Have you ever just thrown in the towel?

[Anonymous]

I'm thirty two. After being interested in women for twenty years and never having any success in relationships, I've decided to try to let go of the dream, permanently.

I've measured the pros and cons that someone would have to look at and realize that the cons of dating me are too high. I don't have much going for me. I'm a four out of ten at best.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Okay, you're being real with yourself... if you're here in the west (I'm in the US right now), the females here are not exactly an easy win either and I would tell you it's not all you. Decent looks and not obese is hard enough to find and when you do she might pretty much think of herself as a boss babe even if she's a 2 out of 10 with the diabetus.

I would say hit the weights and find healthy hobbies, and just do stuff you have lots of fun doing. Look up "MGTOW monk mode" and in my opinion, it seems pretty reasonable to me. Some chicks will actually get mad at you for choosing that lifestyle simply because you're no longer a potential source of resources... which says just more of how poor the options are... which you've said you've already weighed the pros and cons, so you probably know what I'm talking about.

Yeah man... just hit the weights and get healthy and that not just changes the body... it will even change your face. Do things you find fun. If you're just having fun and actually enjoying your life... that's when the chicks start trying to chase you. Sure, those PUA dudes pull some bar slags like crazy... but you really want to end up with a girl that goes to a bar to get picked up by some pick up artist like it was an intelligent thing to do? ... a good fuck maybe, but those hoes are not relationship material. They're what we call...

Practice girls. 😂

[Heterosketero]

You will not become a 5 or more in your own mind without throwing in that towel. Throw it in. Work on you. Because think about it this way, would you date someone who was convinced they were a 4 at best? You deserve better and they deserve better. You now have the perfect opportunity to live for yourself. Honor it and it will take you far from now. Its not about the gym for everyone, what are your passions? The ones you put aside to date someone. These are your self improvements now. You can do it man, for real. I was a late bloomer and I have been. Single for the last decade, which I chose, for exaclty the reason you wrote in your question. And sir, a pandemic just ended, dont let this opporrunity pass you by and become who you need to be while the odds are good because that window will pass. People have started ditching dating apps in favour of real life courting, which almost nobody knows how to do anymore, so you are on par. I truly hope I have sold you on independence.

[Anonymous]

I think you’ll find that once you start focusing on yourself and improving your self confidence you will start meeting more people or potential partners. I think it’s good to not care about having a relationship and just enjoy your life. Once you stop looking they come it’s so frustrating haha. If you can master life on your own then, if or when, you meet a partner it’ll be a thousand times better because you will know that you don’t need them in your life you just want them in your life. And honestly if you don’t meet someone fuck it, you will have zero worries. No one nagging you, no one pressuring you to make big life decisions. You’ll always be your priority and can literally do whatever you want!

[Guy13]

Do what you have to do. Improve during this time.

[WindAtMyBack]

Yes I have, but it wasn't about relationships.

The thing is that things went a lot more smoothly, and I was happier after that. I suppose if you don't have high expectations you aren't disappointed. So it was much smoother sailing after that.

That doesn't mean I did nothing at all. I just didn't try to force anything and let things flow more naturally.

You can change your priorities and your expectations without entirely giving up. There are so many things in life. It might seem like one or two of them are of highest importance, but life is a lot broader than that. Just go with the flow and focus on other things.

[Heterosketero]

Good points, Uni really took me down a peg for a while, and it wasn't the dating

[RandomGuy1030]

All I can say is if that's an excuse to be lazy then you're doing yourself no favors. Try embracing the pain of your situation and make a genuine effort. Get some muscles for a start.

Drink coffee every morning, if you're fat, it lowers estrogen 50%... and boosts testosterone by 50%. Plus, it's an antidepressant.

Do push-ups and sit ups. Stretch your body. Correct your posture.

Practice visualization of winning. Anticipate struggle and failure and push through it.

Control your emotions. Dont get angry, don't cry. It's a false sense of power.

Don't be afraid to leave everyone behind and go to another city. Start fresh.

Believe in logic. Know what you need to do and force yourself to do it.

[RandomGuy1030]

*black coffee. Sugar lowers testosterone.

[AdithyaR]

Interesting, I've done basically all of this and I still find myself utterly single.🤔

[RandomGuy1030]

@AdithyaR if you've actually gained appreciable muscle mass you wouldn't be single.

[RandomGuy1030]

That's all I suggested and then some extra tips on how to follow through and get the muscle

[AdithyaR]

I'm not actually looking to gain muscle mass as such, I'm trying to maintain my body toned and lean since I also dance so want to maintain my body for that flexibility and fluidity.

[Heterosketero]

@AdithyaR real talk

[Heterosketero]

Good intent, terrible delivery, alpha up bitches! My metabolism eat me alive for 43 years, hit and weight training through my 20s with steak and butter almost everyday, solid 145 forever. But a long distance runner build, same as my fatyer and my fathers father.

Eve foing to discourage counsel to excercise, but we need to nit treat evey man like a cookie cutout. Physiques range wildly and I think it honestly pushes more dudes away than gets them into it. My brother got me into MMA and kickboxing but as the smallest dide in the class, lighter than most of the women, I found no value until someone joined in my weight class and I floored them. I finally got to feel a victory against equal odds.

Still great friends with my sparring partner and it changed my life.

About the coffee, you ever try bullet coffee? Black coffee and uncultured butter after spars or weights or runs, its a meal. Dont get me wrong, I like your advice, you probably bench a fuckton more than me.

[RandomGuy1030]

@Heterosketero I don't do keto it's been proven to be bad for the heart in rat studies.

[RandomGuy1030]

And ketone aren't the bodies preferred energy source lol. That shit was all a lie

[Bricealan]

At 32, I would not be so quick to throw in the sponge, OR the towel. That is too young to quit the "game".

[nitsuj86]

Then do something with your life. Stop pouting and expecting it to change.

[serious_miss419]

This is an excellent example of how guys don’t support one another. This mentality is awful.

[nitsuj86]

@serious_miss419

Men provide solutions. We don't coddle someone's delusions, just to make them feel better. That is a temporary fix. Not "support".

Become the man that women want, or find a woman that accepts you for you, and accepts her for her. Most of the time guys like this have women that would be interested but they aren't "hot enough" or whatever. I'd say the same to a woman.

No one is going to fix your problems but yourself. Looking for sympathy, especially from people you are trying to date is a losing game. They don't care, they want someone that has his shit together. Especially women.

Focus on improving your life, and having fun. The women will follow. But please don't listen to people trying to coddle you and make you feel better. It will make you feel worse in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. I found that after 40mos of these women that rejected before men are leaving then for younger models. Now I just enjoy playing the same games with them after 40 that they played with me before 40. 😆😆😆

[PainusNdeeAnus]

the wealthiest people always know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em

[Anonymous]

your not alone their called incels. there's communities and youtubers for that. https://www.youtube.com/c/IncelTV/videos

[Jltakk]

I've been there. Now I just live for myself only.

[Wise4myage]

Not yet, lol.

[Jmmmfi4]

I've completely given up