Men have to change but women don't in order to get results in their dating lives, in order to be able to attract someone, true or false?

[Anonymous]

I've seen some discussions go on about that, a lot of people say that men have to change but women don't in order to be attractive to the other sex, it feels that way because it seems like for men they have to make behavioral changes to them or social skills changes to them, a lot more than the other way around.

So in that essence would you say it's only men who have to change, women don't, if they want to be able to succeed at attracting the other sex?

[Anonymous]

The main difference is that women can build more initial attraction through looks, but men build more initial and actual attraction through presence / action. Thus women can 'do nothing' and attract a man, but invariably a man needs to do something to create this attraction.

But since women often take the more passive role, they are at the mercy of men's requirements. However, since most men do not understand their own value, or role, they are desperate. And due to this more women over value themselves in terms of perceived SMV and this creates a whole set of different issues for them. This is why men are the ones that need to change, but if they understood their value, then more women would need to change as well.

[Asker]

Since women can build more initial attraction through their looks only, it's easy to kind of envy women for that because building or starting attraction through your looks only is not something that requires any skills or any behaviors, it doesn't require any practice or training or trial and error.

Since men have to be the ones who spark attraction through their actions and behaviors and social skills, conversation, that is something that requires practice and training or trial and error

[Asker]

That's why it annoys me that there are dating coaches for women, I don't see how women need to know or learn how to attract a man since women by default are guaranteed attention from men for just existing since for all time women have always been on the receiving end of sexual attention

[Opinion Owner]

I don't envy women because it's very short lived and full of traps concerning the ego. As a man, we can 'decide' which women are attracted to us and don't really need to worry too much about unwanted attention. But for women, looks only gets them in the door for the most part (unless the guy is really desperate) and they can't really focus who they want to attract as much, which can result in unwanted attention.

[Asker]

Even though women have to deal with unwanted attention and men don't, the positive part about getting unwanted attention is that it gives women validation, even though women may be getting hit on by men that they don't want, it gives them validation that they are someone who is wanted and someone who is sought after

[Asker]

And what do you mean that it's short-lived for women? But yeah I get very annoyed when people say women need skills to attract a man

[Opinion Owner]

That validation declines, the older they get and since their ego becomes inflated by it, it ends up being a disadvantage due to delusions.

[Asker]

Is this referring to sexual market value

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, and they always confuse it with the internal value they feel.

[slatyb]

Completely false. Men and women have equal difficulty dating.

[definitelyNotHer]

No. None of what you are hearing is true, you don't have to completely change yourself in order to attract someone. I mean sure, we all have things to work on since no one is perfect and working on yourself before getting in a relationship may help it go better but unless there is a real reason why you should work on your behavior/social skills (like your mental health or if you did something wrong in a past relationship) you shouldn't have to "change". Working on yourself is always good and beneficial to you and everyone in your life though.

[LazerBean]

Mostly true, because so many men are insanely desperate and easy.

[SolitarySolace]

This is why I prefer to stay single. I won’t change for any woman.

[BarryLiverstone]

Both people have to make heathy decisions and work on themselves to be attractive

[Anonymous]

Women typically don't have to change to attract a guy. But they may have to change to keep him.

[Nikki1989]

Obviously that is false.

[LiamJHayden]

Would I say that? No.

[Freyke]

False as fuck.