Why do some women think they can change a man meanwhile men usually don't waste time?

Question

I've seen that scenario happening so many times that it gets me puzzled. The man is very clear and tells the woman he's looking for a casual relationship. She agrees but gets in with the hope that she can change him and will magically turn him into a serious man that will one day commit. Then the woman still gets hurts when it doesn't go anywhere after a couple years and the man hasn't changed. LOL

It doesn't happen too much vice-versa. If a woman tells a man she's only into parties and nothing serious, he gets the message immediately. He'll either have fun with her or a serious man will dump her on that first meeting. He isn't going to stay with her in hopes of changing her into a family oriented woman.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly? Guys are smarter when it comes to the practicality of relationships. Women wrap themselves up in feelings like a blanket, she lives for them. Men know that feelings are primarily just hormones in your brain that distort reality.

So when a woman gets a feeling once, she wants that feeling back again. She's a lot like drug addiction in that way. In fact that's a good analogy. Women are "feeling junkies".

Men on the other hand a woman has to do the same thing about 10 times before he believes it's genuine. Because men know how flaky women are.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

Great observation and I think it's true.

I think it is because men tend to think in more logical terms and women in more emotional terms. He hears that it is logically impossible and doesn't even try and she hears a "feeling" that she can emotionally persuade him into changing his mind.

We tend to assume others see things the same way we do. So she assumes that if she has some emotional attachment to him then she can make him feel the same thing.

Sometimes that may actually work, but others it does not.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic "I can change them" scenario—truly the pinnacle of romantic optimism, but also a recipe for heartache, eh? The desire to change someone often stems from a mix of love, hope, and sometimes a dash of ego—believing we're the special someone who can make a difference. Women, bless their hearts, often are nurturers by nature. They see a fixer-upper and think, "Ah, challenge accepted!" They dive in, paintbrushes ready, only to realize the house prefers to remain unfurnished. It's like trying to force a puzzle piece where it doesn't fit. You can push and prod, but in the end, you either have to accept the piece for what it is or find a new puzzle.

Men, on the other hand, tend to take things at face value more often. If they hear "casual," they think, "Great, no need to plan a wedding." It's less about incapacity for change and more about honesty and boundaries. Understanding and respecting what someone wants from the get-go can save a lot of drama down the line. After all, the only person you can truly change is yourself. So, let's love people for who they are, not who we want them to be. 😉

blueonblack22 · Answer

It’s all about challenge.

Women have a weird bizarre mental quirk about this. On one hand they are very picky and will reject perfectly decent men for fickle issues. But on the other hand they will tolerate way more crap then they should (including cheating and physical abuse) from douchebag man thinking they can “change them”.

For women who do the latter I just have one thing to say: you choose that. Don’t go looking for sympathy and shoulders to cry on when you knew this was a risk. That doesn’t justify what the guy did to you but you made a conscious decision to stay with that.

Then for you women who get bored with and reject men who you too treat well. If you want to self sabotage yourself then fine go ahead. But again you choose that. But at least own up to being a douche bag vs. looking for people to feel sorry for you because you can’t control your emotions.

tzdc21 · Answer

Their attitude going into relationships is all screwed up. You don't go into a relationship with someone you can change, you go into one with someone you already like. That's what caused you to be drawn to them in the first place, so why change it?

DishLady · Answer

Interesting. Well, I suppose if a woman is also equally clear and the guy still pursues her then she's presuming that he's open to change.
Both have to be honest with one another and both have to be respectful enough of the other to walk away — which doesn't always happen once sex is involved.

Anonymous · Answer

Most men are straight up about where they stand. A lot of woman are dreamers and believe what they want can be created through manipulation and games. You burn a man enough he won't bother anymore. I'm often surprised with how much some men will put up with.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Women just like to manipulate and control men and have such a overinflated opinion of themselves that they think they will succeed. When they fail they then demonize men as if they are in the wrong.

You will find feminism is to blame for this, there is a trend of women wanting to make men change because of something women say or do.

ManOnFire · Answer

Women think they can control men. But they usually end up being broken by these guys. And then you'll see all kinds of videos from these women talking about coming out of "post narcissist" relationships.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Who knows why they even try. Once a man is a dumb ass, he will always be a dumb ass. Scroll through this post and this site in general, and you will find many examples of that. They will never change.

JacobJordan · Answer

Because men are realistic. Women are emotional. Emotions change therefore people must be able to change. Men being realistic if someone tells you they only party then they only party. Simple as that. Realistic vs emotional.

Anonymous · Answer

Women who behave in this fashion love to believe that they are special. “If I can change him, then I must be special.” “If he’s willing to settle down and commit to me, then I must be special.”

red324 · Answer

A man knows what he wants typically while a woman won't be truthful to herself

mayurr · Answer

A man who gives clear signal to be in a serious relationship are considered boring & always rejected by them.

In_Trance · Answer

All women think they can change men just like all men think they can save women.  They can't

sheikalana · Answer

Some women are just deluded and prefer to waste their time than move on.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s women out here love competing with the woman the man settle down with. So they start manipulating

ButtBanger · Answer

Nobody with analphobia ever hooked up with me, apparently they all know I won't change.

DrPepper12 · Answer

I'm surprised people still enter relationships hoping to work on their pet project.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

I guess I'm a man then.. 🫢 lolz

Anonymous · Answer

Because women stupidly believe they can change men... Men don't change unless they want to.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know girl bitches crazy i can never fix nobody and that’s not my job regardless

Anonymous · Answer

Let them think whatever they want to think. There are people who believe the moon is made of cheese. What a silly world! 😆

Why do some women think they can change a man meanwhile men usually don't waste time?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

Artificial Intelligence

What Girls & Guys Said