If the good ones are always taken & considering I’m (28F) always single, does that mean I’m not one of the good ones?

[Anonymous]

Yes I know what I want but I feel like I have enough going for me to have a little bit of wiggle room when it comes to being kind of selective. I want someone w a decent job, tall, cute/decent looks, funny etc. I’m not asking for 6 figures & a runway model, I’m told I’m attractive but I’m never approached in person. On dating apps I get msgs & matches but it just doesn’t work out (ghosting, lack of interest, fizzling out etc). Last time I saw someone was when I was 23 & that felt like settling which is why I’m glad that’s over. I’m convinced some people like me are meant to be alone

Yes

No

[OfMiceandMen]

Out of everything you said above, I focused on the two items..."I’m told I’m attractive but I’m never approached in person", and, "On dating apps I get msgs & matches but it just doesn’t work out (ghosting, lack of interest, fizzling out etc)."

I think you are likely right, you probably are attractive, maybe better than average, but that can sometimes be a bit of hurdle in itself. Guys see a pretty girl on-line or at the bar and they get somewhat intimidated. Moreover, if you are a bit shy/reserved, then this would give them a "snob-vibe". Which is likely untrue, but that is what it can come off as.

Dating isn't what it used to be, it fell entirely on the guy to be more forward and getting to know the girl. Girls and particularly girls like yourself that know what they want have to be a little more outgoing and not sit on the sidelines If the guy sees you as a "friendly" then your more approachable.

The other thing is, you can't give off a vibe that you are all about finding a guy even though that is exactly what you are doing. If you have anything on your dating app profile that states what you have above "I want someone w a decent job, tall, cute/decent looks, funny etc.", then this is the type of stuff that paints you in a corner. It is okay to have these standards in your mind, but if you put a bunch of criteria in your profile, guys will surely pass by bc it appears you are way to picky/selective. They think, wow she's a cutey and then read all of the stuff that your looking for and finally think, overload, and move on.

You may be thinking marriage and kids at 28, but if you say those things in your profile or when you are chatting online, you are getting way ahead of the game and I guarantee a lot of guys (including some good ones), will move on. They just look at the app as an introduction medium. The details come later.

You should put as little as possible in a dating app profile about what you're looking for. Keep it super simple. Your chats should be the same, looking to make some new friends and hopefully a connection that starts something great.

The last bit of advice... enjoy your single life while you can! While you're waiting to meet Mr. Right, do things you wouldn't do if you are in a relationship or have children. This is the time, you can have all sorts of fun going to places, seeing things you've always wanted, etc. Once you are in a committed relationship with children, a home, etc. these things tend to go to the wayside. Who knows, while your living it up you may meet someone, or at a minimum, give you new material to post your profile showing off your adventurous side. It says, ya I'm looking for someone, but I am not about to quit living to do it! Guys, who tend to lead a boring life (eat, sleep, work) will see you doing these things and become instantly attracted to you, bc they want to be part of that lifestyle.

Hope, some of this is useful and I wish you good luck.

[Jamie05rhs]

Not necessarily. But it does mean that most of the good men are already taken. (Don't get me wrong; there are still a lot of good men out there. They just may not be as attractive as the ones you were looking for.)

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[HighValue]

Depends on what your past and morals are like to determine if you are one of the good ones or not.

[slatyb]

"tall, cute/decent looks, funny etc" How tall? How tall are you? How attractive?

[Anonymous]

Highly likely yes.

But the good news it doesn't have to stay that way. You can decide to change that and become the type of woman that attracts good men.

[Anonymous]

The good ones aren't taken... The ones you want just dont want you. Like most women, you only want the top 5% of men.

[Anonymous]

By the sound of it... yes you are NOT one of the good ones unfortunately.. if you were you would have been snagged up years ago.

[Cheerfull009]

If you are really attractive and sexy, definitely good men will approach you