really want.
Personally speaking, being single has always been better for me than being in a relationship that I feel miserable in. And most women feel that way too.
Bad idea. Don’t ever give up your standards. You’ll never truly be happy
Example: If I give up my standard of never ever givinh sexist men a chance, I’ll mostly be dealing with men who believe women are to submit to men, not work, stay home and serve them, keep quiet, agree to everything they demand even when they’re wrong, etc
You’re standards might be too high but then again you might be looking in the wrong place. There’s a movie called The Cutting Edge, in it there’s a line that might help you. They can’t find the right skater and so the train says we’ve reached the bottom of the barrel and the dad replies “then find a different barrel.”
I feel you, I have a bit of the same problem. Where I live there are very few men around my age, and those who are are either physically unattractive to me, or extremely immature. Often both. I don't think you should lower your standards, though maybe you should examine them and rethink how many of them are actually important to you?
You can't simultaneously date men your age and mature men. Try older or accept immature. Or wait until you're 35. Those are basically your only options any girl has to choose from. Not just you.
@bamesjond0069 Guess I'm another lifelong single then. But there's a difference between not being fully mature, which I can accept, and being immature to the point of not being able to hold a relationship. Strangely, actually, the most mature young men I've met are actually fourteen/fifteen years old, so I really think it depends on the individual and not the entire male sex as a whole.
You should only go for people that are at your own level.
What do you want in a guy?
What do YOU offer/bring to a relationship?
Does what you bring to a relationship even come close to what you expect from a potential partner? (MOST women don't bring nearly as much to a relationship as the man does, that's why they would hate/refuse to make an actual list comparison to their potential/current mate.)
I agree but also disagree with this. I have a friend who looks like a model and is a sweet/loving person. She has the same problem as OP. The guys on her looks level (and I'm being objective here), have LOADS of options and that is her problem. They are the super good looking guys, who have tons of pretty girls vying for their attention. Girls just as pretty as she is.
So I don't think it's a matter of not being at the same level, it's the fact that hot guys can be super picky so you might have to forget these guys altogether.
So if he's attractive, then it's flirting with you.
If he's unattractive, it's hitting on you and he's a huge loser. You might want to check your ego there, squirt.
Yes, these attractive guys don't want you because you're a huge loser too. If the "ugly losers" knew what kind of a person you are, I'm sure they'd want nothing to do with you as well.
It depends on what your standards are. If the standards that are not being satisfied have to do with being honest, loyal, and caring then keep the standards and broaden your search. If the standards are something like “over six feet tall, six figure income or potential for it, and doesn’t deserve me at my best if he can’t handle me at my worst,” then unless you’re a 10 you need to lower your standards or invest in cat food.
Sounds like the issue is that you're more interested in a fantasy than a relationship. You might not need to lower your standards at all, just make sure you aren't daydreaming.
I'm gonna be totally real with you, speaking as a high value man; most women don't have the game or confidence to pull the kind of men they want.
"LOWER YOUR STANDARD FOR DATING, BUT KEEP YOUR STANDARD TO COMMITTMENT JUST THE SAME."
Dating standards being low increases the pool, and commitment standards high will ensure you get same level of results
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
1 y
you got this all wrong. you date someone because you LIKE them. not date someone just to date someone to not be alone... yikes. i think it's worth it to wait until you find someone you actually like so you're not stringing along the other person... and if they found out "i only dated you because i didn't want to stay single forever. that's all" think of how shitty they'll feel...
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
1 y
Now you do not say why you find that those men are 'losers'.. Maybe your friends tell you to give them a chance because they do not think your definition of a loser is that valid. Maybe it really is or your perception of them could change if you get to know them for real.
Maybe you should do this exercise, Make a list of what criteria a man must meet and what percentage of men meet that standard. for instance he must be what you consider tall 10% of men, financially stable 10% handsome 15% of men
10% is 1 in 10 men
10% of 10% is 1 in 100
10% of 10% of 15% is 1.5 men in every thousand
then look at the competition, Like are other women look for the same sort of man, Are you a 1 in a 1000 women etc.
No, wait for the wait one. There isn't ever any rush. Things happen in life when they are supposed to happen, relationships cause more heartache and drama then they do romeo and Julie sadly in reality. Good luck, though I wish you all the best but don't lower you're standards for anyone! 🙂.
Kindness, respect, love, are challenging to find. A Healthy and fit physique, can almost always be obtained. As you age, looks will fade, but love can endure.
You're still pretty young. PRAY TO GOD for help finding the right man. Trust me, God hs a sense of humor for some people. You get the answer at the last conceivable moment when your last shred of faith is about spent.
Don't settle.. maybe work on yourself to be the best you want to be and make sure your confidence is high... guys love confidence just like girls do. And hopefully you are not a douche bag and these guys you don't like are actually losers lol
Don't give up your standards. Reevaluate them accordingly. Relationships are about compromise and communication. So start with yourself. Don't miss out on love cuz a guy 5'10 and not 5'11 lol
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
72Opinion
Since you don't bring enough to the table for the men you are attracted to, you should keep your standards and remain single. You are already past your prime anyway, so guys you rejected 5 to 10 years ago, no longer want you. Therefore, you prospects are only going to get worse but you will not be satisfied with any guy that doesn't meet your standard and making do with less than what makes you happy is never good.
You in your late 30s, you running out of time, attractive guys are likely out of your league.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Christmas%20Cake
I mean late 20s.
Depends. Maybe you overestimate yourself (in terms of hypergamy ) or you're playing in league where equal men have to many options from hypergamous behavior from below.
