We've been dating for a month but I realized that he doesn't see me romantically. Do you think it is a good idea to become friends first?

[passenger]

As I asked you before, he told me that we are not compatible in our first date. We've seen each other 2 times more, I think that he doesn't see me romantically. Do you think if we become friends first, something romantic will develop later?

[OlderAndWiser]

If he has already told you that he doesn't see you as a romantic partner, that means that either:

1. he is not sexually attracted to you, or

2. he has learned something about you (other than a lack of sexual attraction to you) which is a dealbreaker.

If he is not attracted, it is possible. . . POSSIBLE. . . that an attraction could develop later, but that is NOT LIKELY to happen.

If he is physically attracted but there is some other dealbreaker, then continuing the relationship will lead to him wanting to have sex with you but no serious commitment, and you will end the relationship feeling that you were used when, in reality, you ALLOWED yourself to be used.

It really sounds like there is no future here and you are wasting your time. Are you desperate for this guy and willing to waste time for him, or are you ready to move forward?

[lightbulb27]

I don't think osmosis is going to work, that's long suffering.

Deep dive into what is controlling him and limiting his ability to see you that way, might. That requires exploring his past, which may build some emotional connection. But this is also tough, he may be blocking you. This is kinda the friend path.

upping your game can help... how you present yourself.

There's a tshirt test... smell his sweaty t-shirt. if it smells good, maybe you got something. if not, move on.

[KatiaK_1996]

It doesn’t always mean something bad. There’s nothing wrong with you. Seeing you “romantically” and “sexually” are not always mutually exclusive. I’ve been involved with guys before who were really sexually attracted but then told me they didn’t have feelings for me in that way. I’ve seen really amazing women since high school deal with this problem where the guy just doesn’t see them that way.
To answer your question though I definitely think you should move on. I’m assuming friends isn’t what you want and you deserve better. Find someone who makes you feel 100% and not leaving room for you to second guessing yourself. Best of luck.

[sheikalana]

I mean you guys are already dating there’s no way you’ll now become friends and pretend nothing happened. I think you need to have a talk first and make things clear and ask him how he feels about you and if you guys have any chance of making things official in the future. If you’re not on the same page maybe is best for you to move on instead of wasting each others time.

[SteveSmith1985]

No. I do not. I think that if he doesn't see you romantically, then you can become friends. But that's all you're going to ever be. If you genuinely want this guys friendship, then be friends. If you are hoping that it will lead him to see you romantically over time, then you should not be friends with him. That is not going to happen. Sorry. But it's better not to give you false hopes.

[coachTanthony]

You can be friends but I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. Can't wait around to see if someone will develop feelings for you especially if it's already been a month. I think that's enough time.

[Crmolon]

I would think cut your losses, if it's not there it shouldn't take work. You deserve someone who really does feel everything you feel at the same time. I thinks it better to wait for something special than invest in a what could be if that makes sense

[Anonymous]

Highly unlikely. Guys are quite firm with such statements.

When girls say "I hate you". They may not mean it many times.

But when a guy says the same thing even once, he may mean it dead seriously. And that should be enough for her.

Try to be friends with him. But don't expect much. For sure.

[Opinion Owner]

The tolerance level of guys on an average is much more than that of girls. Hence when guys say something, they mean it most of the times. Dead seriously.

[Anonymous]

You are dating him.. already !
You can chose to be act or be friends and see where it goes but keep it short term maybe 3 months. And also even during that time meet other guys too..!
Remember whatever happens at the end DO NOT feel sad just move on like a boss bc who cares that d! ck doesn’t love you romantically. You can always find someone else always ……

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[Paris13]

It's ONLY been a Month. Things could change. Go Slow and Begin as Friends and See where it Might Go. However, If Months go By, And still Nothing------You decide... xxoo

[nitsuj86]

Nah, he meant what he said. If you continue to hang out well that's just guilt-free sex whenever it happens. I would find a man that wants to be with you.

[Jamie05rhs]

No; it doesn't work that way. If he doesn't see you romantically, he never will. Guys know what they want and they know what they're attracted to as soon as they see it. There is no "getting to know" required.

[genericname85]

if he doesn't see you romantically, it won't happen. so if you expect that to happen from "becoming friends first", you should probably not waste your time with that.

[LiamJHayden]

Friends first does not work for me. I'll take friends out, but not romantically.

[Ur1local2bisexual]

Maybe you never know what like has planned for you

[Justasking205]

It's always possible like more u hang n he sees u all dolled gives him time to be like damnnn

[Anonymous]

Becoming romantic when you become a friend? I don't think that's what will happen

[Sasha0426]

I do not. It’s best to move on.

[Alex8736]

TBH he is giving you the friend card

[In_Trance]

Terrible idea