How do I find out if she's telling the truth?

[Anonymous]

This is going to sound really ridiculous but it really matters to me not because it matters, but because I don't like being lied to. I've been seeing this girl now for about 6 months and we're waiting until we're married to have intercourse. I remember one day as we were talking about it, she brought up some prior experiences that she's had and she told me that she never gave anyone oral before.

Ever since then she said that it's been spiraling through my mind.. How do I find out if she's telling the truth or not? Is there a way for me to ask again without asking outright? I know it sounds silly but I just really want to know. It's really bugging me. Thanks for taking the time to read this message and have a great day.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you want to know if your partner has been truthful with you, but it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and respect for her privacy.

If you want to bring up the topic again, you could try asking her in a non-judgmental way if she would feel comfortable sharing more about her past experiences. Let her know that you're not asking to judge her or make her feel uncomfortable, but rather to deepen your understanding of her and your relationship.

It's also important to remember that her past experiences are her own and she has the right to choose what she shares with you. If she doesn't feel comfortable discussing it, try not to push the issue or make her feel guilty for not sharing.

Ultimately, trust is an important aspect of any relationship, and it's up to you to decide whether or not you believe your partner. If you find that you're struggling to trust her, it might be worth seeking support from a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings and improve communication in your relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you! What you're saying is true. I would never want her to feel pain, shame, or guilt from me asking her anything. I want to respect her privacy and not make this situation or her out to be some spectacle. I really like what you said, I think that her sharing more and more with me has given me a better understanding of who she is and why. You are very much in the right! Her past experiences are her own and she gets to choose what she shares with me.. I just wouldn't want any mysteries or things popping up after we get married. I don't want to be finding out stuff after we're married. I would prefer for it to all be laid out on the table. Thank you once again for your response!

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome! It's great to hear that you are approaching the situation with respect and consideration for your partner's feelings and privacy. It's important to have open and honest communication in any relationship, but it's also important to respect each other's boundaries and to not pressure someone into sharing information that they are not comfortable with.

It's understandable to want to know more about your partner's past experiences before getting married, but it's important to approach the conversation in a way that is respectful and non-judgmental. Ultimately, it's up to both of you to decide what information to share and how much to disclose.

Good luck with your relationship and future conversations with your partner!

[slatyb]

"I've been seeing this girl now for about 6 months and we're waiting until we're married to have intercourse."

A perfect recipe for a broken marriage. I hope you are at least talking about your sexual desires in detail -- how often and what you like.

[Asker]

What do you mean by talking about your sexual desires in detail? You mean what we are expecting out of one another?

[slatyb]

Yes, exactly. You don't want to find on your wedding night that she won't do the thing you've been fantasizing about since puberty.

[Sasha0426]

What makes you think she’s not being honest? Is it because you think she’s been with guys before you it means she gave oral? I mean, that’s not always the case.

[Asker]

I believe that she wasn't doing it left and right but I am interested in knowing if she's ever tried it. I think that she might have because of some of the other "experiences" that she's shared with me.

[Sasha0426]

She probably did have sexual experiences EXCEPT for oral. But, like other people said, you could always ask.

[Asker]

That's what she's told me. I could always ask. I'll just wait for the right opportunity to do so. Thank you for taking the time to read this and take care :)

[Pinay_ako]

Just ask her again. The truth will come out sooner or later.

[Asker]

I think that I might.. I just have to wait for the opportunity to present itself. I'm just curious as to whether she's at least tried it.

[Pinay_ako]

If she did then what

[Asker]

I would like to know...

[Pinay_ako]

Ok like I said if she did try oral, what are you going to do or say?

[cardaka]

Knowing or not knowing this will do you nothing. on the contrary, it causes a worse mood

[Asker]

You're completely right. It's just going to end up causing me pain in the long run 😞 but I can't help but want to know for sure.

[Someonerandomgirllol]

The thing is you can't find the truth, it's when you have to come upon it yourself, time will tell that's all I can say

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing. I don't want to make her feel any pain, shame, or guilt over this. I may wait for another opportunity and see if I can get some clarity and confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Asking her again won't change the answer. Get over it and move on.

[Asker]

I would hope not but I have a feeling that if I try and get some confirmation/clarity.. the answer may vary.

[In_Trance]

Ask her