In my experience, dating down make no sense. Men are vain either and some point they start to think your class surplus doesn't matter anymore and take you for granted. Then go completely psychotic if you go away and you don't lift their egos anymre. It's difficult to keep up balance in such relationships.
It entirely depends on your own values. You can technically be in a relationship without being attracted to your partner as there are more than one ways to have a functional and healthy relationship, but regardless it is important to be honest with yourself about what you really want.
Personally speaking, being single has always been better for me than being in a relationship that I feel miserable in. And most women feel that way too.
Bad idea. Don’t ever give up your standards. You’ll never truly be happy
Example: If I give up my standard of never ever givinh sexist men a chance, I’ll mostly be dealing with men who believe women are to submit to men, not work, stay home and serve them, keep quiet, agree to everything they demand even when they’re wrong, etc
I would be miserable
You’re standards might be too high but then again you might be looking in the wrong place. There’s a movie called The Cutting Edge, in it there’s a line that might help you. They can’t find the right skater and so the train says we’ve reached the bottom of the barrel and the dad replies “then find a different barrel.”
I feel you, I have a bit of the same problem. Where I live there are very few men around my age, and those who are are either physically unattractive to me, or extremely immature. Often both. I don't think you should lower your standards, though maybe you should examine them and rethink how many of them are actually important to you?
You can't simultaneously date men your age and mature men. Try older or accept immature. Or wait until you're 35. Those are basically your only options any girl has to choose from. Not just you.
@bamesjond0069 Guess I'm another lifelong single then. But there's a difference between not being fully mature, which I can accept, and being immature to the point of not being able to hold a relationship. Strangely, actually, the most mature young men I've met are actually fourteen/fifteen years old, so I really think it depends on the individual and not the entire male sex as a whole.
You should only go for people that are at your own level.
What do you want in a guy?
What do YOU offer/bring to a relationship?
Does what you bring to a relationship even come close to what you expect from a potential partner? (MOST women don't bring nearly as much to a relationship as the man does, that's why they would hate/refuse to make an actual list comparison to their potential/current mate.)
I agree but also disagree with this. I have a friend who looks like a model and is a sweet/loving person. She has the same problem as OP. The guys on her looks level (and I'm being objective here), have LOADS of options and that is her problem. They are the super good looking guys, who have tons of pretty girls vying for their attention. Girls just as pretty as she is.
So I don't think it's a matter of not being at the same level, it's the fact that hot guys can be super picky so you might have to forget these guys altogether.
@Guccigabbana18 Exactly. There's nothing gender specific about what people want in a partner.
So if he's attractive, then it's flirting with you.
If he's unattractive, it's hitting on you and he's a huge loser. You might want to check your ego there, squirt.
Yes, these attractive guys don't want you because you're a huge loser too. If the "ugly losers" knew what kind of a person you are, I'm sure they'd want nothing to do with you as well.
It depends on what your standards are. If the standards that are not being satisfied have to do with being honest, loyal, and caring then keep the standards and broaden your search. If the standards are something like “over six feet tall, six figure income or potential for it, and doesn’t deserve me at my best if he can’t handle me at my worst,” then unless you’re a 10 you need to lower your standards or invest in cat food.
Sounds like the issue is that you're more interested in a fantasy than a relationship. You might not need to lower your standards at all, just make sure you aren't daydreaming.
I'm gonna be totally real with you, speaking as a high value man; most women don't have the game or confidence to pull the kind of men they want.
THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU:
"LOWER YOUR STANDARD FOR DATING, BUT KEEP YOUR STANDARD TO COMMITTMENT JUST THE SAME."
Dating standards being low increases the pool, and commitment standards high will ensure you get same level of results
you got this all wrong. you date someone because you LIKE them. not date someone just to date someone to not be alone... yikes. i think it's worth it to wait until you find someone you actually like so you're not stringing along the other person... and if they found out "i only dated you because i didn't want to stay single forever. that's all" think of how shitty they'll feel...
Now you do not say why you find that those men are 'losers'.. Maybe your friends tell you to give them a chance because they do not think your definition of a loser is that valid. Maybe it really is or your perception of them could change if you get to know them for real.
Maybe you should do this exercise, Make a list of what criteria a man must meet and what percentage of men meet that standard. for instance he must be what you consider tall 10% of men, financially stable 10% handsome 15% of men
10% is 1 in 10 men
10% of 10% is 1 in 100
10% of 10% of 15% is 1.5 men in every thousand
then look at the competition, Like are other women look for the same sort of man, Are you a 1 in a 1000 women etc.
No, wait for the wait one. There isn't ever any rush. Things happen in life when they are supposed to happen, relationships cause more heartache and drama then they do romeo and Julie sadly in reality. Good luck, though I wish you all the best but don't lower you're standards for anyone! 🙂.
Kindness, respect, love, are challenging to find. A Healthy and fit physique, can almost always be obtained. As you age, looks will fade, but love can endure.
Imagine being part of someone's transformation to a happier and healthier person. Now imagine that person being the love of your life :-)
You're still pretty young. PRAY TO GOD for help finding the right man. Trust me, God hs a sense of humor for some people. You get the answer at the last conceivable moment when your last shred of faith is about spent.
Don't settle.. maybe work on yourself to be the best you want to be and make sure your confidence is high... guys love confidence just like girls do. And hopefully you are not a douche bag and these guys you don't like are actually losers lol
Don't give up your standards. Reevaluate them accordingly. Relationships are about compromise and communication. So start with yourself. Don't miss out on love cuz a guy 5'10 and not 5'11 lol