I'm almost 25 I have no man?

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 25. I had casual dates, I never had actual boyfriend who loves me. In the past I got cheated on and rejected. My mom and dad was abusive and I grew up hearing I'm not enough. Also my mom physically abusing me till my age of 22

I feel like a loser. l'm not able to having & keeping a man. I even feel SO insecure anxious when I socialize. I feel like everyone is looking down at me or making fun of me.

I really need someone in my life, but I don't think I have enough strength to date again. I don't want to get betrayed again. My self esteem already in the floor.

Also, I cannot get our from my head without meeting new people too. However, I don't wanna casual anything anymore because casual relationships leave me like I'm not worthy of a real relationship, commitment and love

Any advice?

[noemiii]

I’m 26 and similar. I’ve never had a boyfriend and both my parents were narcissistic and unable to provide love so I grew up feeling that way. Genuinely though, being alone has taught me so much about myself that I wouldn’t learn if I had dated the wrong guys. I have so much self love and self respect that it’s hard to date someone unless they provide me peace.

Don't get so down about it. Wait it out. Realize that A LOT of people are in relationships they are unhappy in, just for the sake of saying they are in a relationship and to rush a relationship that you’re not meant to be in will stagnate you in your growth as a person. If you are unhappy with yourself you’ll be unhappy in a relationship! Find peace within your own self and who’s for you will come to you. Change your need for a relationship to a want. You need to be okay with being alone first. Realize you only NEED a relationship because society tells you, but ask yourself do you really WANT one and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Alter your conditioning. Alter your self image and belief around who you are.

In order to do that you have to think the way you want to think regardless of appearances, old conditioning, logic.

You cannot just think. You have to do something with those thoughts. You have to internalize them. You have to get emotionally involved with them. See yourself as the person you want to be. Don't think of who you want to be, think from who you want to be. Repetition is how you alter conditioning. If you tell yourself a lie often and frequently enough you will come to accept it and believe it. Actually that's basically what it sounds like your parents did to you. A woman who taught me all this was very similar to you in her youth.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who doesn't tell you to go see a therapist, shouldn't even be responding to this question.
I feel for you, but this is beyond the advice of helpful strangers. Those kind of feelings brought on by a traumatic past need professional counseling.
You know, someone who actually knows what they're talking about

[Guy13]

Professional Counseling.

[Wade12345]

Professional Counselling/Pastoral Counselling, and probably medication such as Abilify. If you are trapped in your head, that leads to bipolar and anxiety and stuff.

[Asker]

Hi, Why specifically Abilify but not Xanax?

[Wade12345]

Xanax will knock most people out in any dose larger than 0.5mg.
abilify cures everything. the only side effect i know of is some people gain weight on abilifyl

[Wade12345]

Trust me, I know how social anxiety and bipolar/schizoeffective works. I used to rehearse talking to people for 3 days before talking to them, because I was so afraid of making a mistake.

[SnowedIn]

Get yourself to a professional counselor/therapist.

[driven159]

You are very young you will find your knight in shining armor. You just need to not look for it and let it happen on its own.

[shortster]

Keep at it you'll find someone who will love you.