Should I just give up on finding men or dating?

[Anonymous]

I’ve struggled with dating all my life. I can’t seem to keep a boyfriend or I get cheated on. I’ve been cheated on, dumped and one I dumped. My friends kept saying to give my guy friend a chance since he’s the only guy that truly likes me and they’ve seen the way he looks at me and tries to always impress me. I always chased after guys that don’t like me back and out of my league. The thing is I don’t like my guy friend that way. Lately he’s been texting me everyday and has been more straightforward and always jumps in everytime a guy talks to me or whatever. My parents like my guy friend. My dad said he’s way better than those losers I’ve dated and I’m very lucky to have a guy that always checks up on me, similar to me and understands me (we’re both autistic but I’m more independent than he is). My dad said oh come on, he OBVIOUSLY likes me. Give him a chance. He treats me like a queen. He’s tall (6’1) and chubby and I’m tall (5’11) and chubby. Both losing weight. He never cared for the slim, petite or shorter gorgeous ladies. I’ve only had one neurodivergent boyfriend and he was an ass. I dated three neurotypical guys and that was a fail! One took advantage of me and used my disability to manipulate me and some were so mean. My old tall (6’5) and good looking high school crush I dated earlier this year only dated for my body (losing weight and getting slimmer) and never truly liked me. He was so mean and brutal to me in high school because I’m autistic (called us special needs students retarded) and was overweight at 260lbs. My parents preferred me to date a guy similar to me than non autistic men that may take advantage of me because I’m naive and too trusting.
I will never find a good man that has neutral feelings or likes me.

[Summeroflove]

It’s more selfish to string someone along you’re not interested in them letting someone down easy and not wasting their time so they can find someone who is. By all means try a few dates and see if attraction materializes but if it doesn’t don’t waste your time and especially don’t waste someone else’s time. You wouldn’t want a dude only dating you for the sake of having a relationship and you genuinely believe he likes you.

If you’re not wanting a relationship don’t have one. That doesn’t mean that you hate men as human beings it’s just you know if and when the time is right. What is meant to be will be…. When you feel genuinely attracted to a man you will know that you like him. Otherwise, it’s better to be single and have your peace then in a relationship and be miserable.

[HawkPerception]

Based on what you've mentioned, it sounds like your friend is a guy that matches you. I don't understand women who pass by perfectly decent dudes for all the guys that clearly have red flags, then complain they'll never find a good guy or they'll always get cheated on. I feel sorry for your friend for liking a girl like you. One day, you'll look back on it and say "Damn he was a great guy. I should've just got with him. Why was I so dumb?"

[Asker]

Wow…. did you really just say that to me? Now I’m the bad guy?

[HawkPerception]

I did and I stand by what I said. You're free to have your preferences. Just don't go crying about dumb decisions later.

[Asker]

That was harsh when you said you feel bad for my guy friend to have a girl like me in his life. I like him but not like as a boyfriend. I don’t want to go out with him. My friends tell me to just give him a chance because no other guys want to go out with me and he’s in my league. I DONT WANT HIM

[HawkPerception]

That right there... zero logic. "I only want guys out of my league. I'm not into the nice guy who everyone sees as a good guy for me."

You do realize how absolutely nonsensical that sounds, right?

[Asker]

OK you know what if I went out with my girlfriend I would give him false hopes. I’m not doing that. You guys always get angry at women who won’t date their guy friends. If I like him back, then I would consider that, but I have no feelings for him.

[HawkPerception]

Then stop stringing him along. Ask if he likes you. And if he does, then end the friendship. Don't keep him in the friend zone. Only then can I respect you.

[Asker]

I AM NOT STRINGING HIM ALONG!!! He doesn’t even ask he out or texts everyday. See we’re just friend! Always women are to blame

[HawkPerception]

Then I don't see why you can't ask him that simple question

[ohsheeT]

That's your choice no one can tell you what to do..

Give us one good reason why you would do that.
And no matter your answer not unless you have turned lesbian

I would say this is a moment in time after this moment another one will start.

Depending how you want to look at it..

Now You have 5 billion moments left

[Clear_Skies10]

That seems to be the way it goes for a lot of people. They aren't that attracted to the one who wants them, so instead they chase after other ones that aren't that into them. Then nothing works out. Love is actually a very shallow thing. There's gotta be some attraction.

[Asker]

Yeah you got a point. If I went out with my guy friend, I would be giving him false hopes and it’s not fair to him.

[Clear_Skies10]

That's true. Having attraction to each other seems to be what causes it to become a romantic relationship. Otherwise it's just a friendship.

[Asker]

Exactly so that’s why I’m doing him a favor. I can’t hurt my friend like that.

[cth2188]

I have up on men 15 years ago with no plans of dating again - I focus on traveling and working

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear.😆

[Asker]

No it’s fine

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's part of the depopulation agenda is to make dating and therefore breeding less and less possible for more and more people

[dudeinohio]

No
. patience and persistence is the best move

[Richard85]

Come to my dm

[Anonymous]

No..

[Asker]

Why shouldn’t I?