Guys, Why do guys do this/ what am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

This thing keeps happening where a guy will go on a few (3-4) dates with me, we'll have sex once or twice, and then I won't hear from him. Sometimes it's the kind of thing where I'll reach out again, and he'll say he's busy, other times, it's just radio silence. It feels really bad for me... and the fact that it's a pattern can't be good. But I'm curious: (1) what does it mean when men do this? Are they truly just using me/ not feeling anything? (2) what can I do to prevent this from happening as often? The last guy, I explicitly asked him to at least tell me if he loses interest... and it happened again. Is this symptomatic of a broader trend in dating culture? Is it a sign that I'm just not a good partner or not really girlfriend material? What is going on?

[Anonymous]

It can be difficult to know exactly why a particular person is behaving a certain way, especially in the context of dating. However, there are a few potential explanations for why this pattern keeps happening to you:

1. Some men may be more interested in casual sex than in pursuing a long-term relationship. They may enjoy spending time with you and having sex, but then lose interest once they get what they want.

2. Some men may not be looking for a serious relationship at this point in their lives, and may not be ready to commit to anything more than a few dates and some casual sex.

3. It's possible that some of the men you've been dating simply weren't a good match for you, and didn't feel a strong enough connection to continue pursuing the relationship.

To prevent this pattern from happening as often, you could try a few different things:

1. Be clear about what you're looking for in a relationship. If you're interested in something more serious, make sure that's clear from the beginning. This can help weed out men who aren't looking for the same thing.

2. Take things slow. If you're not comfortable having sex early on, don't feel like you have to. This can give you more time to get to know someone and see if there's a real connection.

3. Look for signs that someone is interested in more than just sex. This could include things like wanting to spend time with you outside of the bedroom, introducing you to friends and family, and making an effort to communicate regularly.

It's also worth noting that this pattern is not necessarily reflective of broader trends in dating culture, and does not necessarily mean that you're not a good partner or girlfriend material. It may just be a matter of finding someone who is a better match for you and who is looking for the same things in a relationship.

[Chill_Thoughts]

They've said it all already, if you want to find a guy that's genuine, don't have sex for a whileee and not only that let them know that they won't. Follow through on that, like develop actual feelings and maybe even get in a relationship before you get laid.

If you looking to get laid tho, be honest with them as well. Sure you might not want to fuck just anyone, but let them know you're just looking for something casual and fun, but that you might need a little bit (those 3-4 dates) to warm up to it.

Chasing is a lot of fun, which is bad for you cause guys will completely act a certain way just to "conquer" you. If you make it obvious you're not trying to be seduced, you're kinda just knowing them a little before you let them hit, there's no need to be fake.

Hope it helps

[Guy13]

Giving it up too soon 🔜

[Avicenna]

This is dating culture these days

[FilmGuy93]

This is a tricky thing to explain to women without having them feel like you're attacking them, so I'm going to try my best to be as honest with you as I can and hope for the best.

The biggest reason that men invest time and energy into women that they later ghost is that they haven't formed any kind of connection with her. Women tend to lead with their looks, and while that's very visually enticing, there's no substance. A lot of women are extremely boring/uninteresting people, and most of them have no real idea how to have a conversation. The man might genuinely like the woman a great deal, but he can't connect with her as a person if there isn't anything for him to connect with... does that make sense?

It's extremely difficult for a man to connect with a woman if she doesn't really have any hobbies, or reall substance for him to connect with.

[MrCommodore]

This is common, it's not you personally, lots of guys do this to girls basically for sex or another notch on the bed post.

You can change behaviours to prevent it from happening.

[Asker]

I appreciate that! But like... what behaviors do I change? I've tried talking about this in advance and usually give it a few dates before anything else happens...

[MrCommodore]

You basically got to drag it out slightly longer before having sex, but I probably need to understand more details first. There are ways you can test guys interest in you before sleeping with them.

You may also need to review the type of guy you are going for, but its hit & miss at times

[Iron_Man]

He’s just using you I don’t do that

[Asker]

Damn lol. But it's good to know.